Thinking to myself "they can't possibly have written this entire 20 000 word fic exclusively in 4chan greentext format", like a fool.

Give us the fic

Let the record reflect that you asked for this.

@lidsel replied:

I mostly just look up what's being referenced when people blorbotag my shitposts.

I low-key love this? They're certainly making use of the format; the chaotic and comedic flow of events would feel lower quality and wordier in standard prose

I don't know how anyone has found this as the only ao3 tag it has is "original work." There's not even a rating or relationship type. The fic summary for anyone intrested is:

"in 2069 AD, the region once known as the United States of America is a world of complex lore and political intrigue that our heroine doesn't really care about because she's too busy trying to find estrogen in the post-apocalyptic Midwest."

Give that roughly two thirds of the comments and kudos appear to post-date the creation of this thread, at least in this particular case the answer to "where do people find this stuff?" is apparently "right here".

That tiny Human spirit has shat himself 4 times today if you’d shat yourself 4 times by noon you’d be in hysterics too

He fell asleep in his bed, at home, and woke up at the goddamn grocery store with an overhead light in his face if that happened to you you’d become The Joker

Poor guy’s only been here for like a dozen weeks he doesn’t even have a favorite show to distract him yet he’s just raw-dogging reality unfiltered with no goddamn Blorbos to rotate whatsoever

Dude has, at this point, one communication signal.

Fortunately for him, it is a very important communication signal, especially given what he's going through right now. It says, "This is, in some way, unsatisfactory." Unfortunately, it's not very specific and he doesn't understand much about how to deploy it.

You have to understand, the stomach ache that he has right now is the worst stomach ache in the universe, because as far as he's concerned, the universe is maybe a month old and there's been a limited number of stomach aches in it. Or, the loneliness and anguish he felt when he couldn't see you was the most terrifying isolation in the universe, akin to being adrift in the Boötes Void, for the very same reason. He does not have guidelines to cope with these things. He has barely accumulated enough of a dataset to start evaluating things like, "Most times, when people I know go away, they will reappear eventually," or, "that particular stomach ache will go away if I eat something." He doesn't even know which particular problems can be cured and which can't. He just knows that "technique: scream like fucking banshee" does have some sort of a success rate.

And it's his only move, you think he's not gonna spam it? Get real.

Is it not achingly beautiful that across every language and every culture, and throughout all of the entire history of civilization and even before civilization began, the single expression of human communication which is universally and eternally understood, the first thing that every single human being alive learns to say, is

Help me

My mother is all into homesteading and off-grid living videos right now. Every time I check up on her, this is what she wants to talk about.

It gives her a sense of peace and purpose I guess. Which is good, she’s been struggling to find that with her injuries and condition. She’s learning skills, and feeling prepared for “the worst”. Like I can’t get her to stop watching conspiracy theory bullshit on YouTube so at least this kind of content alleviates some of the anxiety the other content amplifies, because she feels like she can do something now to secure her safety later.

But to get through these conversations, I have to tell myself— hey, if natural disaster comes our way, some of this might be useful. But I know she’s not just thinking a big storm or natural disaster. She’s preparing for the collapse of society. And I don’t know how to break it to her that we wouldn’t survive that. You can make long lasting candles with crisco? Cool. Where you going to by crisco when society collapses? You’ll stock up now? Ok cool. What will you do when it runs out? Honestly, before it runs out, what will you do when people with guns come to take your various stockpiled supplies?

If we hit a point where society collapses, we’re done for. Food, medicine, etc. we can’t survive without society, without a world where people are working together trying to help each other out.

So, I’ll go through with this shit in the name of natural disaster preparedness, and because it helps her. But that’s as far as I’m willing to put energy into it. I refuse to prepare for, bet on, or hope for the collapse of society. I’d rather spend my energy trying to prevent society collapsing, what little part I can play in that. I’d rather spend my energy supporting people in my community. I’d rather work and build towards a better future, not prepare for the worst.

