there’s art here i swear

people have this tendency to believe that fandom discourse exists because people in fandoms are Stupid Nerdy Losers, but in fact fandom discourse exists because anytime you get a group of more than 100 people together, they will start creating interpersonal bullshit. fandom is not special in this regard

There is sports discourse. There is yarn discourse. There is food discourse. There is academic discourse (dear sweet god is there academic discourse). If there are people out there collecting brass buttons specifically from 1921, they are going to have discourse about which buttons are trash and whether Person A cheated person B. To be human is to engage in pointless wankery sometimes.

oh my god I just realized this is the year people will stop being born and stop aging and stop dying

This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.

Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".

art history will be like "this is the most revolutionary painting of its time!" and you will look at it and is just a normal painting of a lady sitting under a tree and then an art historian will explain "this is the first time a painting ever used this specific shade of blue which challenged all understood conventions of how to depict light and launched a movement known as auzureism, and also the lady is looking at a sparrow which in its time it was a sign of fierce sexual liberation and it was considered scandalous" and then you find out the painter was expelled from the academy of art of stockholm because of the painting and that the king of sweeden paid three thousand marcs (equivallent to ten million dollars now a days) to have the painting in his room and the painting still looks like a generic painting of a lady under a tree

when I was like 14 I used to reblog these posts on here that were like "YOUR 20S ARE NOT AN IMAGINARY RACE YOURE DOING JUST FINE!!" just to be positive towards my older mutuals even though i didn't really get what they were abour and I'd be in the tags like "#so true!! #everyone does things at their own pace!!" and now im 24 I'm thinking back to it and it's like Oh of course the imaginary race. Which I'm losing

art books on the internet archive for you

morpho books

figure drawing for all it's worth (+ creative illustration)

framed ink

will eisner comics and sequential art

will eisner graphic storytelling and visual narrative

understanding comics (+ making comics)

folder of various animation production art

burne hogarth drawing dynamic hands

perspective for comic book artists

michael mattesi force drawing

the animator's survival kit

color and light james gurney

be free

being on T is driving me crazyyyyy im so excited but also so impatient about it i need to talk about it. i just took my second dose and im so anxious even though i know nothing will happen immediately but i want it toooo. ok first of all the thing that has been stressing me out is the fact that my doctor only prescribed me one shot a month, and im worried thats too little since everyone i've seen talk about it seems to take weekly shots? so i've scared myself into thinking either my doctor doesnt know what he's doing or is giving me too little on purpose(?) and my changes will take too long to happen because of it. i can't talk to him about it rn i'm supposed to have another appointment with him after 3 months but im not sure if my worry is justified and i should ask for more frequent doses or if one a month is perfectly normal and i'm overthinking it. oh well....

i havent heard of anyone doing one shot a month, but two a month is common. what dose is it? when i started they put me on a dose of 0.25 ml every week, at 200 mg/ml testosterone cypionate that’s 50mg every dose. there was also a point where they had me doing that same dose but every two weeks instead. ill also say i only really know folks in the US so maybe it is done differently there

i remember a doctor telling me how for younger people especially theyve moved away from two weeks and more towards weekly to help the cycle be less extreme up/down, so i would imagine a monthly dose is worse for that? unless it’s some kind of slower acting version, i feel like one shot a month will have you peaking very high very quickly and then being lower for longer before the next dose, if the amount you inject is higher to be equivalent to what you’d get on more frequent injections. if the dosage is not higher to account for the less frequent injection, then youre not getting as much T as you would otherwise.

sorry i didnt see this reply till now. my dose is 200 mg testosterone cypionate. i bought a box that comes with three vials and i think each individual vial has 200 mg in it? unless its supposed to be 200 mg total and its divided in the three shots, im not sure, it has 200 mg written in each vial. i actually know nothing about what the dosage size is supposed to be

and frustrating as it is i actually also have very little idea of how hrt works in here because ive actually had very little to not contact with like. other brazillian trans men on hrt. and almost all info i got is US based so if things work differently here i just really dont know and im not sure how to get that info. but if you agree that sounds strange i at least feel more confident in asking my doctor about it, cause i really really don't want to be getting too low a dose and have my transition slowed down because of it

okay so then you are on the same type of T i was up until i switched to pellets a little over a year ago.

