i'm afraid the character limit in the former bird app is destroying my potential

two sentence horror story

I was literally running to a medical appointment because I was late but I had to stop to take this photo

i am glad that lol has survived through trends and turmoil

Me clicking the show mature content from the gay porn mutual (what if it's something else)

not the gif I meant to use

once u have a pet for a while u run out of normal sentences to say to them and u have to make up more sentences on the spot. Currently telling my dog about his upcoming position as an accountant. they’re hiring him because he’s soooo little. so he has to be an accountant.

dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping

not my best work

everyone quit reblogging with "investing" and "making this blow up". that only happens to blogs that are already big. my posts sit squarely at 2 notes apiece and so it shall remain

hey could u watch over them rq

the urge to pull some bullshit when carrying my expensive laptop terrifies me

“wheeeewww what if i just tossed it in the air just a little bit hoo hoo hahahahajssa”

and sometimes i can’t help but give in and give it a couple millimeters of air

go my brick 🫳︵🧱

a lot of really interesting raccoon behavior can at least partially be understood when you know what a raccoon's primary sense is

dogs brains are set up to mostly process smells, with a small amount of sensory processing left for the other senses.

people's brains are set up to mostly process vision, with a small amount of sensory processing left for the other senses.

and raccoons?

for the part of their brain that is used to interpret their senses, about 75% of that dedicated to interpreting their sense of touch.

That's why raccoons often look like they are doing a bad impression of Ray Charles. They don't really care what they're looking at with their eyes, and they barely care what it smells like. They see it with their hands

One prevailing theory is that they put things in water because water softens the skin on their palms and fingers and lets them feel things better -- getting their hands wet works kind of like a magnifying glass for them.

i bet this jello is like one of us finding food that is, idk, semi-invisible and iridescent.

anyway, they "see" by touching with their hands - so now you'll have a little more insight when you see raccoon behaviors like this:

video in OP: two or three raccoons confusedly grabbing at several 3-inch cubes of jello, repeatedly dipping their hands in a nearby bowl of water.

both gifs are taken from a single short video of a raccoon at a table upon which is a mostly eaten grape bunch (with perhaps ten large grapes still attached to the stem structure and a few loose on the table) and the raccoon keeps feeling around on the table to find and choose grapes to eat, without really using its eyes to look at the grapes at all

wip

Me when I'm old as fuck and my grandkids talk to me: this reminds me of a post. I gotta go find the post

Grandkids: grandpa sit down you don't need to show us a post

Me: (not listening) Now where was that post....

the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

i love this tweet