OP, if your mother is physically able to do the following, I strongly suggest it:

Get her into a fibercraft. Sewing, knit, crochet. Because here’s the thing:

At first, you can pitch it as “we’re all still gonna need clothes and these idiots with their doomsday bunkers can’t even thread a needle.” But after awhile—let this take a bit of time, not so long that she gets bored but long enough that she’s like “I’ve DONE this already”—introduce her to a slightly more advanced concept. She was practicing on circle skirts? Check out how to make darts. Crochet blankets? There are SO MANY cool stitches.

And then when the craft has a decent grip as a hobby….THEN you introduce her to a crafting social group.

One of the best ways to stop people falling down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole is to make sure they have active and diverse community, and being able to make tangible things has been shown to have a positive influence on mental health. If cost is a concern, I literally have spare crochet hooks I could send you to get her started and all I’d ask for them is cost of postage, which is like. Maybe three bucks. You can even find halfway decent yarn at the dollar store now. It’s not amazingly high quality, but it’s good enough for practice and learning.

I cannot recommend the above enough. My dad is a prepper and was falling in with a militia. Like the white supremacy militias.

So I started casually mentioning i wanted to do Search and Rescue- knowing my father is incredibly competitive and will try and out do me.

I was all "but we can't rely on the government to find people!"

Now he has been on 6 different tours in the US. He is a field commander and the most successful in state history.

He independently made a partnership with a Black and Missing coalition and partners with them on searches for Black Ohio and.

He called me the other day so proud he has " a Trans and a nonbinary whatever that is" on his search team. So is he perfect? No. But now he isn't toting a gun around and threatening people.

He's getting better. Sure he built a secret bunker in the basement. But he's recovered multiple bodies and reunited people with loved ones.

Sure we still can't have a conversation without him divulging into some bigoted speak here and there.

But he's been lead in recovering teens trafficked from our state and successfully recovered them in Georgia in 10 hours.

Sure he isn't perfect. But he didn't fall completely and maybe he will become even better on his own.

The secret is: is they aren't going to become themselves again but you can help them not crumble completely. You can still have your parent even if they are a bit.. ahhhh.... hurtful. But they aren't hurting anyone and that's the important part.

We are what we become. So help people become in a good direction.

Part of the reason people (particularly white people) of a certain age fall down the doomsday preparation hole into conspiracy theorist is

there is very little community for non-churchgoing white folks.

There is such a push in white culture to get your kids out the door and settled in their own home after you've raised them nearly exclusively alone for 20 years. Your work friends are your work friends. You retire and they don't see you anymore.

You don't go to church? All of the church groups don't see you.

Because the prevalent culture among white people is go it alone. If you're lucky and not divorced, you get your partner, but usually the go it alone is so pervasive that even working as a team with one other person is usually too hard, not to mention the stress of only having one person and how you have no place to vent about that person when needed (and everyone sometimes needs to vent about their loved ones no matter how good the relationship.)

So you get to this place where your culture has led you and you have grown-up kids, no spouse, no friends, and a whole lot of undefinable resentment about your life that you're not supposed to feel.

And this person on youtube comes along and says "Fuck them all, society will collapse any day now."

And you nod along in agreement.

But if you have a hobby, and start making friends from that hobby?

Suddenly that support system vents all of those icky building resentments and you can depend on people and make friends and have relationships and the world doesn't feel so bad.

Honestly, white culture takes a pack animal and puts it in a cage alone and then wonders why so many white people are miserable, racist pricks.

first assigned reading in my textile history class is about orientalism and the political appropriation of the paisley print and kashmir shawl by the british written by a south asian researcher

"in this essay i would like to offer a way of reading pattern and textile history as political and ideological" sickos yes ha ha ha yes . jpeg

dropbox link to the PDF of the reading i just uploaded bc it's institution paywalled otherwise <3 let me know if you have any issues downloading it

hollanov x euripides (translated by anne carson)

The way i can hear this in his voice lmao

"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. Maybe many of us won't be here to greet her, but on a quiet day, if I listen very carefully, I can hear her breathing."

