The tragedy of AFTG isn’t just what was done to them: it’s how long it takes them to believe they deserve better.

Almost none of them grew up believing they were something worth loving. Not really.

Jeremy walking around telling everyone “jean and i are no longer dating” and jean sighing and explaining “we’re engaged, he means” every time before someone threatens to kick his ass

Uno reverse :

Jean announcing in a very somber and formal tone that Jeremy is no longer his boyfriend. Cue everyone panicking, but Jeremy is doing heart eyes at Jean and everyone is like "is this pinning for his ex...?"

And then Jean tells the room "he is my fiance", gaze still straight ahead and not making eye contact with anyone. Then he opens his hand and Jeremy immediately puts his own in it like an eager puppy, ring finger on display, face blushing pretty.

Spoke to a gen z person the other night and apparently the young folks don't know about the very legal sites from which you can access public domain media (including Dracula, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and other Victorian gothic horror stories)?

Like this young person didn't even know about goddamn Gutenberg which is a SHAME. I linked to it and they went "aw yiss time to do a theft" and I was like "I mean yo ho ho and all that, sure, but. you know gutenberg is entirely legal, right?"

Anyway I'm gonna put this in a few Choice Tags (sorry dracula fans I DID mention it though so it's fair game) and then put some Cool Links in a reblog so this post will still show UP in said tags lmao.

Spreading the news to my followers - if you weren’t aware of this before, here’s the link to Project Gutenberg - https://www.gutenberg.org/

Project Gutenberg is a gigantic collection of books that are in the public domain.  You can read the books through the site or you can download them in various formats so you can get the format you prefer for your eReader of choice.

It is free. 

It is legal.

I was reviewing the list of the top 100 books downloaded yesterday and I saw a fair few that I had to read for college classes - so if you’re a college student and your professor assigns you to read Plato or any number of older works, check here before you buy a copy.

I reread the Anne series several years back - they were free through this.  I need to reread Pride and Prejudice at least once a year, and my e-book version is from this.  Someone recommended Jekyll and Hyde to me a few weeks back and I got a free copy from this.  When I went to Haworth on my last holiday before the plague times, I brought books by the Bronte sisters with me to read or reread that I downloaded from here.  It’s a great resource.

Yes yes yes! I was honestly so flabbergasted that this young person hadn't heard of the gutenberg project! It's been around for AGES, maybe longer than the kindle has? And it's such a huge project and wonderful resource! It used to be a household name (or maybe that's just my family, thanks to my dad being a cheapskate nerd [affectionate]). I was so glad to be able to share this resource and others with them though, and I wanted to make sure no one else was missing out!

If you look at the first reblog from me I also recommended a few other resources, most of which were from www.archive.org, home of the Wayback Machine! They run openlibrary.org, where you can check out ebooks of some public domain titles! They even have the Bone series by Jeff Smith!

And archive.org itself has all kinds of public domain media including music and movies! For Dracula fans, here's a radio show adaptation of the book, starring Orson Welles! And here's a 1920 movie adaptation of "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," starring John Barrymore, the grandfather of Drew Barrymore!

I'm so excited to see people falling in love with classic media through Dracula Daily! Let's keep that fire blazing!

Also, if you can't handle reading things, check out libirvox.org! it's a free audio book project taking public domain works and people doing free audiobooks! there's a lot of great stuff on there, but it takes things in the public domain and makes audio books out of them!

it's a super nice project, and you can find some really nice readers there!

Also don't think a book is old because it's in the public domain

lots of writers and publishers are prepared to waive future profits for entirely petty reasons

because of this the entire works of Philip K Dick [petty writer who found himself with lots of hangers on during his life] and HP Lovecraft [his publisher - who was his wife and hated him] became public domain on their death

Sherlock Holmes entered public domain this year, it's always worth checking because you can save a fortune

and the more popular the classic - the more likely someone has uploaded it

Also don’t think a

book is old because it’s in

the public domain

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Want audiobooks instead?

LibriVox has free public domain audiobooks.

Public domain works in the US are:

(Don't go looking for things in that third category unless you've studied a LOT about copyright law. Mostly that covers things like "weird little newsletters" and "self-published booklets" and sometimes fanzines. But most publications have a copyright notice in them.)

