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@debatingbread

23, She/Her
Side blog

I’m taking your hand very gently when I say this, especially cause I struggle with it too:

It is more important that you are in the pictures than how you look in them. Having pictures of something joyful and being in them helps you remember good times years ahead. The more time passes, the more nostalgic it gets, and the more you might regret not being in the pictures or having them. At some point, you will hopefully also look at yourself with kinder eyes, and notice the joy in the pictures themself and the joy the memories bring.

Your presence matters far more than your looks ever will. 🌸

from the bottom of my heart: just because something makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean it shouldn't be allowed to exist

"But what about <thing that literally kills people>?"

This was on a non rebloggable post so I'm setting it free.

Have y'all heard about the dog groomer that dyed a dog green without the owners consent?

The post started circulating in my pet industry groups and now it's hit the news, shit is bananas

I fell down this rabbit hole so hard and it just gets worse and worse. Like at the end of the news article about it they have a response from her and…

“UpNorthLive reached out to Boyles to see if she was interested in explaining her side.

This is the statement she sent in response:

‘I would like to address some recent comments regarding my actions. Throughout my career, I have always aimed to maintain a positive and respectful environment. I acknowledge that my decision regarding the splash of color may have crossed certain boundaries, and for that, I sincerely apologize.

When the family left my establishment, they appeared to be happy, and I received no indication of any dissatisfaction at that time. I even provided them with a card and additional treats as a gesture of goodwill. In an effort to resolve any concerns, I issued a refund prior to the online comments made about me.

I understand that my initial apology may not have been perfect, but my intention was to minimize conflict and ensure a positive outcome. It's disheartening to see how some individuals choose to diminish others rather than support them.’”

How can anyone be this stubbornly unable to admit fault? How can you possibly, with hindsight and SO much backlash, not understand how egregious this is??? Completely bananas!

Perhaps the wildest thing though is that the instance that went viral isn’t even the most bonkers one? Like look at this one!

It’s so bad that other grooming businesses with similar names are needing to post to explain that they are not the one that dyes dogs bright colours without owners’ consent! Bonkers.

“My excuse is that I’m young lol!” Actually no, friend, that’s not an excuse at all.

I don't normally hope people get sued, but holy shit. I hope that groomer gets sued and loses her business license.

why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer

I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree

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outerspacekat-deactivated201801

ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY:

  • wait until it gets dark and make tea or coffee or hot chocolate, or if it’s too hot outside make yourself a healthy smoothie with your favorite things in it at any point during the day
  • put on your favorite underwear, it helps, trust me, it’s an old family secret (i’m not kidding)
  • if you have a pet, play the “how many things can i stick on you until you move or get mad” game (bonus points if they fall asleep, extra bonus points if a family member sees you and tells you to quit it, extra double ultra points if they join in)
  • rip a peice of paper into as many little pieces as you can
  • go to animeseason.com and click “random anime” until you see one that looks completely ridiculous (or actually good) and watch the first episode. repeat if it sucked or if you get bored halfway through
  • spend at least an hour making a music playlist for how you feel right now and save it for now or when you feel a bad mood rise again
  • curl up in bed and cover yourself with blankets and pillows and put in music and just lay there for a while (sleeping is also good)
  • eat everything
  • drink lots of water
  • it’s okay bad moods don’t last forever!!!!!! i promise!!! you will be yourself soon and there are people who love you very much, don’t be afraid to reach out to them
  • you are lovely
  • eat lots of bananas
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evalilith

here are some more friends

  • i bet there is still a box of crayons in your house somewhere (if not you can get them cheap during back-to-school sales); find them and use them (maybe while watching ridiculous anime)
  • sunshine if you can manage it or just a sun lamp trust me it matters more than you think especially in winter
  • hugs even if they are stuffed animals or your pet or your pillow whatever is on hand
  • if you’ve got a favorite lotion/soap/thing that is scented use it liberally
  • cry if you need, if it doesn’t start by itself or if you don’t want to attract attention put on a sad movie so you have an excuse
  • write this down to pull out on future bad days:
  • it is okay to have a day where you don’t get things done
  • it is okay not to have a reason for feeling bad
  • taking care of yourself is a worthwhile use of time
  • if you still don’t feel better it is not your fault (and it is okay to ask for help)

romanticizing your life is such a powerful tool and it’s a shame that it’s mostly used by people on tiktok to justify the purchase of expensive breakfast smoothies when there are few better ways to force oneself through unpleasant shit than imagining a cinematic backstory for your extremely quotidian suffering

finding the strength to walk home from the library at 3am in the freezing rain by imagining yourself as a Napoleonic soldier hightailing it from Moscow in 1813

Human: Deal.
Fey: Very well. When you return home tonight, your mother will be in pristine health again. It will be like she never fell ill at all. Even the memory of her suffering will fade…
Human: Thank you so much. She means everything to me.
Fey: I know, I know. Let’s hope the price wasn’t too much for you after all… Only time will tell.
Human: So, when do we start?
Fey: …If I may ask you to elaborate?
Human: You said you wanted my firstborn.
Fey: Yes? And you agreed?
Human: Yeah, so, when do we start?
Fey:
Fey, blushing: Ah.

So good. It deserved some art. 😊

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vamprisms

infinite changeling glitch

That thing about how cats think humans are big kittens is a myth, y’know.

It’s basically born of false assumptions; folks were trying to explain how a naturally solitary animal could form such complex social bonds with humans, and the explanation they settled on is “it’s a displaced parent/child bond”.

The trouble is, cats aren’t naturally solitary. We just assumed they were based on observations of European wildcats - but housecats aren’t descended from European wildcats. They’re descended from African wildcats, which are known to hunt in bonded pairs and family groupings, and that social tendency is even stronger in their domesticated relatives. The natural social unit of the housecat is a colony: a loose affiliation of cats centred around a shared territory held by alliance of dominant females, who raise all of the colony’s kittens communally.

It’s often remarked that dogs understand that humans are different, while cats just think humans are big, clumsy cats, and that’s totally true - but they regard us as adult colonymates, not as kittens, and all of their social behaviour toward us makes a lot more sense through that lens.

They like to cuddle because communal grooming is how cats bond with colonymates - it establishes a shared scent-identity for the colony and helps clean spots that they can’t easily reach on their own.

They bring us dead animals because cats transport surplus kills back to the colony’s shared territory for consumption by pregnant, nursing, or sick colonymates who can’t easily hunt on their own. Indeed, that’s why they kill so much more than they individually need - it’s not for fun, but to generate enough surplus kills to sustain the colony’s non-hunting members.

They’re okay with us messing with their kittens because communal parenting is the norm in a colony setting, and us being colonymates in their minds automatically makes us co-parents.

It’s even why many cats are so much more tolerant toward very small children, as long as those children are related to one of their regular humans: they can tell the difference between human adults and human “kittens”, and your kittens are their kittens.

Basically, you’re going to have a much easier time getting a handle on why your cat does why your cat does if you remember that the natural mode of social organisation for cats is not as isolated solitary hunters, but as a big communal catpile - and for that purpose, you count as a cat.

This all makes me very happy to know.

Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book.  It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.

there’s a timeskip

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!

IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH

AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because

THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING

AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA

BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM

HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -

IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

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mayfriend

yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.

i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.

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mayfriend

> sees nihilistic depiction of human nature

> looks inside

> hope :)

Every time I see this I lose my marbles I love it so much. "For some reason I yelled who is in here as I was falling" is the point where my soul leaves my body. God I love.

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