Each vial is 200 mg/ml, and contains 1ml of the liquid. That means whatever number of mls you draw up to in the syringe, you are getting double that in mgs. Sorry if that seems obvious, i explain it because i used to get these numbers confused and had a few months where i was over dosing myself pretty hard.

Do you know what number you pull to on the syringe? If you are doing around 1/3 of a vial it would be something like 0.3ml, so your dose would be 60mg per monthly injection.

A pretty standard dose would be 0.25 ml per week, aka 50mg per week. A lower dose would be 0.25 ml/50mg every two weeks. 60mg per month is almost half of that low dose, and by my guess would leave you with a long cycle of T every month that could be unpleasant. I think the body can process the drug and get it all out quick enough that by weeks 3 and 4 you have very little. (i am basing this off the fact that when I had top surgery, the surgeon needed my T to be lower for blood clotting reasons so I had to stop injections two weeks before the procedure. I also had to stop injections two weeks before i switched methods as previously mentioned).

I can think of two reasons why your doctor would have started you at this dose. a) sometimes people start any medicine at a lower dose and work up to higher ones; b) some people specifically do low-dose HRT to get fewer/slower changes. However for both of these it still doesnt make sense to me to have only one shot a month rather than a lower dose per weekly shot, and both should be something discussed with the doctor.

I definitely think it is worth bringing this up to your doctor. based on what you’ve said im guessing youre not trying to low-dose it, so if this is a case of working the dose up you should be told and should ask for a timeline of when to expect dosage increases. Also just why would they have you doing only one shot a month. even at a full dose doing a monthly shot is not great bc your hormones spike super high super fast then leave you really low for the latter half of the cycle

being on T is driving me crazyyyyy im so excited but also so impatient about it i need to talk about it. i just took my second dose and im so anxious even though i know nothing will happen immediately but i want it toooo. ok first of all the thing that has been stressing me out is the fact that my doctor only prescribed me one shot a month, and im worried thats too little since everyone i've seen talk about it seems to take weekly shots? so i've scared myself into thinking either my doctor doesnt know what he's doing or is giving me too little on purpose(?) and my changes will take too long to happen because of it. i can't talk to him about it rn i'm supposed to have another appointment with him after 3 months but im not sure if my worry is justified and i should ask for more frequent doses or if one a month is perfectly normal and i'm overthinking it. oh well....

i havent heard of anyone doing one shot a month, but two a month is common. what dose is it? when i started they put me on a dose of 0.25 ml every week, at 200 mg/ml testosterone cypionate that’s 50mg every dose. there was also a point where they had me doing that same dose but every two weeks instead. ill also say i only really know folks in the US so maybe it is done differently there

i remember a doctor telling me how for younger people especially theyve moved away from two weeks and more towards weekly to help the cycle be less extreme up/down, so i would imagine a monthly dose is worse for that? unless it’s some kind of slower acting version, i feel like one shot a month will have you peaking very high very quickly and then being lower for longer before the next dose, if the amount you inject is higher to be equivalent to what you’d get on more frequent injections. if the dosage is not higher to account for the less frequent injection, then youre not getting as much T as you would otherwise.

I feel like pluribus' storytelling is so insanely effective and memorable bc it evokes some of the most disturbing and primordial human fears (your writing isn't actually that good and people are just humoring you, everyone but you is in a groupchat together and you're not invited)

I'm gonna start saying "especially non binary ppl" when talking about trans issues. Trans people are really struggling, especially non binary ppl, because we're treated like jokes and freaks in our own communities.

I'm kind of sick and tired of things being "especially" about everyone else but us

Non binary people are treated like the scapegoats of the trans community, everything is our fault. We're too loud, to assertive, too annoying, too cringe. Too out there, we are visibly trans a lot of the time, and that pisses people the fuck off because we like it and it's a part of our gender identity and expression. We are just as oppressed and face just as much violence as everyone else

#passing refers to making our transness invisible

I am NOT letting you leave this in the tags prev it is so true. Non binary people cant pass because there is no way to pass for us. Passing as ANY GENDER is getting misgendered because it means others assuming we're binary people, and we're not.

One of the first feelings of dysphoria I got was the feeling of "everyone else will perceive me as a binary gender first and there is nothing I can do about it" and I wanted to stop existing at all, to stop having a body and stop being perceived so no one would dictate my identity for me.

