conversations overhead through the batkid com lines pt. 33 (masterpost here)

Bruce: 7'oclock, two runners.

Damian: on it. you can handle this place?

Bruce: i have it under control, just get the cargo.

Damian: sir yes sir!

Bruce: *sigh* you spend too much time with your brothers.

*ping*

Dick: B, TELL JASON-

*ping*

Jason: BRUCE GET YOUR FUCKING SON OFF HIS DELUSIONAL PERCH-

Dick: -I WAS A GOOD BIG BROTHER AND HE'S A DRAMATIC PIECE OF-

Jason: -FUCKING HIMSELF ON A GARGOYAL DICK SO HARD HE CAN'T REMEMBER HOW SHIT HE WAS AT-

Dick: -LYING SACK OF- WHAT?!

Jason: YOU HEARD ME!

Bruce: ENOUGH. no- not you, sorry i'll keep fighting you in a minute- it's my sons- right, you two.

*silence for three seconds*

Dick: HE-

Jason: NO, HE-

Bruce: oh my god-

Dick: TELL HIM that i was a GREAT big brother when he was Robin. WE GOT ON LIKE A HOUSE ON FIRE- LIKE- TOWARDS THE END AT LEAST-!

Jason: oh, *blows raspberry* don't give me that shit.

Bruce, tired: boys. *sigh* Hood, he wasn't that bad; can you-

Jason, instantly: you know he tried to get me institutionalised once? like, a month before i went to Ethiopia.

Bruce: -just- *pause*

Bruce: fucking what.

Dick: UM.

Damian: woah woah woah, hold on. expand on this.

Bruce: Robin get back to work- what are you talking about Hood?

Jason: he fucking- that weekend you had to go out of the city with Alfred so you called Dick over to watch me until you got back? i told him that his shirt looked gay and he drove me over to a mental health rehab. tried to convince the psychiatrist that i was a danger to others.

Damian: you have killed quite a lot of people,

Jason: shut the fuck up Damian.

Bruce: *incredulous* Nightwing?!

*a beat*

*ping*

Jason: YEAH THAT'S WHAT I FUCKING THOUGHT DICKFACE, YOU FUCKING DISCONNECT-

Bruce: ok get out of my channel both of you. yeah- sorry, i know, i'm not ignoring our fight i'll be right there-

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

Jason todd angst hours

*sees that one of my bookmarked fics has been deleted* they say that life is loss, but the losses persist in a neverending tale of misery that even life seems incapable of committing to

In the afterlife, souls can see how many living people still know you once existed. You, who had lived a fairly normal life, finally saw the count drop to 0 just 200 years after your death. 500 years later, 95% of the Earth’s total population suddenly knows about you.

ok but DID I come back wrong, or did you build up an idealized version of me in your head that was easy to love while I was dead? but now that I'm real and alive and complicated again, you resent me for not being as simple and compliant as a mere memory?

do you resent me for coming back "wrong," or for coming back at all?

there was a point in Gotham where the nightlife dynamics got really weird because one of the batkid’s came up with the game ‘rogue Pokémon’ where whenever there was a multiple-rogue outbreak they would all split up and find a rogue to choose as their own, and then while fighting them they’d subtly heard them towards one of the other batkids and their chosen rogue, and then they’d manipulate the rogues into fighting each other while they stood to the side and yelled fighting techniques like Pokémon trainers, and eventually the rogues started teaming up with Batman to make them stop playing it because it was making them feel objectified and demeaned.

the game came to a natural conclusion when the Joker broke out specifically because he thought it would be fun to be one of the Pokémon used by the batkids, except when he made himself known to Red Hood Jason just shot him point blank in the skull and said it was the rogue Pokémon equivalent of using a masterball on him.

the batkids are banned from creating their own games.

Batman animation yayy 🙌👍

i didn't say it was good, i said it has bewitched me body and soul