norbert, the aggrieved
ever-jovial barnaby
the great archibald
shrewd percival
timid constantine
dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping
not my best work
guys….,, being friends, like actual friends, with people you have systemic privilege over is going to involve some good-natured ribbing. it’s going to involve them complaining about [insert privileged group you belong to] in front of you or even to you. that’s not a personal attack, it’s because they think you’re cool enough to hang. it’s because they think they can express their frustration to you without you attacking them. you really want to prove them wrong?
awesomesauce on a nothingburger with a glass of lmaonade and a side of epic bacon. for dessert, roflwaffles.
… the worst bit is I know several people this could be, especially given the ‘in Australia’ clarification
If you know them then there’s a chance I might know some of them and that thought will keep me up at night.
This wasn’t the guy who we all know who used to spray his jeans with Mortein and then light himself on fire, was it?
He used to sit at the back of the bus, cup his hand, spray deodorant into it, then open it and light it on fire with a lighter in one fell swoop to try and impress girls.
He had to stop because the bus company begged our school to tell him to stop bc of legal liability. His hands never actually got damaged after doing it for about a year.
I reached out to my old friend in question here, because I’ve been thinking about him all day.
I do not know what “the amulet” is. I have no idea what “the amulet” is referring to.
I instantly remembered when he said that.
While we were all at the local park doing legal things that teenagers would do back in the late 2000s, my friend here found a rock at our old smoke spot that was unusually smooth and flat. He liked it so much that he took it to the woodwork classrooms at school, drilled a hole in it, and hung it on a necklace.
When we asked why he weanwearing this dinky-ass pebble on his neck, he claimed it prevented him from ever getting food-related illnesses: wouldn’t get food poisoning, couldn’t over-eat, was able to ingest anything (prior to him finding The Amulet, a few of us used to play a game called “Devil’s Piss” where we would take turns shoving random food bits into a bottle of coke, and the first person to take a sip would get two dollars from the other players).
When we all asked him for the proof that this rock is magical—because nobody believed him, obviously—he said to meet him behind the History block at lunch, where he said he would drink two litres (or half a gallon) of milk in one go and not puke.
We met him there, and about ten of us all watched him down a whole bottle of strawberry milk in two or three breaths.
He didn’t puke.
He jumped up and down and punched his stomach to prove it.
He still didn’t puke.
I’m so glad I’m alive.
One under-appreciated breed of fic writer are the ones who hyperfocus on logistics to the exclusion of all canon shortcuts, and thus usually strike upon an awesome way to flesh out the worldbuilding or characters.
Like, I’m not necessarily talking realism here since often it’s still pretty far from realistic, but more like, “someone has to be running spies in this fantasy kingdom, and we’ve seen the whole royal court, so which background character is it? How does that change these three major interactions?” Or “real life historical nobility did in fact have some things to do that were like jobs, how does this human disaster cope with running an estate?” Or “there’s no reason for a sci-fi robot detective to know how to whitewater kayak, where’d she learn?” Or “if this guy is serving the emperor directly he has to be way high up in the space empire servant hierarchy, why is he doing this menial task for someone else? What’s his motive? Does he perhaps have the secret space telepathy?”
Anyway I’m always DELIGHTED to find a fic or writer who asks these questions because the fics themselves are universally bangers.
person who knows how logistical things works has picked up the cannon, hefted it thoughtfully, and put a single chalk mark precisely on the problem.
mr beast partnering with the lds church to help bring in younger people so they can marry off said younger people was not in my 2026 bingo
BREAKING: 21-year-old protester, Kaden Rummler, was shot point-blank in the face by ICE. he just spoke about how he’s blind for life and almost died:
“I will be blind for life. I have fractures in my skull that they can’t fix. They pulled a piece of plastic the size of a nickel out of my eye. I had shards of metal, glass, and plastic behind my eye and in my skull. They said it was a miracle I survived.”
What the hell is wrong with these people?
GoFundMe for Kaden Rummler, the young trans man blinded by ICE agents this week.
Fundraiser for K R by Sarah Gallimore : Help ICE Protestor After being shot by Feds