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theres NONE left. i drinked it all

Its so funny being a person who loves to chat but never knows what to talk about. I feel like Hi Can we play staring and breathing together.

don't neglect your female blorbos. put HER in the torment nexus. give HER some old lady yuri. ship HER with everyone under the sun

The masculine urge to eat food to live

not my circus however the monkeys appear to be holding me hostage

normal nightmares, can i have ONE normal nightmare ffs

yanked from slumber by a dream wherein the corporate solution to "the people churn yearn for fresh butter" was "let's bioengineer a miniature cow that people can keep in their refrigerator's butter cubicle where it will regularly poop out fresh butter" (???)

of course that's not how cows work at all, so instead they mutated a sea slug until it was black and white and vaguely cow shaped, self-regenerating, and creamy & delicious. then they pre-sliced that fucker (still alive) and sold it as this season's Can't Fucking Believe It's Not Butter!

all of which i found out (in the dream) when i walked into a grocery store dairy aisle and was faced with row upon row of squirming, writhing, silently-screaming supine slug-cows mooing in slug-agony

so yeah, i miss normal nightmares 👎

gotta look something up

I'm sorry WHAT

He WHAT

"you learn something new every day" is a threat actually

im sure this screenshot has been posted before, but it's one of my favorite poems of all time

I remember one time I was doing an ADHD evaluation with a kid who had asked to go to the bathroom like 3 times during the 30-ish minute part of the interview where we asked his mom questions, so I knew that was his go-to excuse when bored. We get started on the WISC-V after the interview and within 30 seconds of vocab starting he asks if he can go to the bathroom, and I say:

“No.”

And this kid rolls his eyes because DUH and he says “Why not?” all cranky-styles, so I said

“Because you don’t need to go to the bathroom, you’re bored and you need to move. If you need to move, tell me and I’ll let you know if we’re at a part of the test where we can pause. Like, for example, we can pause right now if you wanna race me around the building.”

And this kids face fucken LIT up. We did three laps around the outside of the building and came back in and he finished like 3 subtests and asked if he could move so we got up and tried to see how high we could jump for 3 minutes and the finished the rest of the assessment with one bathroom break. And that was all it took tbh, this kid was SO capable he just needed to move and hadn’t been allowed to do so before. I also like making people mad by pointing out that I know what they’re up to, then just giving them permission to do the thing they were sneakily trying to do in the first place. It’s like being affectionately annoying and it’s part of how I connect to others.