First Felon is kidnapping and trafficking.

#LanguageMatters ✨️racism✨️💫

If you can’t find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesn’t deserve such majesty anyway.

It has returned to my dash and I cannot fight the compulsion to reblog…

the patrick lobster appears only once in a thousand years, reblog for good luck

bless this post

This is magnificent!!

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

I am sorry…

I fucks with my moms too heavy to be playing games. REBLOG

Hell no.

Sorry

Love you ma

If nothing more, these are amusing

Ha ha YAAAAAASSSSSS!!

I can’t believe the straighties are comparing us to seatbelts… like what is this? Grade 2 sex ed? Grow up.

YES!!!!!

when you really do care about mother nature

That is cool af

LOVE THIS!!!!

Bitch WHAT THE FUCK

what the FUCK

???!!!!??

Yo, this guy sold his soul for this or something holy fuck

i feel like i just watched something forbidden for mortal eyes

I’m the black lady in the audience LIKE DAMN OKAY

So….do i go to church tommorrow or stay in?

MAGIC TRICKS ARE SIMPLY SLEIGHT OF HAND, USING REDIRECTION TO TAKE YOUR FOCUS OFF THE THING THEYRE MANIPULATING. THAT IS NOT THIS. IT SEEMS LIKE IT AT FIRST BUT THEN HE STARTS DOING THIS SHIT IN PLAIN SIGHT, AND LETTING US ACTUALLY SEE THE SHIT TRANSFORMING AND CHANGING PLACES. THIS ISN’T SLEIGHT OF HAND.

THIS ISN’T A MAGIC TRICK. ITS JUST FUCKING MAGIC.

???? what??? the fuck???????

“Oh, I think I see the moments there where the actual transfer is happening, but he’s really good at it,” I thought at first. 

Promptly followed by, “Wait what the fuck what the FUCK”

Mmm bruh this guy needs to be arrested by wizard police for violation of the statute of secrecy

LEGIT WIZARD!!!!!!

[►]

I FUCKIN HATE/LOVE THIS

BEAUTIFUL!! lol

tbh America is passing bullshits laws just to be passing bullshit laws at this point

BULLSHIT!!

quick queer rant

im really tired of people within the LGBTQ+ community pointing fingers at each other and saying “you don’t really belong because you benefit from [insert type of privilege here]”

a cishet asexual still suffers from marginalization. their sexuality has been pathologized as a mental illness right along with gayness and transness. in a hypersexual heternormative culture where we’re told we must enjoy sex and we must be in relationships, an asexual person is made to feel as if they’re broken, as if they don’t exist, as if forcing sex and intimacy on them is a corrective measure to “fix them”

a straight trans woman still suffers from marginalization. being able to “pass” as a woman while also being in a relationship with a man does not negate the fact that trans people face the most violence out of anyone in the queer community, must face a society that enforces a standard of womanhood that may not necessarily apply to them, and must navigate a political climate that seeks to banish them from public spaces and paint them as criminals

a bisexual man in a relationships with a woman still suffers from marginalization. compulsory heterosexuality not only erases this identity but enforces this idea that bisexuality is a phase or a kink that can soon be grown out of. bisexuality is the largest subset of the LGBTQ+ community yet has the least amount of representation and leaves bi people more likely to have mental illnesses. being constantly recloseted when you date different genders has psychological and emotional consequences

individuals in a polyamorous relationship still suffer from marginalization. they exist in a society that hails monogamy as the only acceptable relationship model and attempts to make polyamorous individuals feel as if their relationships are abnormal, deviant, and inappropriate for children. they are treated as the example of what not to do, seeing as how society fails to acknowledge the breadth of relationship models that don’t necessarily have to include just two people. 

examples like these can go on and on and on and on

these critiques also exist without the context of race, ethnicity, immigration status, ability, and/or religion. we’re so focused on worrying about whether certain queer identities even belong in the LGBTQ+ umbrella yet fail to see how whiteness, Christianity, citizenship laws, access to disability services, etc. further compound on the experiences of those who are told by a cishet world that we are abnormal. 

and that’s what it comes down to: there is a formula for privilege in our society, and part of that formula involves being straight, being cis, wanting to marry, desiring sex, and believing in only two genders. queerness was always meant to represent those who live in opposition of those formulas, in opposition of systems that enforce and perpetuate those formulas. 

our job is not to gatekeep our community because that is childish and unproductive. our job is to understand the systems that oppress us, figure out how to navigate/change these systems, and advocate for all people who fall victim to the violence and oppression that these systems were created to enforce. 

we don’t do that by telling people that they don’t belong in our communities bc “they’re not as oppressed as we are.” this isn’t the oppression olympics. this is a time to fight, to love, and to advocate. 

AMEN!!!

It’s okay to be a campy gay guy. It’s ok to be a gay guy who likes fashion. It’s okay to be a very sexual gay guy. It’s okay to be a gay guy who sleeps around alot. It’s okay to be a gay woman who’s butch. It’s okay to be a gay woman with short hair. It’s okay to be a gay woman who actually really hates men. IT’S OKAY TO LIVE UP TO STEREOTYPES ITS NOT UR JOB TO MAKE THE STRAIGHTS THINK THAT YOU DON’T EXIST CAUSE YOU DO AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

PREACH!!

