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A Strange Place

@cutemuffin676

I'm cute as a button and will readily steal your muffin. (she/they) (aceflux) (20 something???)

does anybody want to see this baffling drawing i did when i was like 8 and i assume just learned what gay people were

what the fuck does this mean. the rest of this notebook is homestuck ocs

You read Homestuck at 8??

no but i did look at the pretty pictures of the characters on pinterest and take "what god tier are you?" personality quizzes

OP, I regret to inform you that you seem to have been drawing a tumblr post in your childhood notebook

:3 feels happier than :) But not as genuine as :]

:3 is my favorite. Full of deceit and silliness. The jester’s face. The culmination of all that’s chaotic and ever changing.

:) can be ominous, if it’s alone or accompanied by odd context! But sometimes, it’s yer friendly ol smile. :] is a friendly face. That is a friend. Look at it. What harm could it possibly do?

You have the secret knowledge my friend

The little guys are here… the littlest of smiles… like being handed a flower on a nice day…

Like this almost

btw if youre young and scared of doing adult things without your parents ive learned that like 90% of the time you can just tell the doctors office or the dmv "haha sorry ive never done this without help before... can you show me how to do this?" the employee will not care. if that means anything to you

literally walked up to a desk in the courthouse, said "is this where I register a car or is it the next one?" and she said it was the next one. and the lady at the next desk helped me. it feels embarrassing but I promise you can just ask

One of the most important lessons I learned in customer service is that no matter how much help you need, as long as you're nice about it, you won't even crack the top five of worst customers they've had to deal with that day. I will walk an old lady through every step on that pin pad with a smile as long as she's polite, because two calls ago I had to deal with someone screaming about politics for 45 fucking minutes because I wasn't allowed to hang up on him.

Everyone has their first time doing something, everyone makes mistakes, everyone has dumb moments, and as long as you're choosing kindness I'll just laugh it off and help out. Because no matter how dumb you think you are, there was already someone who was just as dumb but was determined to ruin my day over it.

So, my mom went to an estate sale yesterday and left with a quilt. Now, she's a quilter, but she hasn't bought a finished quilt in over a decade. So, the fact she felt compelled to buy this one was noteworthy. Apparently, they were selling it for only $15.

The funky shapes make me wonder for the sanity and marvel at the skill that went into this thing, even with the prolific use of applique. (My mom seemed to imply applique was less difficult than straight sewing, but I have limited experience sewing and none with applique, so the wonder is unfazed.)

Then she mentioned that the fabric used was what really sold her on this quilt: batik.

Batik, for the uninitiated (me, I'm the uninitiated), is a method of dying fabric involving patterned wax preventing the dye from taking in certain parts of the fabric, then melting the wax off and re-dying the whole thing.

I often refer to my bottle-raised lamb as my adopted daughter, because it’s mostly true, it temporarily keeps nosy strangers from knowing I’m an eeeevil childfree woman, and it’s hilarious when people find out. And by that time they’re usually too disturbed by the “her-daughter-is-a-sheep” thing to get on my case about the “woman-with-no-husband-or-kids-oh-the-horror” thing.

Most of my friends are aware that I do this, and will back me up in conversations without batting an eye when I reference my daughter. And the best part is that they literally never drop the story. They just 100% all the time accept that I have a two-year-old adopted daughter. The fact that she happens to be a sheep is an unimportant detail, not worth mentioning until an anecdote gets too weird to plausibly be about a human toddler.

Which actually takes much longer than you’d think, since human toddlers apparently have absolutely zero sense. “She bites if you stop paying attention to her” is believable, “she tries to eat rocks out of the landscaping” is believable, “she stuck her head through a fence and couldn’t get out” is believable. “She jumped a five foot fence and came screaming back into the house through the dog door when I left her outside in the pasture” does get some strange looks, though usually not for the right reason.

Occasionally the joke gets turned around on me, though. I posted a picture on my not-tumblr blog of her wearing my glasses, and every comment was “Oh my gosh she looks just like you!!!” “I would never have known she was adopted If you hadn’t told me!!” “Are you sure that’s not an old picture of you?!”

So apparently this is what I look like:

At least she does look cute in glasses.

[ID: a close-up photo of a brown sheep, stylishly sporting a pair of glasses. End ID]

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