they should make a website like Tumblr but instead of posts everyone who logs on gets fifty dollars and you can log on multiple times per day you can just log on whenever you want and you get $50 each time

hey sorry. can you stand a little further back and we try again

oh my bad

i’d be really bad at being a male celebrity’s girlfriend (aside from the fact that i’m not a girl) because if people were thirstposting about him/being jealous of me publicly online i would just tweet out something like “you all can look as much as you want but i’m the only one who gets to put stuff in his butt” and then turn off my phone

*sandwich voice* the world is vast and beautiful and i have a sandwich

*wiggles fingers* balicazam!! Your sandwich is now yarn

idk what you did and normally i wouldn't complain but my sandwich has straight up vanished as if by dark magic

im not even joking my sandwich is gone and i am fucking pissed

motherFUCKER i bet i lost it on the railway tracks

ok im on a train right now. so what happened is I was rushing with my precariously-stacked luggage with my sandwich on the top. and unfortunately it was a vertical sandwich (baguette) and i didn't tie the plastic baggie shut. fucker slid right out of its wrapper

somewhere in this train station is a single perfect naked sandwich lying peaceably on the ground

MOTHERFUCKER I WAS RIGHT i lost it wheeling my luggage (jostling) across the tracks. i can see it from the fucking window. it's just sitting there, taunting me

the train leaves in 5 min, I'm already in my seat, and as stated the sandwich is lying buttnaked on the train tracks.

i still kinda wanna run and get it tho

fuck it im gonna

GOT MY FUCKEN SAMMICH

it's always "gaud i thought you were doing a bit" and "gaud did you seriously risk missing a train & losing your luggage over a dirt sandwich" and "gaud don't eat a sandwich off the ground." never "how was the dirt sandwich, did you enjoy the dirt sandwich, was the dirt sandwich good???"

So, was the dirt sandwich good?

eh it was just ok

"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"

"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"

"-but you can trust me when I say-"

"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"

"I don't care for you at all."

"Well, I… oh… I love you too."

i dont make comics often but this was too cute.

If being trans masc was actually some brilliant hack to gain access to all the privileges and violence of patriarchy, there would actually be trans mascs in positions of power and celebrity

Which, as you may fucking notice, there are fucking not

New rule before you can comment on the privilege trans mascs have, you have to name three famous trans mascs who aren't Elliot Page

(Who, by the way, has been in drastically fewer things since he came out as trans while filming The Umbrella Academy in 2020, only one of which is live action/actually has him appearing on screen. He literally went from averaging 3-4 roles each year to 1.5 (x). Just look at allllllll that privilege)

I'll wait.

If trans men are wielding soooooo much power and privilege - if trans men are more or less positionally equivalent to cis men - why has only a single trans man ever openly held elected office in the US at the state level or higher??? vs. over a dozen trans women and three or four nonbinary people, for that matter! (x, x)

Where is the systemic privilege we're accused of holding? Where are we rewarded for becoming men? Where is our masculinity rewarded? Where are we enacting all this societal and legislative power over women, whether cis or trans?

It's not there because we don't fucking have it, and I genuinely do not know how so many people seem to have become convinced that we do, in contrast to literally every piece of evidence and common sense in actual reality

Expectation:

Reality:

Dorsal Light Response - a reflex that causes insects to turn their backs towards a light source to orient themselves during flight.

BREAKING: 21-year-old protester, Kaden Rummler, was shot point-blank in the face by ICE. he just spoke about how he’s blind for life and almost died:

“I will be blind for life. I have fractures in my skull that they can't fix. They pulled a piece of plastic the size of a nickel out of my eye. I had shards of metal, glass, and plastic behind my eye and in my skull. They said it was a miracle I survived.”

What the hell is wrong with these people?

GoFundMe for Kaden Rummler, the young trans man blinded by ICE agents this week.

Fundraiser for K R by Sarah Gallimore : Help ICE Protestor After being shot by Feds

To make it more fair for the mozzarella sticks.

