I’m going to scream tonight. Please pay no mind
I don’t think I’ve ever been quiet,
Even when I was the “quiet kid”
I had just replaced my tongue with a pen
Because no one wanted to listen
I had been loud and took up space
I didn’t get why my loud was different from Tyler’s loud
We said the same dumb shit
Yet he was gratified with the gift of acceptance
Eventually, the look of disinterest when I opened my mouth
began to grind me in its teeth
4 years since anyone has known me as “quiet”
I do my best to take up space
And it's no longer just a look that haunts me
It's the low-wince in your tone
As if you're asking me why I opened my mouth
The way you hush me with your deafening silence
Like I’m some untrained child
Corners of your mouth curling to fake a light-hearted reaction
Because you smiled to cover up your disdain, I am suddenly blind to your feelings.
I was mocked long enough to know what you actually mean
When you talk with your face
I was silent long enough to know how to act around you
But here we are, I fucked up
Rather, is it what I didn’t?
Was it how I laughed at your joke?
Or did I fucking breathe in a way that displeases you?
Forgive thee, O reverend one
I will gladly take my penance
Revealing the flesh of my throat
So you may tear my larynx out with your teeth
So I may never be too loud again
Author's Note: GUYZ GUYZZ I promise I can write (I lie). It's just been a bad couple poems, I promise, when it's good, it's good, please believe me (I'm lying kinda). If you actually read allat I'm sorry, I'll do better (I hope TnT)