2025 wrap up: odd news edition

it's that most wonderful time of the year again - time for a 2025 headline wrap-up!

Congrats to Elon for enabling the world’s first child porn generator may he be rendered into his constituent elements.

I think one of the most hilarious copes I’ll see by AI troglodytes is when they say “it can’t be abused, it has safeguards”, and it’s been abused every single time without fail. Like it didn’t even take an hour.

When life gives you bears… trick them into doing market research?

@mercuryjellyfish

What I really like about this is that the containers all have prominent labels with a camera pointing directly at them, but it’s still called a double-blind trial because the researcher isn’t present and the bear can’t read

whenever I see the occasional critic that the Dean (community) is problematic lgbtq representation I think of that scene in the last episode of the show where Britta tells her hypothetical pitch for a season 7 where she says if she made their lives a show she’d change the Dean from an insane queer man with a gender and sexual identity that is apparently so complex he refuses to explain it to anyone or identify with any particular lgbtq label to a cisnormative trans woman and cut out “all that other stuff” to make the Dean more positively representative of what most normal queer ppl r like and the Dean looks aghast and horrified as if he was just called every slur in the span of a minute bcus someone literally just casually said to his face that she would choose to make his identity and personality more palatable and easy to understand so that the lgbtq community won’t get a bed rep bcus in a show he’d be “bad representation”. Like lmfao 10/10 no notes. Community really said unproblematic lgbtq representation meant to make the community look good has so many more offensive implications then insane queer characters who don’t give a shit and that’s on period

cant fucking sleep bc wikipedia has separate lists for vampires and for fictional vampires

I think you are really weird, Abed. And I think the wrong person just left.

when shawn gets into the blueberry on instinct, and they back out of the parking spot, only to drive back bc shawn drove his motorcycle there and they almost left it behind

I had this freshman tell me she “couldn’t” audition because she was too scared of the stage, and might have a panic attack. I asked how she felt about walking around onstage in costume and not saying any lines. That was fine. I was like okay awesome let’s lay some groundwork now and maybe senior year you can have like three lines!

I remember this kid who came into an audition and froze up, just couldn’t speak. Competent reader and speaker but when people were watching she couldn’t do a thing.

We cast her anyway, in a chorus role. Offered her lots of support and encouragement and kindness and grace.

At the next audition she whispered. Anyone who had never seen her before would have thought she was the most nervous kid there. But the directing team was abuzz afterward. Did you see? She did it! Once or twice I could actually almost hear her! Amazing.

Got cast again, in a chorus role. She’d been making friends with the other kids, and they offered her encouragement too.

And the next audition we said wow I can hear her! She’s speaking! Let’s give her a handful of lines! She can do it!

Anyway as a mentor in the performing arts these things are huge wins for me. Some kids are competent and confident performers at 7 or 8 almost by nature. Others, even much older kids and adults, have to make progress by inches. But progress is exciting! The only place to go is up!

Suddenly woke up around 4PM with a vivid idea for a DnD-style fantasy anime, about a generic fantasy hero having to save the world with a representative member of each of the other four major allied races: gnoll, dryad, naga, nurikabe. (No, I don't know why my brain decided on those.) This has been a recurring event through history to repel an ancient evil, but it's been centuries since the last time.

There's a major gulf of cultural understanding because the human kingdom has since moved far from the others, but it's still traditionally the human hero's role to translate. So, the human kingdom's court mage casts a spell on him so he can see them the usual way with one eye, but as humanized versions showing what they seem like to their *own* races with the other; he has to swap around an eye patch to go between them or he gets dizzy from the overlay.

Character descriptions and more worldbuilding under the cut (sorry, they're rambling notes I just hammered out quickly before I forgot anything; no names yet because I thought of it literally hours ago):

Some scene ideas and more worldbuilding:

More under the cut:

I cannot stress enough how important it is to have fandom friends who don’t hate your guy but their fav is someone else and their main ship is something else. It keeps your fandom environment biodiverse. It forces you to have some perspective.

BLORBO-IN-LAW

#artists

Edited for all my writer friends out there

Just saw the word "underfed" written down and spent a good ten seconds trying to imagine what the state of being "derfed" could possibly be, and how one would go about undoing it, before it clicked.

"WW1 soldiers were underfed" fuck man... Not only they sent them off to a war, but then they took their derf away too?? Fucked up

it's been a decade but i'm still not over the insanity that is the movie Jupiter Ascending

spoilers ahead, but this movie was slammed when it was released. sitting pretty at a 27%/38% on rotten tomatoes, it was critiqued on essentially every single aspect by a large majority of viewers. almost everyone hated it. almost.

i can't speak for what the the wachowskis actually intended, but this movie is a homage to every 12 year old dreamer writing acidentally self insert stories with unrestrained enthusiasm.

the main character played by Mila Kunis is named Jupiter. no literally. Jupiter Jones.

movie opens with Jupiter living an uneventful, monotonous life. there's a montage of her waking up early, going to work as a house cleaner, waking up early, going to work as a house cleaner, repeat.

within 20 minutes of runtime she is about to be murdered by aliens but is saved bridal carry style by channing tatum rolling in on hover skates. yes exactly what you're picturing. he also has a laser gun that barks when he shoots it. no im not kidding.

channing tatum is a wolf man hybrid. his name is Caine Wise. yes, "dog man", exactly, his name is literally Dog Man. he has pointy ears. "bred for the military but that didn't work out for me". after he saves Jupiter, she is unconscious and wakes up with a gun next to her bc Caine "thought it would make her feel better". he is Guarded and Rough yet Kind and Gentle.

it is later in the movie revealed he used to have wings, pretty feather angel-wings looking wings, but they were ripped off because he broke the rules. he has scars on his back. it's all very man pain. the movie makes a poorly masked point of talking about how he's a wolf man without a pack while the camera is pointed at Jupiter.

