fuck it. grass on my blog for touching
The only limit on a wizards power is how fast they can clearly speak their incantations. You feel incredibly lucky. Coming from a long line of auctioneers, speaking fast and clear is your forte.
Notice of Citation for Unauthorized Use of ":3"
As you already know, we very highly regard professional conduct at this company, and in the interest of that, we limit usage of emojis (including text based glyphs) to the following:
🙂
😐
📊
📠
🤝
📈 (📉 NOT permitted)
💼
These permitted emojis, used within the reasonable bounds of no more than 3 per diem, should be more than enough to express any notion you may want to express at the office.
On probation is also:
👔
And
🖱️
Which we currently permit the usage of once per week.
Please reflect on how your use of unauthorized glyphs such as ":3" reflects poorly on our company to our business partners and associates, and damages our reputation and credibility across the board.
Accrual of further citations may result in the issuance of a mandatory summons to the Chamber.
Below is the text included in the incident report:
---
Noelle: I did what you suggested I do.
Noelle: I asked that guy if he wanted to eat midday meal together with me at the cafe on the 6070th floor.
Bridget: OMG
Bridget: SPILL THE DEETS, GIRL :3
Bridget: whatd he say????
Noelle: He said "Yes," followed by the singular allotted exclamation point and 3 smiley faces.
Bridget: HE 3 EMOJID YOU?????
Bridget: FJEJSKFKOEPSMFMFS
Bridget: girl he is HEAD OVER HEELS
Bridget: what did you say??
Noelle: I was out of emojis for the day.
Noelle: So I just said "Okay."
---
Communication Protocol Violations:
- Improper grammar and punctuation.
- Hostile disregard for proper grammar and punctuation.
- Overuse of punctuation at the end of messages.
- Usage of unauthorized emojis.
- Unauthorized acronymization.
- Usage of unknown acronym.
- Overuse and/or improper usage of capital letters.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
The masculine urge to eat food to live
The feminine urge to fucking starve and die I guess?
Yeah
I need to leave my apartment and go to work but there's a female Downy Woodpecker on my suet block pecking crumbs onto the ground where a female Carolina Wren is eating them #womensupportingwomen
But I can't leave because I would disturb them and they really need this right now (it's 3F and going to snow)
love that you respectfully drew them instead of sharing them live for the world to see 😳
I think one of the best things I learned from my last therapist was the idea that when there's a box in your mind you need to open, you don't have to open it all the way on the first try.
what I mean is that she said "you didn't deserve <bad thing that happened to you>" and I said, "I feel like I know that intellectually, but I don't really believe it deep down". and she said, "do you think you can try to believe it just a little bit, as an experiment?" and I started crying lmao
trying to change a core belief entirely all at once is scary, especially when it exists as a protective measure. try giving yourself a cheeky bit of plausible deniability! you're just dipping your toes in the water of self-esteem, you're just having a little wade! you don't have to go swimming right away, and you can always step out if you want. (but the longer you spend in the water, the more you start to understand you're actually safe there...hm, who could have predicted this...)
so that's my advice: if there's something real and true you can't seem to believe, take some time to try and really believe it just a little bit, even if you're only pretending at first. climb the staircase one step at a time instead of trying to put one foot all the way at the top!
