*on a double date*
Jon: Damian and I are apartment hunting!
Kon: Oh I think there’s an empty apartment in my building, y’all could move in!
Damian: We dont want to live near you
Jon: He means that in a nice way
Tim: No he doesn’t
Damian: No I don’t
Bruce Wayne is the kind of instructor who’ll wipe the floor with his Robins during training for months until they finally start getting it and actually learn how to fight back. and then one Tuesday morning Bruce wakes up and decides to start fighting left hand-dominant instead and all of that hard-earned progress is completely gone overnight. when I tell you his kids hate him and LOVE him so much—
Bruce Wayne, 6'2", close to 250 pounds, built like a tank, shoulders almost wide as a door, who has to constantly conceal his body to make himself look smaller and fragile for the public eye, staring at his body in the mirror of Clark's apartment, is hit with the realization that he actually looks small in Clark's clothes.
He's staying over at Clark's place while he's at work, sleeping in one of his shirts he stole. He finally gets up after going back to sleep when Clark left for the office and goes to the bathroom still groggy from the nap. The look in the mirror wakes him up quickly because... Oh. He's never seen himself like this. His body's drowning in the fabric of one of his boyfriend's shirts. He hadn't realized that was something he could do. He's never dated someone as big as him, let alone bigger. His brain's breaking and he's realizing things about himself that he doesn't even want to unpack. But... Oh. He likes it. He likes it a little too much for comfort.
Old man experiences normal teenagers' normal hobbies
uhm actually ☝️ jason would love fatson todd HOWEVER his main complaint would be that there is ONLY a fatson todd. you'd better bet he's calling up the manufacturers asking for red robin, nightwing, batman, spoiler, black bat, signal, and robin. he then proceeds to keep all of them comfortable and squishy on his bed EXCEPT fatman, which he instead hides in numerous locations in the manor that are likely to give bruce a jumpscare, like an evil elf on the shelf that's main purpose is to terrorize a drugged-post-injury bruce into thinking it is alive and full of hatred
Reblogging to spread this absolute blessing to the She-Ra fandom. Thank you, beautiful soul <33
I'm going to get angsty for a second. Tim getting shot through the neck was seriously traumatising for him and Bruce. But I was thinking about what Jason must have thought when he saw Tim's neck wound. I'm picturing Jason showing up when Bruce is out and leaving Tim behind a care package of bendy straws, a proper set of pillows, a humidifer to help him breathe more easy etc. He recommends movies, text to speech apps, audio books, soft foods and things are are easy to swallow.
And Tim, the entire time, is confused not because Jason is being kind, he has always been soft at heart but that he seems so afraid, as if any moment he's expecting somebody to jump out at him.
Jason admits that there is something bothering. Bruce wasn't in the right headspace at that time and I just think that for a minute, Jason thought Bruce did this to Tim. Sounds outlandish? But
Jason remembers how deep a batarang can cut.
In my mind Bruce kept subtly pushing the Robins and his other Protege's towards retiring from or devoting less time to their Vigilante life throughout the majority of their childhoods and early adulthoods (largely unsuccessfully).
Dick: Woah! Engineering sounds really cool
Bruce: Good enough for a career?
Dick: Heck yeah!
Bruce: ...maybe you'll like it better than being Robin?
Dick: Nah!
. . .
Bruce: Hey, chum. How was school?
Jason: School's great! I love learning!
Bruce: Maybe you should take more nights off so you get enough sleep for it.
Jason: Sure. Some nights!
Bruce: *Inward facepalm*
. . .
Bruce: Hey Tim, ever consider a job at Wayne Enterprises someday?
Tim: That sounds good, actually. Could help us keep another ear out for corruption there...
Bruce: You *might* not be able to have a job there and be Robin, though...
Tim: Nah. I'll go do some math.
Bruce: *Questioning his life choices*
. . .
Damian: Baba, I want to be a Doctor.
