Imagine you see the hottest most beautiful man God has ever created. Real life Adonis born from sculptured ivory. And he's simping and forever in love with this bald ass ugly freak you used to make vomit noises as he passed by in high school. Happened to my buddy Oliver Queen.

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Worst threesome in history!!!!!

2026 we're sleeping continuously for 365 days

another peril of reading exclusively nonfiction is that you wind up adopting as blorbos people who really, really should not be thought of like that

oh my god wait what if smallville clex, and the series starts how it always does, and lex is picking up on all these Hints that there's something not right with clark that clark isnt telling him, BUT

the hints are more vague this time and. lex, being a semi-open bisexual from metropolis, goes "oh i know exactly what's going on here. this boy is gay and repressed in smallville" and he starts doing everything in his power to (extremely gently, if you force open a clam you kill it) get clark kent to come out.

he's got clark sitting there sweating, and eventually clark freaks out and confesses I'M AN ALIEN!!!!!

while lex is there looking shocked holding a "gay is ok" cake

SMALLVILLE SEASON ONE

kind of insane that our first major look into deep down what are the biggest wishes clark kent has that he doesn't let himself acknowledge or act on and the answer is wearing nice fashionable clothes and living in a city penthouse with lex luthor. and this is because he's gay.

no offense but reading is literally the cure to brain rot and there’s no work around to reading books

not to be an augustus stan but imagine spending all your life building a legacy of lies no one knows who you actually are no one can see beyond the mask bc you won't let them like yes you have power and wealth and the empire but what have you done to the sick little boy who found out his father won't be coming home did he ever really exist or have you erased him so thoroughly you as good as killed him. there's nothing left but you and you are a hollow shell looming over an empire dying since the day it was born

two boy best friends

Nepos, Life of Atticus §12:

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Nicolaus of Damascus, Life of Augustus §7:

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Appian, Civil Wars § 5.4.31:

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Velleius Paterculus, Roman History § 2.88.1:

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Dio Cassius, Histories § 54.31.1

agrippa voice hey octavian what if we were boy best friends and also two halves of one soul and also i was your man to the death and your most faithful follower and your lionheart and i alone understood exactly who and what you were what if i built temples and empires and everything for you what if i fit into your voids what if i suffered for you as you would never suffer for yourself what if i would always be there for you what if you reserved your innermost thoughts and desires for my ear alone what if i belonged whole and entire to you what if you had me and i was enough what if. what if

so at the Ara Pacis they sell a luminescent bust of Octavian. who. who would ever put in their home his huge ass head that SHINES IN THE DARK

friends romans countrymen. that evil twink is NOT going to fuck you

Can we talk about how Hadrian had a bust of young Octavian in his bedroom (or his private chamber, depending on the translation)? (yes it's among the household gods but still, it was Hadrian...)

Suet. Aug. 7 (transl. by J. C. Rolfe)

try not to imply that vegetables can have redemptive relationships with god???