Girl, you made me giggle. How can I ever repay you?

Little black squash balls, Walter. This lab is where you will create little black squash balls.

(responding to getting flirted with) heh well, youre pretty sexy yaself baby, (lowers sunglasses to reveal my wicked eyes) im not feeling well, i might die soon

my bf texted me a picture of a mysterious big black roach looking bug on the floor and hasn’t answered me since… rip

you happen upon an ex-tumblr power poster who now lives on twitter. he is 30 (or nearing so), stripped of the eccentricities that illuminated his net presence when he was 19 but none of the grievances. he speaks of his hobbies, which remain unchanged from the previous decade, but with only dim enthusiasm- "was this series always this janky, or am I just noticing it now?" and so on. his vent tweets about work, relationships, friends and money punctuate his timeline in place of what would have been a joke or keen observation a decade ago. the world is confusing and frustrating to him now. things didnt work out like he thought they would. his way of living is calcifying and he worries he's losing the ability to see beyond himself. he comes close to reminiscing sometimes, about his youth, about old internet, about tumblr, before recoiling with embarassment and disgust. and yet, with similar machinations to that of jungian enantiodromia, by attempting to live the inverse of his past, he becomes testament to it. a 30 year old man who navigates life as a 19 year old boy. he feels old, and seeing him makes you almost feel old too. but you know better. you can live forever. you can live forever if you keep posting on tumblr.

banned from the pitch drop experiment for trying to guzzle that shit down