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Bruce, answering the phone: Hey, Clark, what's up?
Clark: Is Kon there?
Bruce: Yes, I'm just making up some snacks. He came over to study for that math test with Tim. Why? You want to talk to him?
Clark: No, it's just... Well, Ma grounded him and he snuck out. He's scared her half to death. I don't know what to do with that boy.
Bruce: Well, while I don't agree with his actions, he's a good kid, Clark. He's had it rough but he just needs a little encouragement to stay on the right path. I mean he came over to study for a test after all. There's hope.
Clark: I guess you're right. Tim has been such a good influence on him ever since they started dating.
Bruce: Dating?
Clark:
Bruce:
Clark:
Bruce, covering the speaker: Conner Kent, get down here this instant and fly your ass back to Kansas before I kick it back there. The Kents are worried sick. And Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne, you're grounded for a week. How many times do I have to tell you to keep that goddamn door open when you have company? Studying? My ass. Do I look as if I was born yesterday? You can tutor him with the door open.
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conversations overhead through the batkid com lines pt. 33 (masterpost here)
Bruce: 7'oclock, two runners.
Damian: on it. you can handle this place?
Bruce: i have it under control, just get the cargo.
Damian: sir yes sir!
Bruce: *sigh* you spend too much time with your brothers.
*ping*
Dick: B, TELL JASON-
*ping*
Jason: BRUCE GET YOUR FUCKING SON OFF HIS DELUSIONAL PERCH-
Dick: -I WAS A GOOD BIG BROTHER AND HE'S A DRAMATIC PIECE OF-
Jason: -FUCKING HIMSELF ON A GARGOYAL DICK SO HARD HE CAN'T REMEMBER HOW SHIT HE WAS AT-
Dick: -LYING SACK OF- WHAT?!
Jason: YOU HEARD ME!
Bruce: ENOUGH. no- not you, sorry i'll keep fighting you in a minute- it's my sons- right, you two.
*silence for three seconds*
Dick: HE-
Jason: NO, HE-
Bruce: oh my god-
Dick: TELL HIM that i was a GREAT big brother when he was Robin. WE GOT ON LIKE A HOUSE ON FIRE- LIKE- TOWARDS THE END AT LEAST-!
Jason: oh, *blows raspberry* don't give me that shit.
Bruce, tired: boys. *sigh* Hood, he wasn't that bad; can you-
Jason, instantly: you know he tried to get me institutionalised once? like, a month before i went to Ethiopia.
Bruce: -just- *pause*
Bruce: fucking what.
Dick: UM.
Damian: woah woah woah, hold on. expand on this.
Bruce: Robin get back to work- what are you talking about Hood?
Jason: he fucking- that weekend you had to go out of the city with Alfred so you called Dick over to watch me until you got back? i told him that his shirt looked gay and he drove me over to a mental health rehab. tried to convince the psychiatrist that i was a danger to others.
Damian: you have killed quite a lot of people,
Jason: shut the fuck up Damian.
Bruce: *incredulous* Nightwing?!
*a beat*
*ping*
Jason: YEAH THAT'S WHAT I FUCKING THOUGHT DICKFACE, YOU FUCKING DISCONNECT-
Bruce: ok get out of my channel both of you. yeah- sorry, i know, i'm not ignoring our fight i'll be right there-
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I think a good lot of Tim and Damian's animosity is performative. Neither want to be seen as giving in or want the other to be seen as the "better" man. But in reality, they actually enjoy each other's company, have similar interests and hang out. But if you ask them?
Dick: Hey, Dami, Bruce said you were in here watching Planet Earth and I was wondering-
Damian: *sat in front of the tv*
Tim: *sat on the sofa*
Damian, launching himself at Tim: IT'S MY HOUR FOR THE TV, YOU KNEW THIS, YOU CREATURE
Also Damian, whispering: Are we still on for Batburger later?
Tim, yelling: YOU'VE SEE IT NINE FUCKING TIMES
Also Tim, under his breath: Of course.