I feel like more disabled doms should talk about dominance and service as a way to come to terms with taking care of ourselves.

I was trained my entire life as a disabled child and now a disabled woman to always make myself and my disability smaller. I needed to take up less space, downplay my symptoms, go without the rest I need, and I most definitely learned to never complain or demand attention, never to be too exhausted for too long, or else I’d get on people’s nerves.

Having a service pup has been such a game changer though. So many submissives DESPERATELY WANT to make our lives easier as dominants, to care for us, to be useful in a really tangible way. So… I let my submissive do it. I let him be my service dog.

My service pup reminds me to rest when I need it and offers to get up and get things for me so I don’t use my sore legs. My service pup reminds me to drink water multiple times a day because he knows I get dizzy when I don’t. My service pup reminds me to take up space and demand respect from those around me and threatens to bite those who won’t give it. My service dog is strong and I know he’s being serious when he says he’d carry me in his arms up every set of stairs in every building that doesn’t have an elevator.

If you’re a disabled dom and your service submissive acts as a disability aid I’d love to hear more of you talk about it!! And if you’re a disabled dom and you’ve been scared to let someone in to such a vulnerable part of you, I really recommend asking a sub you trust to learn some tasks for you :p

To any phys disabled person going through a flare right now:

It’s okay that you’re doing less, sleeping more, or not socializing as much. It’s okay to rest, and it’s so okay to sleep. Sleep heals, and it’s one of the best ways to help your body recover through it. It’s okay to need extra help to get things done— from cooking to cleaning, to bathing.

You are not lazy, you are not weak, you are not being dramatic or a baby, you are not a bad friend/partner, and you not failing.

You have survived this before, and you will again. This feels hard because it is hard, but not impossible. Resting isn’t a weakness, but a tool to help you recover. It is healing, and one hundred percent necessary. You are worthy of love no matter what state you are in. I hope this eases for you soon. Please take care.

- someone in a week ½ long flare

when i made a post for people with psychosis. which, let's be honest, barely counts as a positivity post when I'm just demanding you include them in your activism. i got a slew of dedicated anons trying to trigger a psychotic episode in me (which i deleted). there was backlash against such a mild, lukewarm post even in the notes. and most of the people agreeing with it also generalised it to include other stigmatized conditions. which, i agree that people with other conditions also need to be included, but it is in some respects somewhat frustrating. because it feels like people aren't really addressing the ableism and saneism that people with psychosis face. that including them becomes another checklist on being a good disability advocate and that there hasn't been sincere introspection about psychotic disabled people and how we can protect them in our community. do you understand. i asked for an iota of respect for people with psychosis and instead i got anons trying to trigger a psychotic break in me, assuming that it's a condition i have. that can be so dangerous for people with psychosis. they're vulnerable to being triggered by malicious actors and, like many disabled people, their symptoms can easily be used to relentless abuse them. and for what? merely mentioning the existence of psychosis and someone wanted to trigger something that could seriously harm or kill a person? with the comfort of their anonymity people online are relentlessly cruel to people with psychosis. actually consider how we can protect our fellow disabled people, understand their reality, and include them in our communities and try not to just pay lip service to it. next time you think unreality warnings are silly or someone should get the obvious joke (which is straight up saying things contradictory to reality) without someone giving up the bit to reassure them, remember that a mere mention of this condition was enough for someone to try and destabilise my entire worldview and mental health. because they thought that they could.

Btw shout-out to disabled people who feel sexual attraction but can't have sex or masturbate. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because it hurts. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because they're dependant on a caregiver. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because they're deemed "too mentally immature". Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because they would be bedridden for days if not weeks on end. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex because they can't get into the right positions. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex because once their partner finds out they're disabled they refuse. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex because they can't go out to meet people.

Disabled people are not your uwu sexless perfect babies or broken people incapable of sexual pleasure. We deserve to be talked about in all aspects of life and the fact we aren't taught sex ed besides from an able bodied and able mental standpoint is genuinely god awful. No one talks Abt this and we deserve to be seen

Certified Sex Ed Post!

It’s very interesting to me how abled LGBT+ people are very much against performative activism by billion dollar companies and say that the companies only care about what happens to them financially, but they don’t care about the effect that these actions will have on queer people. Everything about that is valid and true, but it shouldn’t be that surprising when a big chain store pulls merchandise at the first threat from someone who has nothing better to do than be homophobic for a living.

