lamaery:

Fake romance novel cover for "The Way of Kings, Part 1, by Sandra Branderson," using the same cheesy 1980s pulp romance typography as before.  This cover features Shallan attending Jasnah as Jasnah bathes in a large copper tub.  Jasnah's demeanor manages to be both relaxed and flawlessly poised, her shoulders and elbows resting on the rim of the tub, and the first two fingers of her bare safehand supporting her heat at the temple.  On her freehand is the jeweled soulcaster, accented by gold bangles.  Her breasts are concealed from the viewer by her freehand and  the steam from the water.  Shallan blushes furiously and bites her bottom lip as she clutches her hairbrush and Jasnah's very long hair.  It's unclear from the direction of her gaze if she's staring flummoxed at Jasnah's bare safehand, her soulcaster, or her nudity.  Shallan's vivid red hair is explosively curly, contributing to her sense of disordered thoughts.  She wears a light purple-blue havah with embroidery through the bodice and detailing at the shoulders.  The figures are framed by purple drapes which match the scene.  The book has heavily foxed edges and numerous creases, as well as a clearance sticker advertising 5 books for 2 dollars.ALT
only the illustration of Jasnah and Shallan described above without the title typography and the book-upALT

As promised here the additions for the first part of Sandra Branderson’s Way of Kings (Part 1 … yes, why only make one if you can split them, does the full hardcover copy of Brandon Sanderson’s Way of Kings fit into this jacket, yes… it only shows how PROLIFIC Sandra is. All that slow burn takes up space.) 

As with the other covers, the amazing text (and that first ID) is written and put into layout by the wonderful @priscellie

backside of our fake cover, the text for it is written out in the post, itself. The underlaying illustration shows a cloudy purple sky underlying the text in the upper half of the image and Kaladin carrying a very perplexed Moash out of the bridge four bunker. in the back to the left the Shattered Plains shine brightly in the morning light, to the right other members of Bridge Four are peaking out the door at their bridge leader and the man he has hoisted of his shoulder.  There is a price tag with a barcode and an isbn in the lower right corner and the whole page is framed within a rectangle of light yellow lines.ALT

💙💜 on the back of the cover 💜💙 

“I’d decided I couldn’t do it, but you convinced me that truth was not as simple as I thought it. You’ve opened a box full of storms in me. I made a mistake. I’ll make more. I need you.”
Jasnah took a deep breath. “Sit down.”
Shallan sat.

In the cavernous halls of the Kharbranth Palaneum, where ancient secrets lie hidden among the dusty tomes, young and fiery Shallan Davar seeks more than just knowledge. Drawn by desperation to protect her crumbling house, Shallan sets her sights on the enigmatic Jasnah Kholin, sister to the king, renowned for her scholarship and infamous for her heresy and icy demeanor.

Amid sharp debates and lessons in philosophy, sparks fly in the most unexpected of ways. As the two women navigate the shadows of trust and betrayal, secrets of both heart and history are uncovered.

(Also, a bunch of sweaty, desperate, shirtless men learn how to use their spears, if you know what I mean.).


“Smart, seductive, and utterly spellbinding. Sandra Branderson’s novels are the stuff of legend!”
Jordanne Roberts 

💙💜 Praise for Sandra 💜💙

“Nobody writes romance like Sandra!”
Dana G. Abbledon

“In Elantris, Branderson has crafted a lush tapestry of passion, power, and romance that burns brighter than any aon.”
Booklist

“Isn’t Warbreaker already a romance novel?”
Some Dude on Reddit

“I have already bought 631 copies of this book based on the cover alone.”
Argent

“Sandra Branderson writes all the steamy romances that Brandon can only allude to.” - io9

“ANOTHER one? Already?”
Martina George

“Sandra Branderson must be stopped.”
Patricia Rothfaux

“It’s possible to take a joke too far.”
Neither of these collaborators
at any stage of this project.

an even closer crop of Kaladin carrying Moash over his right shoulder. Kal looks sturdy and determined and Moash wears only his pants and looks rather stupefied at the viewer, man bun in sleepy disarray and his eyes round and wide. He did not expect to  be manhandled this early in the morning.ALT

peggy-sue-reads-a-book:

Knuckle tattoos that say SING, MUSE

just-in-cays:

the order of rodentia sounds like a circle of knights from ages past but you may be surprised to learn these noble warriors are still fighting their holy battles to this day

ahno-nimus:

chewedup-andspitout:

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at the top of the pile a single pea is having a hard time getting to sleep

(via ginnyq)

batbetbitbotbut:

batbetbitbotbut:

“focaccia, serves 4” yes all 4 me

“tiramisu, serves 2” yes all 2 myself

(via crowsintheforest)

cryptotheism:

Do you like found family? Queer romance? Enemies to lovers and an epic space opera setting with fantasy elements?

well I didn’t write that. You are fucked out of luck.

podcastwizard:

dajo42:

literally what the fuck do you mean its still january. how is that remotely possible. its been six months minimum

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bob-belcher:

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Andre Braugher as Captain Raymond Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Season 8)