also omg want some sad news 😞 so in my family there’s like…..a genetic history of going totally white-haired in your twenties. and guess what finally struck me this year

what is thilf??? Them I’d Like To Fuck? 

what’s a Thranduil?? is this gen z slang?

NOOOO NOT THE NICHOLAS CAGE ELF

for a solid half second I forgot hair dye was a thing & thought you were saying I could kill myself if I didnt like grey hair

ive been informed that the man above is not Nicholas Cage, but in my defence they both have eyebrows

Are you suggesting most people don’t have eyebrows?

please you have to understand

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

My favorite thing about being an archer in Skyrim is when the slow motion kill cam follows the arrow and you get to sit back and watch as it just absolutely misses the target.  

the great thing about this is that the computer has calculated that the arrow will strike the target as a critical hit, but then when the kill cam engages it changes the physics in game (I think having the arrow be the focal point rather than the player causes the formula to change) and in doing so, it can change the trajectory so dramatically that you miss. I once saved the game and tried the same shot multiple times with kill cam turned on and then off, which proved with perfect correlation that it was the camera itself that was messing up the shot

Pottery troubles

Ah, the feeling you get when you watch a blooper reel, and find yourself thinking "yeah, I could show this to someone who lived five thousand years ago, and they'd laugh, too".

pottery looks so calm and peaceful and impressively difficult and it's easy to forget that a wheel is still a power tool that demands respect

in case anyone wanted a small-scale comparatively-low-stakes illustration of why, when someplace says no loose hair and no loose clothing for safety reasons, you fucking listen

and every time we kiss i swear i could fly

where’s the rupaul tweet about stop constantly crucifying yourself we could use the wood…… did unfortunately scalp the shit out of me with that

Listen, sometimes a ship is less about wanting them to kiss or have sex or whatever, and more about needing them to be so endlessly intertwined and connected to the point where they might as well be one creature.

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

maybe i like pulling out my debit card instead of using apple pay. maybe i like untangling my wired headphones. maybe i like typing something into the search bar instead of using siri or whatever. maybe i like curating my own social media feeds over an algorithm. i just don’t think everything has to be perfectly streamlined and efficient i like it when things feel tethered to the real world.

is this ship popular because it’s legitimately compelling or is it popular because it’s the easiest to decontextualize and write college roommate AUs about?

this post broke containment and is getting ‘let people have fun and enjoy things’ comments, so i want to clarify that i hate fun and want to personally bludgeon everyone who has ever written a college roommate AU with a hammer

This trend's bastardized step-sibling where the people in question are intrinsically linked to their context and you've stripped them of all of that and for what?! one bed and a redbull all-nighter deadline?

Sick of seeing attractive gay couples on instagram. Where’s all the ugly ones, I want to feel like I have a chance

ive been illegally downloading shit like its my job since i was 10

*wishing I had read this fifteen years ago*

Second best time is now

Uh oh

But what if the only reason I make art is to show people who I am because they don’t listen to me any other way I try to do it

Then you might need to talk to a therapist instead mate because art can't do that. Art can be used to communicate an experience or to put forth a particular argument or idea, but it's not going to show people who you are. Any idea that you can put "the real you" on the page and have it received and understood properly by an audience is sheer delusion. If you think that you can be summed up by the tiny percentage of the art that you put on the page that the audience through random fortune interprets the same way you expressed it, you've got a very narrow idea of who you are.

Also, the audience isn't trying to get to know you. That's not what they came here for. If your art is really fascinating or you're really famous then a few of them might have fun puzzling out a fake you from it like someone picking over an archeological dig and inventing a story about a family who lived there, and possibly writing an essay or making a youtube video about it so other people can have their own headcanons, but that's it, and most readers aren't interested in doing that either.

Faster than a speeding bullet - More powerful than a locomotive!

I have to resurrect my tumblr from the dead for my thoughts on the new Superman movie:

THIS WAS AN AMAZING MOVIE. THAT WAS SUPERMAN.

He’s corny, he’s midwestern, he’s a nerd and everyone kind of bullies him for it. He says things like “what the hay dude” or “I’m punk rock- I’m totally punk” completely seriously. He takes several extra precious seconds to save a squirrel. He’s ready to fly headfirst into danger to save his dog because the dog’s probably “scared and all alone” even though it’s not a particularly good dog all the time. He loves his parents. He has bad band posters hanging in his childhood bedroom. He takes the time to calm a lady on a rooftop in the middle of a fight. He cares. 

As for the actual plot- it’s really difficult to make a Superman movie feel high stakes, especially while trying to keep it real. In the comics Superman gets into situations it would be nearly impossible to show on screen, like fighting in front of a black hole, but somehow this movie makes it work. James Gunn tapped into his experience making Guardians of the Galaxy and it shows in the best way possible. You find yourself wondering how in the world Superman is going to win- and that’s what makes this such an amazing superhero movie.

Superman’s true weakness isn’t kryptonite, it’s thinking and planning ahead. All the villains that beat him in the comics match his brawn, but have the brains to get an edge and have better fight strategy. All superman knows is that “people were going to die” and since he’s such an unbelievably GOOD guy, that’s all that matters to him. We saw it when the “justice gang” was helping him fight the alien monster and we saw it in Louis’s interview. When you have a superhero with barely any weaknesses, you need something more than the threat of losing a fight to make him interesting. 

Now for Lex- no notes. He was brilliantly written. It can be difficult to take his character seriously, but that speech at the end where he was screaming to be recognized because, to him, humanity’s ability to overcome odds and achieve through innovation is critical and Superman’s existence risks overshadowing that? That was deadly serious. 

Last serious note- I’m glad they kept it political. The United States government being scared of an alien and the threat of invasion despite the fact that Superman has done nothing but help them? A billionaire approaching the government to encourage foreign intervention because it will allow him to profit? A foreign power that the U.S. is officially allied to even though everyone knows they’ve committed horrible war crimes but nobody actually KNOWS that and the smaller neighbor they’re threatening to wipe out in order to “free” them from an oppressive regime? Superman declaring that he’s just like everyone else, that he’s human too and that’s his greatest strength? The idea of radical love? Yeah. 

FINAL NOTE: I think that a scene from this movie sums up what I got from it very well. It’s when Louis is talking about how Clark isn’t punk rock. She said that he trusts everyone he’s ever met and he thinks that everyone is beautiful. And he responds: “isn’t that punk rock.” He’s right. It is. And that’s Superman. 

Anyways…good movie. Go watch it.

#krypto stole the whole show