As someone who gets a LOT of these sorts of notes, I would like folks to consider this, henceforth.

From now on, every time someone says "this ____ is racist", and you feel the need to counter with "well to be fair, ____" I want you to:

1) Pause.

Take a breath! You do NOT have to respond immediately, or at all! Did you understand what was written? Do you understand why the person who experienced what they believed was racism feels that way? Do you recognize that racism is never fair?

2) Ask yourself why you feel the need to defend against this sentiment.

Is it personal? Is it because you've seen it in your own behavior, or perhaps a friend's? Are you worried that one day you might do this thing, or enjoy this thing? Is it about your entertainment? Did you offer this much grace to the potential victim before you began to invalidate their experience? Does this happen often? Do you fight against racism as often as you find yourself disagreeing when something is?

3) Can you accept what it means if you are objectively proven wrong?

If you disagree or want to "provide the benefit of the doubt", and you are proven incorrect- are you willing to accept that you have been racist? Are you willing to accept that people essentially saw you being racist for racism's sake? And may not feel safe around you anymore? Does it even matter to you? Is that who you want to be?

It happens endlessly where people want so badly to defend either themselves or some imaginary person they could potentially be, that they don't see who they're being right now. You want to advocate for the Devil, but you don't appreciate being treated like the Devil you're representing!

I'm not saying never question anything. Far from it! Not everybody is right, trust me. But I feel like y'all be so ready to respond, and for what? Y'all be so ready to debate someone's lived reality, and then are insulted when they don't trust you! I guess my point is to think before you speak. If you aren't sure, ask questions or do your own research. Approach to understand, not to respond.

☾ ⋆ ✶ . ˚ 𖦹 Starlight, Dreamcatcher ☾ ⋆ ✶ . ˚ 𖦹

(summary/information of the theory of structural dissociation) (pdf of the haunted self, book proposing the theory of structural dissociation)

STOP ASKING THE SKULL OF JUDGEMENT FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

I read a comment on tumblr a while ago, that went something along the line of "Yeah, when I feel like that, I just tell myself that that's past the statute of limitations".

So. The next time I had a cringe attack about something I did or said, I just reiterate to myself "Statute of limitations", and.. it works. It fucking works. It happened too long ago to be relevant now, so I am allowed to let go of it.

I absolutely don't think it will work for everyone, but it works for me, and who knows, maybe it will work for you (whoever you are who reads this). Try it, you'll never know.

the peasants carry me around

Something happened along the way... after the love has gone What used to be right is wrong can love that's lost be found?