There's also some oddball exemptions here and there; copyright law is a tentacled mess. But those are the basic guidelines. (Except for audio. Audio has its own set of rules. It's weird.) (I mentioned tentacles, did I not? Double the amount of them you were thinking of.)

There are a lot of works from the 50s and early 60s that were not renewed, especially short stories published in magazines.

Project Gutenberg began in 1971; the first text was the US Declaration of Independence, shared through the university computer system. That was the start of "hey computers + public domain text = FREE BOOKS FOR EVERYONE."

Adding on that Project Gutenberg is not just Eng language texts either! I know specifically about the French texts because I did independent study French lit in high school and all my sources were Project Gutenberg acquired (Candide my beloathed) but there's many open source texts available in a number of languages.

browsing the top 100 books downloaded in the last 30 days can be really fun too, interesting to see how things change

https://www.gutenberg.org/browse/scores/top#books-last30

Oh man, yeah, young people definitely need to learn this. I read so many public domain things when I was fresh out of college and penniless but still needed entertainment. Just going straight to Wikisource works too:

And yes, Sherlock Holmes is in the public domain. But I got bored with Sherlock Holmes after a few months, and became much more pumped when I discovered his mirror opposite, Arsene Lupin. Because when you're not only young and penniless but living through the Great Recession, what you really want to read about isn't the world's greatest detective solving crimes. It's the world's greatest thief robbing fat cats blind while pantsing the police along the way.

I started reflecting on Kevin haunting the narrative in two relationships, how Kevin is never ensnared romantically or sexually, how Kevin is actually incredibly loyal and self-sacrificing even it means someone he loves hates for doing something for their benefit, how people believe all he sees and cares about is exy/his career.

And while I do believe whole heartedly so much of this relates to Riko/the Moriyamas - people Kevin cares for (and care for him in return) always pay a price that Kevin is unwilling to keep paying, Kevin's focus has to be the game for his and others survival, Kevin is scared what being in anothers life will end up meaninv, Kevin does not believe he is worthwhile as a person - I think there's something else at play here.

Kayleigh Day.

Kayleigh and her approach to relationships is the only thing Kevin has to reference outside of the twisted dynamics within the Nest. Kevin now knows the Nest is abnormal. But like his only references of fathers being Riko's, who threw him away, and Nathaniel and Jean's, who sold them, so Wymack was a gamble... his only reference for relationships outside of the Nest were Kayleigh's.

Kayleigh had a long string of lovers. She didn't settle down with anyone. She chose not only to remain a single woman who chased after setting up exy as the perfect game and her own career as a sportswoman... she also chose to be a single mother. Kevin didn't know who his father was, growing up. Later he found out that his mother purposefully told Wymack that he wasn't Kevin's father so Wymack could pursue his dreams. This lie effectively ended all ties Wymack had with her, which she accepted as a self sacrifice consequence to doing what she deemed in Wymack's best interests. She never traded in her lifestyle for a one solid monogamous or even committed poly relationship. The only constant Kayleigh chose was Kevin.

Even then? She agreed to Kevin sometimes spending summers at Evermore! I have to assume she thought Kevin would enjoy Riko's campionship more than running around with her doing exy business all summer? I digress.

So if Kevin's upbringing made him believe that commitment was ultimately something unneeded and unwarranted, that the most solid form of a relationship was a familial or platonic one, that letting yourself fall in love was at best a detriment and at worst foundationally terrifying, and that you should always perform an act of self-sacrifice for another person's benefit even if they hate you for it if you truly care about them...

I mean. That's what Kevin does, isn't it?

And he never ever lets anyone see that it affects him. If he does then he falls back on how terrible and selfish he is (remember how Kayleigh LAUGHED at Wymack on the phone when he asked if Kevin was his??? Hmmmm. Sounds familiar, right??)

Kevin's caretaking is all Wymack. But Kevin's approach to relationships? All Kayleigh.

(Beyond the possibility that all of them will end in disaster or retribution from his owners.)

YOU GUYS IT’S DECEMBER 10TH YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS HAS BEEN IN MY QUEUE SINCE FEBRUARY

you have the rest of the day to reblog this

the three christmas spirits right here

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

THE ORIGINAL??