Mermaids

Take a moment and think about mermaids. Think about mermaid who live in the waters of Hawaii, with eyelashes made of sea-foam and tails the color of the sun. Think about mermaids sitting on the bottom of the ocean, watching the surfers above them in fascination and pointing out the patterns and designs on the bottom of their boards like children pointing out stars.

Think about mermaids in the Mediterranean being able to ‘speak human’ but they can only speak the dead languages. Think about Mediterranean mermaids still following old trade routes that ships from thousands of years followed to get from one place to the next.

Think about mermaids from the deep sea, odd colors illuminating off of their skin and tails. Think about them with skin nearly transparent and eerie smiles of teeth like needles and claws. Think about deep sea mermaids with bioluminescent tails three times the length of man.

Think about mermaids the size of whales, their upper body seeming like that of giant. Think about these mermaids swimming in large pods and helping out the smaller mermaids, fascinated by their loose, feathery tails in contrast to their relatively short stiff ones. Think about these mermaids trying to copy the smaller mermaid’s swimming patterns with quick flicks of their tails and instead sending a large splash at a nearby boat.

Think about mermaids in the tropics, with fancy fins that seem to ripple and blow in the current, creating illusions of movement to people above. Think about mermaids with fins that look like feathers who like to jump out of the water as if they’re flying before diving back into the sea in giggles. Think about topical mermaids with tails that reflect the colors of the sky and color the ocean with colors that people never thought the ocean could turn.

Think about mermaids in rivers who slither across the floor of the water like snakes and pinch at peoples toes like crayfish. Think about these mermaids living by huge waterfalls, the ones with dams built over them having long since been abandoned in favor for some other point of the river, even if it isn’t a traditional waterfall home. Think about river mermaids meeting with river spirits and nymphs and discussing daily events while listening to motorboats jet past above them.

Think about mermaids who live in creeks made from inland glacial melt in places like Glacier. Think about them sitting contentedly under a long thin waterfall, watching as cars march across the windy road far far above. Think about them writing messages on the cliff walls with the rocks from the bottom of their creeks. Think about them with short but pliable tails that they use to flit over rapids and jump playfully over bridges surpassing their domain.

Think about mermaids who live in streams of glacial melt in places like Greenland. Think about them being able to watch the stars above them in fascination through the clear blue water. Think about them dodging through the inside of large icy glaciers, sleeping on thick sheets of ice that seem to just barely be holding onto the glacier but which their family has slept on for years. Think about them with tails so blue that they seem to glow even when they’re twenty feet underwater, a melody of pastels.

Think about mermaids in the far north, with eyelashes frosted over and lips as blue as the water around them. Think about mermaids in the far north with tails of dark blues, purples and silvers. Imagine them breaking through the ice whenever their waters freeze over and rolling around the top of it in jest, laughing as they skid and slide across the ice. Think about mermaids in the far north who speak in tongues to trolls who live in caves in cliff-faces.

Think about mermaids in the north so old they remember vikings and teach the young Old Norse, believing it to still be the language of the people in the region. Think of mermaids in the Mediterranean that remember the epics that they heard rhapsodes sing of back in the fifth century.

Think about jellyfish mermaids with trailing tentacles instead of tails. Think about them with large umbrella-shaped bells wrapped around their waists like skirts. Think about these mermaids using their tentacles to jokingly sting each other, but never going towards a fish-mermaid in fear of stinging them. Think about jellyfish mermaids with bioluminescent bells and skin with patterns and designs unique to each one of them.

Think about mermaids who live in lava. Because, you know, why not? Think about them with tails of liquid precious metals. Mermaids with tails of liquid gold, nickel, diamonds, and obsidian; their tails not having a definite form and bits and pieces of them flying out into the lava. Think about their tails solidifying as soon as they make contact with water, pulling them down to the bottom of the ocean where they’re forced to live until they die. Think about them daring each other to flip their tails out into the air, seeing who can stay out of the lava the longest and not have their tails solidify.

Think about space mermaids. Think about mermaids who live in the seas of Titan, living in a sea of methane and ethane while watching the thick orange clouds circle above their heads. Think about mermaids on Enceladus, living deep in the interior next to the warm water. Think about adventurous mermaids swimming up into the cooler waters to try to see the ice fountains on the planet’s icy surface, most of them being sucked out and launched into space.

Think about mermaids on Europa. Think about them living in the ocean between the icy surface and the rocky interior. Think about the mermaids grabbing rocks from the interior and scratching long lines across the surface so as to play games and replicate the linear fractures on the surface. Think about these mermaids who live in the deep black darkness of the ocean, but swim up to the thinner parts of the ice sheet of the planet to watch the stars and galaxies light up around them when they aren’t facing Jupiter. Think about these mermaids having different constellations that they point out to others, different myths based off of them and how they arrived in the sky.

Just think about mermaids.

This is beautiful!!!