the juxtaposition between Jason "I died in an explosion trying to save innocent civilians from Joker and my body was so battered Bruce could barely carry it out" Todd and Dick "I lightly fell on a tiny rock ever so slightly wrong and somehow managed to break my entire neck and die instantly before anyone could say anything" Grayson is...there's something to dig into there, but I can't quite put my finger on it
Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.
What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?
βThis is the best day of my life.β
βBro really thought he ate with that.β Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. βThis is level 10 cringe. Canβt have shit in Gotham.β
Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.
β
βHey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.β
What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.
What comes out instead, through Bruceβs grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, βNot you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.β
Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.
β
βChat, is this real?β
Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. βI think he just asked us if we copied.β
βI wish I was Jason, 15.β
β
βThis is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.β He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesnβt seem to work.
Damian gives him a pat like heβs a pitiful cat. βIβll only stab the non lethal areas.β
βGod, I wish that were me.β
Bruce has a strict 'no metas/powers (except duke) allowed in Gotham' policy in place but it has a clause, BYOR (Bring Your Own Robin)
No one is allowed entry untill and unless they can produce their very own certified robin-shaped identity card
Whenever someone with even a hint of supernatural powers in them arrives at Gotham, they're first met with Bruce standing at the city border with a notepad in hand
Bruce: State your name and purpose.
Kon: Kon-el, here to hangout!
Bruce: Your Robin?
Kon, flourishing Tim from behind him: Ta-Da!
Tim, waves: Hey Bruce
Bruce: Approved, you may enter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bruce: Name and purpose?
Hal: Here to investigate a case, Hal Jordan
Bruce: Your Robin?
Hal: I.... don't have one?
Bruce: Denied
Hal: What?! But-
Bruce: Denied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bruce: Yes, Wally, where's your robin?
Wally: Oh shit lemme just- *zaps away and returns with Dick, who was in the midst of brushing his teeth, in a bridal carry*- Here!
Bruce, grumbling a little: Fine. Approved.
Dick: You gotta stop using me as a key already, man
Wally: Blame Bruce.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bruce: Name and purpose?
Clark: Clark Kent, here for our monthly barbecue
Bruce: Robin?
Clark, producing an actual robin bird: Does this count?
Bruce:.....yes