(smh) Never thought I’d see it in the wild. Yet here it is. :)

always gotta reblog the ‘breasted boobily’ post

I think Neil at some point in his life would sign himself up for a marathon. And I would love that moment to be while he's still with the Foxes. Maybe Andrew was the one to sign him up because he had too much energy. Maybe Matt decided to join him and they trained together. Maybe Kevin joined them too and made it a whole thing about some charity (because he is his father's son after all).

I don't know about those things but what I do know is that Wymack's "do this or I'll sign you up for a marathon" stopped feeling like an empty threat to the new Foxes. There are so many rumors about what Neil must have done to upset Wymack. It must have been something really big because they keep doing stupid shit that annoys Wymack all the time and they haven't been signed up for a marathon yet.

Neil does not help with the rumors. One time, while Andrew, Kevin and him were visiting Wymack for the holidays, one of the new Foxes asked him what he had done. Neil shrugged and said "Have you seen me? What haven't I done?", as always, giving space for speculation.

Happy December 3rd!

The first time Kevin tries to shave with his nondominant hand, Andrew finds him cursing and bleeding into the sink in Abby’s bathroom.

Which is how Kevin ends up sitting on the rim of the bathtub, hands behind his back (make sure not to touch me), with Andrew so close, he is practically straddling him, a safety razor sliding up Kevin’s jugular.

This close he can see Andrew’s pupils are dilated, and he wonders if it’s because of the drugs, and he hopes, hopes the way his pulse thunders is not noticeable. If it is, Andrew never says anything about it.

something i think is really interesting is how characters perceive andrew as dangerous vs the ways in which he actually is dangerous.

specifically the knives. bc the thing about knives is that knives themselves are dangerous. whether or not the person knows how to best inflict harm with them is not what makes them dangerous. a knife is a weapon, it can hurt people intentionally or not. that is why people automatically fear someone pointing a knife at someone else.

andrew is incredibly capable of physically fighting someone. when he actually attacks people with the intent to harm, not scare, he uses his hands, not his knives. bc renee has only been teaching him to use knives for less than a year when the series starts. he doesn't actually know how to fight with them. not effectively. not yet. he is quite literally waving knives around for the fear factor and carrying them around to feel the security being armed gives him.

but this has the consequence that the other characters think the knives are the most dangerous thing about him when, in reality, the knives are dangerous on their own, he's just holding them. him threatening people with the knives is all bark and no bite. if he wants to hurt someone, he's using his fists.

Nora was trying to kill Jeremy for real because imagine your type is tall dark haired men who are ultimately assholes. Then you get a tall dark haired man who’s an asshole to mostly everyone but you. And if that isn’t good enough . He’s French . and now he rides a motorcycle. And cooks. And cleans . And he’s loyal as hell and pretty much already staked a claim on u though neither of u will admit it. But that’s not it. on top of it all you picked CERAMICS as your shared class and as it turns out. He’s really good at it. So now u have to sit there and watch him manhandle and work open and stretch this clay with his long ass fingers while ur already fighting for ur life

lack of Neil being jealous fics is just insulting. Like it's mostly Andrew who's being portrayed as this jealous partner but we have Mr. Neil jealous of Kevin; Renee; wymack over here however brief they were. He rightfully so was jealous of Rennes parents being killed in prison you think he wouldnt stare daggers at anyone flirting with Andrew?? And he would notice it when it's with Andrew. Argue with a exy racket. I rest my case.

Neil would absolutely have the vibe "it's not you I don't trust honey, it's the rest of the entire world". And it would not even be about Andrew's trauma, because he trusts that Andrew can defend himself (well, maybe just a smidge about it still).