Non binary people arent taken seriously on our own oppression, in talking about trans issues we're an afterthought, because if they cant categorize us then they refuse to talk about us. Binary people, cis and trans, get annoyed when we add onto a conversation with our non binary perspective, when we ask to be included in their talks about trans liberation and fighting against gender essentialism. We complain too much and we're too weird and too cringe, we cant use terms like transfem and transmasc without everyone assuming we're basically binary trans people, and binary trans people are so busy pitting transfem and transmasc as opposites while also saying "oh but we include non binary people!" No you dont, your inclusion is only for monogender enben whose gender is static and aligned with the binary. Because talking about only the existance of transfem and transmasc as two opposite exclusive sides is exorsexist as hell.

And dont get me started on how we dont fucking have LANGUAGE, there are so many languages that have no pronouns or neutral words to refer to people, existing in your native country means being misgendered.

We're either misgendered and invisible or misgendered and hypervisible. And people love to either act like we dont exist, or like we're basically binary cis or trans so there's no need to put effort in accounting for us.

It's literally horrific. If you're binary, at the very least there is language for you, and others to understand who you are.

I think "passing as making transness invisible" is a really good redefining of the term. That definition also allows us to talk about how even trans people who can easily be read as cis may not pass if they are openly trans or were well known (locally or more broadly) before transitioning.

And that understanding for me, stems from the reality that a major way many nonbinary people do not pass is pronouns. The minute you declare yourself nonbinary or adopt any pronoun other than he OR she, you have made yourself socially visible as trans. A 2024 study found that having they/them pronouns on a resume meant it was rejected more than not only the same resume without pronouns, but the same resume with binary pronouns. The author estimated that "74% of the discrimination faced by applicants who disclose “they/them” pronouns is rooted in their nonbinary gender identity rather than the political and other signals associated with the act of pronoun disclosure."

Without understanding this, a lot of nonbinary people are assumed to be functionally cis and move through the world as cis-passing people do, when that is often noy true—being misgendered is not the same thing as passing, but for nonbinary people, it is assumed explicitly or implicitly that if we are not gendered correctly, if we are not seen as our nonbinary genders, it must mean that we are treated as cis women and cis men and thus do not truly understand transphobia.

there are some autistic “traits” that people find really annoying but that are inherently kind

like overexplaining. a lot of autistic people didn’t have certain things explained to them because “everyone knows that.” so when an autistic person overexplains something it’s not because they think you’re stupid it’s because they know how it feels for someone to assume you know something you don’t and just not ever explain how or why. it’s a kindness. autistic people aren’t annoying or stupid for this. they’re kind.

fuck the army fuck the police fuck ice fuck the united states of america

the new york times is now charging money for my favorite chocolate cake recipe so i bought a subscription and screenshotted it and canceled my subscription and now it's here for you for free

i do a mixture of red wine and fresh squeezed navel orange juice for the liquid, plus the zest of one large orange. now you make the cake

Recipe transcript:

Yield: 8 servings

ingredients

3/4c or 177 mll extra virgin olive oil, plus more for greasing the pan

1/2 cup or 118 mll Earl Grey tea, or use coffee, dry red wine, orange juice, or water

1/2 cup or 50 grams Dutch processed cocoa powder

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp fine sea salt

1 cup or 200 grams granulated sugar

3 large eggs at room temperature

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons or 135 grams all purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

preparation

step 1
heat the oven to 325 degrees F. Grease a 9-inch round pan and line the bottom with parchment paper

step 2: in a medium saucepan over high heat, bring tea or other liquid to a simmer, then turn off heat. whisk in cocoa, cinnamon, and salt until smooth, then set aside to cool

step 3: in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine sugar, olive oil, eggs, and vanilla. beat for about 3 minutes. reduce speed and pour in cocoa mixture, scraping down the sides of the bowl. gradually beat in flour and baking soda until just incorporated.

step 4: scrape batter into prepared pan and bake until the sides are set but it's still slightly damp in the center, 35 to 45 minutes. A cake tester should come up clean but with a few sticky chocolate crumbs clinging to it. Transfer cake pan to a wire rack and let cake cool completely in pan.

ENJUOY MOHRERFUCKERS

The thing about character design theory is I really think we shouldn’t just keep reinforcing our “this is what a sneaky and untrustworthy character looks like, this is what a threatening and intimidating character looks like, this is what an innocent character worth protecting looks like, this is what a smart and competent character looks like, this is what a man looks like vs what a woman looks like” conventions like they’re innate human wiring that we tap into scientifically and not like, heavily societal