Nicky has a book in his hands, but the words dance on the page. He can’t concentrate; can’t fix the type to the paper, not when Joe is sitting across from him, deep in his own reading, his face a study in shadow and lamplight.
It’s a familiar face. It is not that the play of light is new against the slope of Joe’s nose and the angle of his jaw, but that there is a comfort to be had in staring across the room and seeing his love again and again and again. It’s a weight in Nicky’s bones, anchoring him to his chair, pressing his feet to the floorboards, dimpling the cushion at his elbow. It’s a gladness that animates his heart, that rises and falls with the thrum of his blood, that sweeps from the top of his head to the ends of his fingers. It’s a tightening in his belly, and a tingling at the back of his neck. It is belonging and freedom and hope, this acting of sitting, this act of watching and waiting with a smile.
Joe looks up and meets Nicky’s gaze. “Two shiny dinar for your thoughts,” he says.
Nicky nods. “I was thinking of how fortunate I am.”
Joe tilts his head a fraction, smiles in understanding. “No less fortunate than me.”
It has been a long year. When Nicky lets his mind float across his memories it’s fighting he sees; fighting he remembers in the ache of his upper arms and the tension in his thighs. And yet tonight there is nothing but this – two books, two chairs, a lazy, flickering fire in the grate and shifting touches of gold in Joe’s hair.
“I am lucky to have you,” he tells Joe.
Joe sets down his book and crosses to Nicky, elbows his way between his thighs as he kneels in front of him. “It was something greater than luck that brought you to me,” he says quietly. “Something for which these many years later I still do not have a name.”
And Nicky sets his book aside, lifts his hands to frame Joe’s dear, familiar face, and leans to kiss him with an affection that is made up of every late morning, every shared meal, every letter written, every phone call made, every hand that reaches out for the other’s every time they fall.