I’m trying to get the boys I coach to stop saying “I’m gonna kms” after every little inconvenience (it’s my fault tbh) and last night my goalie missed an easy shot and screamed he’s gonna run away to Africa, become a National Geographic photographer and win the Wildlife Photographer of the Year award.

Turns out that’s actually what he wants to do. And I love that he replaced ending his life with his dreams for his future. Like yes, this inconvenience sucks but I will persist anyway.

Young people don’t know when I joined this website a decade and a half ago we used to have to walk to the post button and back and it was uphill both ways

Everyone in the notes being like oh yeah the reblog button used to be at the top of the post and you had to scroll back to the top I forgot about that I was just shit posting 😭 how could I forget after my first reblog of Colors of the sky

The court jester has arrived

Tell us a joke little guy!

This post may make some people uncomfy, especially people who have never had to rely on public services to survive. I don’t care.

Government workers need to face much much harsher social and legal consequences for ableism. No exceptions.

I am including bus drivers, transit staff, clerks, caseworkers, and anyone else whose job is to interact with the public in an official capacity.

This is a pattern of behavior where disabled people are treated as inconveniences, liars, burdens, or problems instead of people accessing services they are legally entitled to.

When a bus driver blows past a disabled person because it is inconvenient to deploy a ramp, that is not rudeness. That is denying access to transportation.

When a driver yells at or even just speaks down to someone for taking too long to board, or for needing clarification, or for not moving or standing “correctly,” that is not impatience.

it is harassment backed by institutional power.

When disabled people are humiliated, stranded, made late for work, denied medical appointments, or put in unsafe, scary, or embarrassing situations because a government worker decided they were annoying or not worth the effort, the damage is real and cascading.

Here is a thing we need to acknowledge:

Disabled people cannot opt out of these systems!

You can quit a job with a shitty coworker. You can leave a bad store. You cannot choose to stop needing transportation, healthcare access, benefits offices, or public infrastructure.

These workers are not just random individuals in your life. They are gatekeepers to survival resources.

Which is why I do not give one single solitary shit about the argument that “they are just people too” as a shield against accountability.

No, they are not ‘just people’. They are people acting with the authority of the state.

If a random stranger is ableist to me, that sucks.

If a government worker is ableist to me, that can cost me my job, my housing, my health, or my safety.

Those are not comparable.

I think we need to stop treating ableism from ALL government workers as a minor customer service issue and start treating it as what it is;

A complete and total civil rights violation.

If a bus driver repeatedly refuses to accommodate or be kind to disabled riders-

(yes! including invisible disabilities! Bus drivers should be seen and not heard unless someone is causing a true violent outburst! and no I don’t mean a mentally ill person being a little verbally disruptive, I mean actual physical or verbal outright threats or racism etc)

-they should not just get a slap on the wrist or a “retraining.”

They should be suspended or fired, and if a re-occurring pattern of this behavior exists, there should be severe legal consequences that forbid them from working a government job or any job where they may be working with vulnerable disabled people again.

Because right now the burden is almost entirely on disabled people to document, report, appeal, relive the harm, and hope someone believes them.

And most of the time nothing happens anyway!

We are told to be patient. To be understanding. To remember that the system is underfunded and understaffed.

Meanwhile disabled people are expected to plan their lives around the assumption that they will be mistreated, doubted, or punished for existing in public.

That is structural ableism being enforced and reinforced by individuals who know there will be no real consequences.

If your job is a public facing government role and you cannot treat people, not even just disabled people, all people, because you cannot tell who is disabled, with baseline dignity and respect, you should not have your government job.

This is not radical. This is the bare minimum.

Accessibility is not a favor. It is not optional. It is not something you get to decide is “too much today.”

I am tired of watching disabled people like me absorb endless harm while everyone else rushes to protect the feelings and job security of the people doing the harm.

If the state empowers you, the state should also hold you accountable. Fullstop, end of story.

H2O just add water but it's 40 year old office worker Dave

I just want Dave to feel appreciated…. 🥺

"hogwash" still one of the best words ever. this shit is so unbelievable its pig water