Arundhati Roy

Hollanov Fic Rec - Canon & Canon Divergent

Friends I have been absolutely feasting on the bounty of fics being poured into this fandom. One of my favourite parts of fandoms is fic recs, which I haven’t seen many of yet, so I wanted to spread some love (and also keep track of all the fics I’ve read 😂) so please enjoy the next few days of fic recs I’ll be posting. Also please tell me what you’re reading, too! ✨

💖remember to kudos & comment on fics you read 💖

🏒 wanna get stuck in your head by peculiarblue - 31k Lessons in budget-friendly shopping, home decor, and resisting the urge to neatly combine all your situationship’s shit into a drawer in your bedroom because you might be falling in love with him: a seven-ish step guide by shane hollander, who is so, so fucked zannithinks: whew! This fic takes you on a journey through the years and really showcases their personal growth through wonderfully linked vignettes. The banter is witty and my heart is gooey

🏒 There have been threats by gsmaxwell - 27k Shane wasn’t stupid. He figured this was some kind of fucking cowardly tactic to keep him from being at the Games. Hopefully, that’s all they wanted. If he just played nice, maybe this would all be over soon. No one was coming. Shane closed his eyes briefly. No one, except maybe Rozanov. - Shane is kidnapped before Sochi and no one but Ilya knows he's not where he's supposed to be zannithinks: Oh goodness gracious! Not for the faint of heart, this fic is intense. I love it to pieces for diving into the possibilities of that single line from the show and weaving in a bit of Ilya's relationship with his culture/home and Shane's fortitude.

🏒 loving this body by beetlesandstars, kryptonian / @weteddie - 22k Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.” “I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.”  - the hollanov bodyswap fic.  zannithinks: a must-read! this seems like something a little out-there, but once you start reading it is perfection. Who knew the best way to sort shit out with your situationship was a bodyswap??

🏒 you can ebb and I can flow (and we'll take it slow) by foxjournals - 10k He isn’t sure how he got from point A to point B, but all he knows is suddenly he can’t breathe. Suddenly, he’s six feet under, water encasing his lungs as they shrivel and expand into nothing. - Shane and Ilya get into a fight, and the only way out is through panicking / Shane uses a safeword in the middle of an argument zannithinks: Another fantastic exploration of these two complex characters amidst an argument, and beyond that it shows how sometimes love isn't enough to make the bad things go away. This fic pokes at hollanov's imperfections and makes them put in the work.

🏒 you get me by some1_around - 10k When a bunch of other NHL players interrupt him in a hotel gym during a conference, he is not surprised when they make fun of him, but he is surprised when Ilya asks him to teach them a few poses and they all go along with it. “Holy shit, Hollander, wait—can you suck your own cock?” zannithinks: uuuuuh this is just hot as fuck, no shame. Bend that boy in half!

🏒 the hunter’s heart, the hunter’s mouth by makemegentle - 9k Teasing: ‘Come on, then, Hollander. Crawl.’ On all fours, like a dog, like a bitch, Shane obeys. I want to be your pet, he thinks, wildly. I want to be your everything. I am an animal and I am yours. Nuzzle me and fuck me and tell me what to do, I don't care. If I am your dog, Ilya, then train me. zannithinks: one of the best fics I've read. Exploring an authentic approach to bdsm with great care and humour along the way. Everyone should read this one, genuinely incredible

🏒 Everything he needs by CherryPie0 - 8k Shane frowns. What's Hayden even talking about? “Don't have a girl,” he mumbles. “Shane,” Hayden says, his voice firmer now. “I’m gonna text Lily.” - Shane gets drugged at a club. Ilya takes care of him. zannithinks: if omegaverse isn't for you, this is a fantastic fic to get that 'accidental heat' vibes without the biological changes - who doesn't love a desperate needy Shane being healed with the power of Ilya's dick?

🏒 Our Captain, Their Problem by Bruja_oscura - 8k Ilya Rozanov has a "tiny car accident" (his words). Shane Hollander has a full-scale, system-shutdown panic attack about it. Meanwhile, a horrified Hayden is praying for someone to throw him in a lake and tell him that this is all just a big joke... zannithinks: Oh I adore this entirely. The emotional turmoil is balanced with excellent banter, and the pop into Hayden's POV was an extra sweet cherry on top

🏒 cause that's the love that i attract by REDRAGEOUSED / @redrageoused - 7k It’s maple-something. Sugar, shaped like leaves and it makes him smile a little. Shane would hate it, tease him about his lack of a “performance diet” like that means anything, and he would lick the taste off of Ilya's lips, which really, is all that’s needed to cement the fact that he needs this candy. It is also so painfully Canadian. Russia at least does bear. They are cooler, objectively. Maple leaves are boring. - 5+1 where Ilya rather likes Canadian gas stations. Shane only likes the coffee. zannithinks: one of the best Ilya POV's I've read. Hands down.