He'd just distrust everyone trying to get some attention from Andrew (and take it personally when they suceed). He would also focus all his displeasure on said person and not on Andrew, because Andrew's great and he trusts him and he can do whatever he likes. But fuck everyone else.

honestly the way Andrew comes to terms with the This he has with Neil post Baltimore to me reads very much as surrender. Very similar to resignation except that it's more the release of a trust fall or a skydive and less the giving of oneself away to an adversarial threat. its like he sees Neil alive but fucking halfway to broken and something inside of him just goes "i guess This is it now. i tried, but it seems he is It for me" and i always read it as a surrender to what you just now realized was inevitable through the scientific method of kicking-screaming-gnashing-spitting-thrashing-not-going-down-without-a-fight-fuck-you-and-fuck-god-walk-backwards-into-hell-let-me-introduce-you-to-my-knife level resistance

at some point you realize you've already passed the event horizon, you've already crossed over the inflection point, continuing to fight will just tucker you out and give you less time to enjoy it while it lasts

and look, neil is a danger magnet. things seem to try and kill him every other week or so, and that's before accounting for all the extra problems he causes himself just from talking. "while it lasts" might not be very long. or it might be forever. andrew doesn't know. andrew can't know. but this fucking stupid ass bitch with blue eyes against all odds seems to be Something and yeah that scares him shitless pisses him off but at this point...

andrew doesn't believe in regret. so with a soul deep sigh, he drips his fist, grips neil tight, and surrenders

I love how it’s implied that Wymack was the one to take Kevin to get his coverup tattoo. And do we think there was a moment when drunk Kevin was like “imma get a queen tattoo!” Where his dad was like

Is this about those “late night training sessions” with Minyard and Josten???

And then he finally realizes no. His highly acerbic, slightly autistic, newly discovered son is, in fact, just talking about chess metaphors

The ominous text message countdown was a way to torment Neil, but I think it was also an attempt to bring Mary out of hiding.

At the time The Butcher and his people didn't know Mary was dead.

It must have been so confusing for them to be hunting down mother and son for 8 years, the two of them running and hiding all around Europe and North America.

And then Nathaniel is just... on TV? Playing collegiate sports? Insulting Tetsuji and Riko Moriyama?

That had to have been so suspicious. That just screams "bait!" Nathan and his people probably thought Mary was laying a trap.

But she is no where to be seen.

So they have a countdown. Surely Mary would see the gravity of the threat and make a move.

But she doesn't. And that has to set them on edge because Mary Hatford is dangerous, and an unseen Mary is even more dangerous.

Nathan and his entire organization was bested by her for years, and she did it all while keeping her child with her and safe. She had to have been incredibly smart and tough to do that.

It's no wonder one of the first things Lola asks Neil is where his mother is. It's not just to get revenge on The Butcher's estranged wife, it's because Mary Hatford is cunning and dangerous and they just took the one person she loves more than anything.

Until they found out she was dead, they probably thought death herself would be on their heels.

I love when people write Kevin as stupid. Not malicious, just stupid and beautiful. One track mind. Loves his friends and doesn’t know how to show it. Worries and genuinely cares about Jean. Doesn’t know how to show it. Fumbles and bungles his awkward attempts to care. Attempts to lightly punch someone on the arm. Fully slams his fist into them and they ????? and think he’s an asshole. Genuinely doesn’t realize he just offended them. Knows he’s a diva but thinks he’s worth it. Blundering through life not realizing that his pissy little comments aren’t motivating or helpful. Thinks he’s doing a great job. Knows he’s arrogant but thinks he’s earned the right. Thinks that he’s making people into the best version of themselves by forcing them to match the standard he sets. Doesn’t realize everyone else has lives that they care about outside of Exy. Flailing through life like a bull in a china shop, wondering where all this broken china came from. Thinks everyone is just like him. Neil Josten confirms that everyone else are the weird ones because THIS one is just as single minded as he is. A little mean and assholish because all the Foxes are. But not cruel or malicious. Just stupid and beautiful and raised in a cult. Willingly went horseback riding in the mountains with his friends. Revealed his dad and that he didn’t go skiing for the greater good and immediately had a panic attack about it. Not a cruel dude. Just a stupid one.

I spend a lot of time thinking about this moment in The Golden Raven and how I think it’s kind of a symbol of Neil and Andrew's first Big Fight as a couple.

Because, don’t get me wrong - my boys are head over heels In Love at this point. But it’s a messy kind of love, and they’re both learning how to put their pieces together and when and how to trust each other as they do so. And while their love is rock solid, it’s not perfect.