theinternetarchive:
theinternetarchive:
print disabled access and the internet archive
to access books on the IA that have lost public rights (aka most of them) all you need to do is this:
fill out this self-reporting form, where it asks if you have a disability and are thus eligible for print disabled access.
what this form asks is if you have ever had accommodations during schooling, if you are mentally ill, have a physical disability, etc. and you submit it and in a few days you get access.
they do not ask for any sort of documentation or information, just say ‘i’m disabled’…they want to give it to you.
This isn’t stealing disabled resources or whatever btw. It’s a loophole they came up with after a lawsuit a few years back that said books couldn’t be publicly available to everyone (for copyright reasons). They want you to exploit this system because they wanted things to be free in the first place. The only downside is you can’t download pdfs directly and to download the epub you need conversion software. The in browser reader is really manageable tho ! Especially with an archive.org account where you can bookmark/list/favorite.
deskgirl:
20dollar-egl:
So a while back, McCall’s put out this pretty decent commercial pattern for making lolita fashion. I’ve now made almost all views of the pattern (View D is a rectangle so I have not made that as I am already very well experienced in the realm of rectangles). View A (jumperskirt) is very good and view C (blouse) is also very good. YMMV on the skirt; I didn’t like it.
Sadly, like all of the Cosplay by McCall’s patterns, this one is out of print, and people are asking for like $90 for this pattern on the secondhand market. So, until someone scans all the pattern pieces and the instructions and zips them into a folder and sticks it on a google drive, this pattern will sadly be inaccessible to most people.
Bummer.
@thebestworstidea and @wordswithkittywitch
so we go from one extreme to the other where the person you love most scares you more than anything else ever will
i’m afraid that maybe i was never happy with him, that for six and a half years i never knew what it was supposed to feel like to be happy in a relationship.
i’m afraid of staying with him and trying to be happy again, but finding out i can’t be, and by then it being too late not to irreparably hurt him.
i’m afraid i’m going to decide i’m not happy with him, and that i’ll have to go and once i’m gone, once i can’t go back again i’ll realize i was wrong.
i’m afraid i’ll go be with her and for awhile i’ll be happy, but that the nights awake and the incessant self-loathing in her nothing really ever alleviates will burn me out and it’ll exhaust me and i’ll grow to resent her for it.
i’m afraid that no matter what i do i’ll hurt both of them so deep they’ll never be able to look at me again and i’ll hurt myself so bad i won’t want to exist and that i’ll regret everything i ever had with either of them because i did this to them, i did this to me and i can’t have both of them but i can’t have just one of them, either.
on the one hand, i’ve been with my fiance for over six years and engaged to him for a little over four. it’s taken me that long to question or even really think about whether i’m with him because i really love him or of i’m with him because he was the first and only person to pay any attention to me at all.
he’s always been really quiet. He’s not really emotional at all unless the emotion is anger or depression, and his response to my emotions, when they’re solicited, tends to be with logic that’s probably true but impossible to swallow in my heightened emotional state, or no response at all
and lately the lack of responsiveness has worn on me /a lot/. if he’s upset with me or unhappy about something i said or did he doesn’t tell me until weeks or months later, when his moodiness escalates so much he shuts himself in the dark in our bedroom and won’t respond to me whatsoever, presumably to keep himself from rashly or angrily saying something that might upset me more. But I /need to know/ what’s bothering him so i can /fix it/, or at the very least address it, and his reticence to tell me anything makes me all the more terrified, sometimes to the point of near-hysteria.
his lack of inclination to share what he’s feeling or even say anything at all is something i’ve been aware of since the beginning, and it’s never been this big of an issue before because i’d always had friends around all through college that i could be around to let off steam when i needed to. I didn’t need to tell him the things that bothered me because i had my roommates to talk to and they’d make me feel better or at least a little more able to deal with whatever was on my shoulders. If he didn’t want to talk to me about what weighed on him then i didn’t want to burden him with mine, too, if dealing with things on his own was the way he operated best.
i chose what graduate program to enroll in on the basis of whether or not the school was in or near Chicago and would pay my tuition, specifically so i wouldn’t have to go months at a time without seeing him. But when i moved out here, he became my only real human contact. I have no friends at loyola, and currently have only one friend in the state of illinois that wasn’t one of his friends first. And I got really depressed.
whenever i had to be without him for stretches of time, summers at home from college or weeks in grad housing during my first year at loyola i’d turn to internet friends to take the edge off the loneliness. and for awhile that was enough. but as their and my interests would fluctuate so would our friendships. Most of the relationships i forged with people online felt close for awhile and then waned as interests changed, and i always felt like a transient with no one to turn to for emotional support.
it was like this all through the fourth and fifth years i’d been with my fiance, and i’d long since gotten it into my head that his stresses at his job were far more pressing than whatever emotional concerns i could demand from him, and he didn’t need me adding to the weight on his shoulders. so i did everything i could to carry it on my own.
i don’t know when or how not wanting to add to his stress became the terror i have of inconveniencing him that i have now. somewhere along the line anything i’d have to do that he wasn’t otherwise involved in but still required some kind of effort on his part became something i’d dread, especially anywhere i needed to ask him to drive me. i have always known how much he hates to drive.
i also don’t know when fear of inconveniencing him started to encompass having to ask him multiple times what he was doing or if he felt okay, just to show interest in his hobbies or concern if he seemed more quiet than usual. but it did. getting non-vague information out of him has always taken the same question asked at least a couple of times before he’d respond, but somewhere it began to feel even more difficult than usual, and somehow it snowballed into feeling exponentially harder the way it does now.
i’m financially dependent on an emotionally unfulfilling relationship and my emotionally fulfilling relationship is exhausting
i love them both but i can’t leave either of them and i have no idea how long i can live this way