Bruce: *Preparing himself for disappointment* I want you to know I one hundred per cent support you-
Damian: *Expecting Bruce to be angry* And I might quit being Robin to do so!
Bruce: *Crying with a stoic face* Finally...
. . .
(Apparently Steph was a Nursing assistant once but I couldn't think of anything else)
(Feel free to reblog with any of your own)
Lots and lots of sketches
they really just handed us a whole ass sister and we thanked them for it
Pretty sure Bruce secretly gets off on riling Clark up
Mr. Moneybags wanted a newspaper but he bought the Daily Planet instead. Why? Because Mr. Bruce Thomas I-don't-do-shit-halfway-Moneybags Wayne wanted to. Deal with it Clark or you don't get a raise.
alternate universe where Jason Todd comes back from the dead and starts calling himself daywing and pays off a whole contigent of goons to pretend not to know who nightwing is just to piss off Dick and make him consider never dropping into Gotham again, therefore dividing Bruce's attention and making him the perfect target for fuckery and mishegas, in this essay I will--
Thinking more about the role of social media and true crime podcasters, Tiktokers and YouTubers in Gotham. The Bats absolutely despise them, especially if they go after victims or their families. Most of the GCPD? They don't care, not when the content creators are paying for interviews and firsthand accounts or snaps from case files.
Dick gets random emails demanding he appear on their content. They get real nasty with insinuations ranging from him not caring about his parents to asking him whether Bruce was behind the demise of his parents in order to get custody of him. He's had to change his email address nine times in a year.
Jason is hounded when he returns to Gotham officially as Jason Todd. Content creators hound him on the street, asking him how he really died or whether his death was faked or whether the reports are correct and he has autopsy scars and show them to prove it? The boy is literally at a bookstore or standing in line for his food.
Tim being spammed with calls or tags in videos claiming that he had a hand in the demise of his parents or former girlfriend Stephanie Brown or he was neglected or abused by his parents so Bruce arranged their deaths. Tim changes phone numbers every three months and has no official handle on most social media accounts.
Steph and her mom being slandered in the press over her dad's actions, Steph reading accounts her neighbours and schoolmates sold to the press talking about what a disfunctional family they were, how Stephvs mom covered for him and Steph probably inherited his evilness.
Duke getting his image used in videos about victims of Joker Toxin, especially when he's after visiting his parents in hospital and clearly emotional or content creators claiming that he "landed on his feet" after his parents were Jokerized. Duke turns invisible or distorts the light when he's leaving the hospital.
Damian getting cornered in public when out for lunch or walks in the park by creators who ask him about the murder of Alfred Pennyworth and his father's disappearance, demanding he "tell the truth". The kid is literally having a sundae and playing with his dogs.
Barbara going out for dinner or lunch and getting weird looks from the next table and then some woman with a tiny microphone comes over and starts patting her and telling her "how brave she is" or asking her very personal questions about her assault and her near death experience, as in why didn't the Commissioner's daughter "not know any better" about opening the door in a city of high crime.
Bruce not really paying mind to the trend, thinking people just like mysteries but he never grasps the insensitivity or the intensity until he's at some charity event and he gets cornered by some Tiktoker who starts showing him vivid crime scene images (clearly photographed from actual files) of his parents. Bruce has to excuse himself and asks his assistant to arrange a car for him to leave but not before he has to throw up.
The Bats go extra hard when the content creators show up to scenes. Oracle dredge the content creators past search and posting history and has a file which threats to release if the creator doesn't delete footage. Nightwing has been known to slap phones out of people's hands. Red Hood simply smashes them against walls or crushes them in his hand with a "oops". Red Robin clicks some button and their tech fries and shorts. Robin cuts wires of microphones and knocks phones to the ground, "accidentally" treading on them. The Signal glows so bright that he ruins camera shots. Batman doesn't do much, instead he stands by and let's the Bats at it, shrugging when the creators start yelling for his intervention. The Commissioner? He takes a smoke break.