🏒 give me your hurt if you need someone to blame by iittaliia - 6k ”What the fuck were you thinking putting me down as your emergency contact?” ”What?” Ilya blinked, the sudden change in atmosphere clearly having caught him off guard. ”That I want you here?” he said like it was obvious, like that would be reason enough to put everything they were and everything they had at risk. - Shane thinks that being an emergency contact is an emergency. zannithiinks: ok so you're all probably thinking I have a thing for argument fics - and you'd be right!! Especially when it comes to these to boys, because wow can you writers really showcase the ups and downs behind the glossy 'happily ever afters'. This fic in particular is a fricking fantastic look at the nauseating uncertainty brought on by disagreements that leave a couple in a limbo of confusion, guilt, and hurt. Don't worry, the comfort comes through in the end!

🏒 Don't Call Me a Stranger by bluebox_dragon - 2k A fight over loading the dishwasher leads to Shane learning about about Russian diminutives, and the meaning of names. zannithinks: I can't get enough of seeing these two idiots stumble into knee-deep shit and crawl their way out of it. I love seeing them navigate arguments and learn where the emotional bruises are in each other. A special place in my heart for the spotlight this puts on Ilya's culture and considerations for his lived experience of his relationship taking place in his second language.

False: (reading chat) Am I using Bdubs' moss? No, I'm using my own moss, cause I'm an independent woman--no, I'm joking, sorry. That was meant to be funnier than it was, it wasn't very funny. Um...Bdubs is also an independent woman, so, you know. Two independent women, just, you know. Gettin' their own moss, I guess. (reading chat) "It was funny, I can't--" (her voice breaks in laughter) My brain is on one today, I'm not gonna lie. (reading chat) "It was funny, lol." Okay, cool.

good god.

i love when people on the internet get denied stuff and you find the most innovative minds of the generation dedicated to making goddamn sure other people get what they want come hell or high water

Okay but I get this. All of you worms who have things blocked on your wifi or whatever and have IbisPaint this is how you do it

Open IbisPaint go to a canvas (any canvas, or make. a new one)

Select the font tool (if you don’t know what or where that is, press the tool icon (normally a paint brush or eraser) and press the T button

From there you should be able to create a text box (writing is not important…). Find the font button and add a new font. I can’t remember what it’s called but you’ll know when you see it

It’ll automatically search for you “free fonts.” Do not follow this. Your app is misdirecting you. Instead search up whatever it is you’re looking for in the search bar, and that should work

Knowledge should not be trapped behind bars, bend and break them until you can grasp it

sounds very similar to a radio story i heard in 2014 ago about credit card debt. the debt got sold to a collection company and a couple received a court summons. they knew they had taken on debt, but they were confused about who this new company was and where specifically the number they were supposed to owe came from.

they show up in court and just ask the lawyer for the collection company: can you prove where this number comes from? Do you have a contract showing that you purchased our debt? probably luckily for them, a reporter researching a book on the topic showed up and asked the same questions.

10 minutes later they get in front of the judge and the collection company drops the whole case and theyre free to go. story is below, it has a transcript in the link too

https://twitter.com/BrianManookian/status/1674963884703088642

Link to the twitter thread for accessibility!

out of cards thursday

video source: x

I can’t speak for other social media webbed sites but I really enjoy how tumblr seems to just completely spin a wheel on whatever media is hot right now. Like yeah sometimes it’s a new show that’s big and actively coming out but also sometimes there will be a solid month where half my dash is Columbo memes. Defy authority. Get really into an book from the 1800s. Watch shows that haven’t aired in 40 years. Celebrate the anniversary of the Boston Molasses Flood. Become unmarketable

oh shit i almost missed it!