Showering together just to stand there kissing under the hot water >>>>

awesome news, everyone!!

you can give me 2 HUNDRED kissies. now. if youd like

We gotta stop treating all viewpoints as equal because some of us aren’t even interacting with the same reality at this point

#BelieveWomen

He gets up like nothing happened . he doesn't even care

You can pinpoint the exact moment he turns to liquid

all angels are perverts. every single one of them. they're creatures born from purity so they can't help but be intrigued by the impure. you can't blame them for peeking at you when you're changing and touching you and touching themselves while watching you sleep

(at the art museum) lol come on now that one's CLEARLY ai. clocks don't melt like that

@kittybroker

horrible nasty biter up to no good again it seems! Get this cruel pair for only $22.44 now!

debating if it would be funnier to have a bumper sticker saying "my other ride is a [exact make and model of the car the sticker is on]" or "my other ride is a [equally shitty but different car]"

2008 Honda Civic with the bumper sticker "My other ride is a 2007 Honda Civic"

This post has found its target market

holy fuck twin boo boo horn attack instant fatality

Sex with a condom? Actually I’d rather have sex with a woman

So i played Undertale.

The demo at least. Was fun, until I saw how the community was similar to homosuck. Immediately uninstalled.

Security guard discourse is a complex topic for me because one the one hand, yeah, a lot of them are wannabe cops, but on the other hand, I know from repeated experience that some folks will stroll past a dozen warning signs, climb over a clearly hazard-marked barrier, and cheerfully walk dick-first into a wood chipper and genuinely be taken by surprise at this outcome unless there's someone stationed right there to personally tell them to fuck off, so.

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

For context

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!