Expanse Text Posts 1/?

So you know the theory that R2D2 and C3PO are Anakin and Padme's wedding rings? What if R2D2 and C3PO also see Anidala as their wedding rings?

Good news! It gets worse!

I think it's the galactic orbit thing that really did me in

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHARKS HAVE BEEN AROUND THE GALAXY TWICE

It’s a very good design

Juansen Dizon, i am the architect of my own destruction

hey quick PSA but “reading before bed to wind down” only works if you’re normal about books btw. if you aren’t you are going to end up awake at 2:52am after finishing the whole book just trust me on this one

[stolen from bluesky]

Everyone knows you're a bottom honey

winter sun by Molly Fisk

For more of my art @alwaystiredshark

hades explaining that he’s the god of the dead, not the god of death

Thanatos explaining that he’s the god of death, not hades

Thanatos explaining that it applies to animals too

Poseidon explaining that he is the god of the seas and oceans

Zeus explaining why he can’t keep it in his pants

A master post

I love this thread

This post has me rocking back and forth laughing and crying and I can’t stop and I love it. I love you, Tumblr. This is my humor.

A few days ago, one of my colleagues saw a one year old kitty for sudden onset seizures. First thought was idiopathic epilepsy, but:

Turned out that someone in the family had brought lilies into the house and put them up high, thinking that the cat wouldn't get to them. Alas, even a lick of pollen from lilies causes fatal kidney damage in cats.

Said cat was not epileptic. Her kidneys were fried, so she lost her life at one year of age.

If you have cats in the house, that means no lilies, no matter how high up they are.

No lilies. Ever. Not even once. If someone gives you a bouquet with lilies, throw the lilies out before you ever bring those flowers into your house. Just breathing the pollen in the air can kill a cat.

If you have cats, please take this seriously. No lilies.

growing up sucks because you realize $1000 isn’t a lot of money

why do so many teenagers follow me. you know i do drugs right.

advice for teens: don't do drugs and drive, don't do drugs with people that don't care about you or people you feel responsible for, don't do drugs for the first time in public, and don't do drugs for the first time alone. also tbh i would recommend not doing anything stronger than weed or alcohol until you're above the age of 18. also nicotine isn't as good as you think it is. addiction is real and seek help if you find yourself leaning on a substance to clear your head/relax more than, like, twice per week. stay safe.

telling teens not to do drugs doesn't work. practical advice like this is so important.

And remember- TELL THE EMTS EVERYTHING like dosage, when you took it, what else you've had lately including stuff like herbal supplements or tylenol. They're not cops they need to know to save your life.

Tell the cops nothing.