Jupiter spends most of the movie alternating between fainting, being kidnapped and holding her own against people wanting to kill her. you know, she's Powerful and Cool and Kickass but also has hunky yet sensitive men saving her. at one point a man who planned to murder Jupiter insults her and Caine, pointing a gun at the guy, asks Jupiter "may i kill him" through his teeth but she says no so he doesn't. (she has a guard dog she literally has a guard dog im-).

she has several wardrob changes and she's either dressed in flannels, snassy space movie outfits or the most beautiful dresses you could imagine.

another character is Stinger Apini played by Sean Bean. he's a human honey bee hybrid. im still not joking. he gets little gold hexagon in his eyes sometimes. he uses "beeswax" as a swear.

while Caine and Stinger have a little "you betrayed me last time we saw each other" fight, a bunch of Stinger's bees start swarming Jupiter, following her movements like some kind of avatar water bending powers. this means she's royalty. because "bee's are genetically designed to recognize royalty" (sean bean says this with a completely straight face for which he deserves an award). Jupiter is space royalty. queen, to be exact. she's queen of a bunch of planets, including earth.

Jupiter Jones, normal human girl from a boring, monotonous life, is Queen of Earth.

she's one of the most important people in the universe and has a hot wolf man saving her at every turn. this movie was written for every little sensitive, creative child inside the heart of a adult clinging to their imagination and dreams.

the movie has about eight bad guys but oscar-winner and acclaimed actor eddie redmayne plays the top bad guy. eddie did this movie coming off the backs of Les Misérables and The Theory of Everything. i can only assume the casting director knew about a murder he’s committed and blackmailed him into doing this movie.

eddie's character name is Balem Abrasax (a fine, 'character name generator'-name) and he either whispers or blows out the speakers.

one hour into the movie it takes a break and does a 'space bureaucracy is like the DMV'-bit as Jupiter, with the help of a robot named Intergalactic Advocate Bob, tries to claim her title as queen. there's a montage where they are sent around to get documents so they can get other documents so they can get other documents only they can't get those documents before submitting the first document and-

jupiter gets a cool glowing tattoo on her wrist and then the movie jumps back into space opera and she's kidnapped and saved a few more times.

jupiter tries so hard to seduce Caine but he resist bc He's Broken and Dangerous and Does Not Deserve Her. the third act kicks off with Jupiter (the person) inside Jupiter (the planet) with Balem who will most certinly hurt her, so Stinger give Caine a pep talk about how much he loves Jupiter and he has to go save her.

mind, they've known each other for about two days and Jupiter has been kidnapped three times so they've only spent about half of that time together. but it's TRUE LOVE goddamnit. Caine looks like he's about to cry when Stinger tells him to go after the girl. then he sets his jaw very masculinely and proceed to fly a little spacecraft though the storm clouds dodging lightning

they kiss during the last fight, defeat the last bad guy and then movie cut to later. now Jupiter is waking up early and happily go about cleaning houses, only she pauses to look at the glowing tattoo on her wrist proving she owns Earth and after work she goes on a date with her wolf man boyfriend who got his wings back so now she uses the hover boots and they go flying together. the end.

movie has so many stupid little quips and bits and funny quotes. the amount of fanfic tropes used would kill you if you did a take a shot-game. it's so silly. so so silly. it's stupid and the pacing is atrocious and the dialouge is so campy it hurts sometimes and the action scenes are a mess of visual effects than nearly give you motion sickness and they are about ten minutes each which is nine minutes to long and i love this movie with all my heart.

it's the most comfort movie to ever comfort. it's little younger me sitting up at night dreaming up insane stories. it's younger me pretending to hoverboard alongside the car on long drives. it's wanting to feel special and loved and go on cool adventures. it's endless imagination wrapped up in a stupid little story with stupid little characters with stupid little names written with pure love for the child inside every creative person.

i will die defending this movie. go watch it

You know how kids are supposed to be exposed to some level of dirt and grime as they grow up so their immune systems can learn what's a deadly disease and what just causes some slight irritation? And if a kid grows up in a too clean environment they're likely to develop severe allergies or a hyper immune disorder?

I think the over sanitation of the internet is doing similar things to people's psyche.

No that ship with an age gap isn't the same as pedophilia, you're just having the moral equivalent to hay-fever.

I love drawing cute scenes.

I know I don’t usually reblog things here but please more people look at this amazing thing.