It’a so funny when people get upset over being called “able-bodied” because you just know what they’re really upset about is not being called “normal.”
“Why do we have to label everyone?” when what they really mean is, “no, you’re the freak, I’m normal.”
Anyway, you can’t begin to imagine the gasket they blow when you start calling them “temporarily abled.”
“Are you threatening me?”
At this point? Yes.
Is this the same reason people freak out when you call them “cis”? I haven’t been able to figure that one out.
Likely. I’ve seen similar backlash to use of the term “allo” to describe “not asexual,” and “goyim” for “not jewish.”
It’s marked vs unmarked language.
“Table” is an unmarked term, when someone reads or hears the word they envision their default normal unremakable table.
“Operating table” is a marked term. This is a special kind of table that’s different from the default table, and we have to use the word “operating” to point out that it’s not the normal table you were otherwise thinking of.
People don’t flip out about “dining table” because they don’t think of operating tables as badwrong outliers and just accept that normal default tables sometimes have to be differentiated from other sorts.
“Person” is an unnmarked term, the default normal unremarkable person is abled, cis, etc.
Terms like “trans person” and “disabled person” describe how that person differs from the default.
“Abled person” and “cis person” concede that sometimes we have to point out the default itself to differentiate it from other types of person. These terms acknowledge that a disabled person and a trans person can be the focus of attention or subject of conversation in a way that positions them as normal and acceptable and commonplace and that we might have to clarify that that we’re talking about the default.
And people who’re wrapped up in the idea that there are two groups, “person” and “unusual kind of person” get all twitchy when the outgroup becomes usual enough that what they think is just a “person” needs a bit of description of clarification.
The same thing in the other direction is happening when someone gets upset that a word like “man” or “woman” includes queer men and women.
No one minds “table” by itself to describe an operating table in a context where you don’t need to specify, because they’re chill with the idea of operating tables being tables.
But if someone things that the default man or woman is cis and straight, they’ll act like they’re being lied to when someone is simply a “man” or a “woman” without it being specified that he’s gay and she’s trans.
Ditto ethnicity.
Someone might not be so overtly ableist, antisemitic, transphobic, etc. to outright say that a disabled woman is not a woman or a jewish man is something other than a man, but they want the deviation from their norm to be more important than the term that is being marked or unmarked.
hello physically disabled person reading this. it is not your fault that your medical supplies are made from a lot of single use plastic and you can continue using them guilt free. your health comes first. thank you for existing.
if your insulin pump has lithium batteries and the tubing is plastic,
if your ostomy bags, incontinence supplies, and sanitary wipes are single-use,
if your joint replacement, bone plate, pins & screws, or spinal hardware is cobalt & chrome,
if your meds come in a plastic container you can’t recycle or reuse for sterility,
you are still innocent. you didn’t choose this particular life. we all must do what we can to survive and that includes using technology and consuming resources. it is only human and we all do it.
some people out there own several yachts and don’t ever consider the impact it has on the world. there’s nothing to be gained by beating yourself up for doing the bare minimum for a comfortable, livable, safe & long life.
Just want to add, don’t cut corners. Don’t risk your life when there are people who could do a lot more without risking theirs.
Don’t reuse the syringe. Don’t use cloths over alcohol swabs. Choose the battery powered device over the rechargeable if it means you can carry spares. Don’t use the reusable container if you can’t get it open. Don’t choose the reusable option if you can’t keep it clean. Don’t overfill the sharps container. Don’t improvise the tourniquet. Don’t eat the expired food if you can’t afford to be sick. Don’t choose the sustainable option if it doesn’t meet your needs.
Your life is not others’ priority so it has to be yours.
not to sound like a christian facebook mom but some of yall need to have grace in your hearts for the people in your lives or the people you pass once on the road and never see again like you literally need to stop assuming the worst of everyone and their intentions it is poisoning your brain. you can be careful and responsible without being a miserable person. it is possible i promise
ALT
you are a tar pit and you live this way because you choose to.
Also, if you’re a jerk to others, the percentage of jerks you interact with will be higher than if you’re not a jerk.
By being a jerk, you’re actively making your life harder and less pleasant. This is because we’re a social species, and we do this thing called “mirroring” usually unconsciously, so people tend to reflect the behavior you put out, back to you.
Also you can intentionally be kinder with people, and they’ll be kinder to you.
We are a social species depended on cooperation to survive. Altruistic behavior is actually what’s in our genetic past, far more than jerks.
A few years back, my comedian husband was at Cardiff Glee Club, waiting to perform. He’s friends with all the staff there, so he was chatting to one of the glass collectors while the audience were coming in, finding their seats, ordering drinks to their tables etc
It was a busy night, and apparently the bar and kitchen were both running a little behind. Mid conversation , a woman strode up to Steff and his friend and aggressively said “I get that you’re having a nice time, guys, but some of us are still waiting on drinks, so do you think you could do your jobs?”
Before either could answer, the bar manager materialised.
“Well, he’s a glass collector and he’s one of the acts on tonight,” she said politely, pointing them out. “So, neither of them can help you. But I’m the manager, can I help?”
(“I specified that,” the manager told Steff afterwards, “because if she’s going to be a dick, I’m going to waste her time by telling her why she’s wrong and has just been stupid before I help her.”)
“Yes,” said the woman, now gearing up to get good and annoyed to compensate for her embarrassment. “We’ve been waiting for our drinks for over half an hour! This is ridiculous!”
“I’m sorry about that,” says the manager. “We’re super busy tonight, as you can see. What’s your order number? I’ll check its status.”
The woman gave it. The manager looked it up.
“Ah,” said the manager. “I see the problem - these were ordered twelve minutes ago, but there’s currently a twenty minute wait, as you can see on the board. I’ll see what we can do to speed it up, though, and we’ll get to it as soon as we can.”
The woman grumbled and left.
The manger put her one lower in the queue.
Five minutes later, a second woman from a different group arrived.
“Sorry, it’s very possible I’m being a bother and you’ll get to it soon,” she smiled. “But I just wondered if there’s an update on our order? It’s been a while.”
“I’m so sorry,” the manager said, “we’re super busy. Let me check for you… Yes, you’re still in the queue. We’ll get to you as soon as possible, shouldn’t be long now.”
“Oh!” says the woman. “No, no worries, I just thought I’d double check to make sure we hadn’t somehow dropped off the system. Thank you!”
She left, and the manager put her one higher in the queue. When her order was made, the manager added an extra bottle of beer, and a little note that said “Sorry for the wait :)”
And I tell this tale because, the thing is… If this is typical behaviour, that first woman probably goes her whole life never quite being happy, never quite content, always missing out on free moments of human connection. By contrast, the second woman goes her life getting those little gestures, being seen that little bit earlier, having a slightly smoother time of things.
And neither probably even realises. In a thousand small ways, Second Woman has a happier time than First Woman, entirely down to their behaviour.
So yeah - act like a cunt to people, they’ll repay you in kind. That’s how it works. Your choice if you want that or not ig
Sorcery & Storytelling by a (Crippled) Bearded Frothing Madman. Elder Millennial old enough to remember when you didn't tell the internet your age.
++Nazis Are Distinctly Unwelcome++
ALT
Sorcery & Storytelling by a (Crippled) Bearded Frothing Madman. Elder Millennial old enough to remember when you didn't tell the internet your age.