But then go ahead and host for the second year in a row since 2021, an open, unmasked super spreader pride parade. You are openly hurting queer disabled people by hosting and attending these avents that have zero COVID precautionary measures or safety plans in use. There are no mask mandates, no sanitizing stations, and instead of showing that you do care about crippled queers (you don’t) you tell us to just “stay home” or “risk it anyway if you want it that badly”. Which means you don’t want us in the same place as you, you’d prefer it that way. We know.

Make it make sense. You’re either angry for the performative activism for every queer, or you’re very much tied into the exact ideation as straight/cis person who doesn’t care about “some” queer people— except with an ableist core.

a person with chronic illness saying “I wish I could ravish you right now I’m just very tired” is extremely sexy and romantic

something that i think everyone sleeps on is using positioning and support items during sex. shoutout to thigh/hand straps. to positioning pillows. to doggy style support straps. to toy mounts. thank you for making sex more accessible

Shoutout to all the disabled/chronically ill kinky people!

To the people who can't do "stereotypically" kinky things or have to change things to accomodate themselves and/or their partner(s)!

To the people who can't kneel because of chronic pain or joint issues.

To the people who can't be tied up because of sensory problems, or circulation issues, or because they get dislocations easily.

To the people who need mobility aids/braces/accessibility tools during sex.

To the people who use masturbation and sex as pain relief!

To the people who have a high sex drive but not the energy or ability to follow it!

To the people who have a low sex drive due to pain, medication, mental health etc!

Feel free to add to the list!

chronic pain is kicking my ass can someone please brutally fuck me into the floor until i'm sobbing so i can at least justify why my entire body hurts xx

I have a few mystery (undiagnosed and untreated) physical disabilities/illnesses that have been progressing and it's been really exhausting. Especially because I can't see a doctor for all of my symptoms at once because certain ones have been taking priority in their severity. I'm always like "oh well I don't really want to call them disabilities if they haven't been professionally diagnosed yet" but I have had a doctor agree with me twice on what I suspected was the issue however because of circumstances it wasn't within his power to diagnose me.

The other doctors I had seen for it told me everything looked fine and didn't want to do further evaluations even though my symptoms have continued to advance as well as couple with another potential condition. Recently I saw a doctor for another different problem and I've had to put that on hold because of yet another health problem that has taken precedence (I might be epileptic).

I'm so tired of being so ill I can't function and seeing doctors that don't believe me or downplay the severity of my condition.

But that leads me to the sex part of this post. It's actually more sweet than sexy, but still.

Being (probably, almost definitely) physically disabled with someone else who is also physically disabled is an amazing experience because there's so much understanding and compassion.

Especially because I'll have flare ups when we're having sex and she will do everything she can to make sure I'm okay and safe, even if we have to stop or take a break. On the flip side, getting massages for your mystery muscle and joint pain can be really sexy lol. It's another level of love and I appreciate it so much. I also do take care of her, don't get me wrong, but a lot of my physical conditions tend to be more prevalent.

I just feel so understood and loved <3

It can be really hard when you cant have “normal” sex

Whether its due to disabilities, dysphoria, physical limits, trauma, or any other reason it can make you feel limited and isolated

​(reblog if you relate and/or are okay with people who have to have “weird” sex)

Yearning for something soft again. Maybe it’s the chronic pain but I can’t help imagining sleepily laying face down while somebody carefully massages my back and my shoulders and the back of my neck, enjoying the softness of my skin and gently kissing it as they do so. Maybe we fuck nasty after.

i was dancing with a butch at a bar and i hooked my cane around his back to pull him closer and he made the CUTEST little gasp sound

I'm going through a really bad pain flare up rn and honestly I think it would be so nice and help so much if someone was just gentle and tender and loving with me and like took their time feeling my body, stopping to massage the most painful spots maybe, covering me in little kisses all over and really just focusing on making me feel good

I think that might fix me (I know it won't but it would make things more bearable)

need to see more horny posts involving people in wheelchairs. some of us are whores too. maybe i want to be choked with one of my safety straps while my owner leaves his teeth marks in my skin. maybe i want to feel my back pressed firmly against the cushions while he pounds into me. or uses my sitting position to face fuck me since his body is noticeably tall compared to my small body, especially when sitting. maybe strapping my legs apart to watch me cockwarm a dildo or watch my boycunt drip while a vibrator overstimulates my insides. let's get creative !