escorted out of "The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier" after I brought MatPat to definitively prove the identities of all the corpses 😔

Scream this is iconic….

i really love how you can tell how much happier she is

just watched this guy fumble two does in a row

rude post

one time in trader joes I saw a deathknight wither a nectarine to straight up mildew and ash in their hands and then put it right back on the display

tops always feel so confident in the bedroom until my healthbar reaches 50% and my leitmotif plays with a key change in the background

new years resolution: resist the influence of the Amulet

[Fictional character who is worse than me in every way] save me

#me with gob #me with shmilk

slogans for the upcoming orc election

back before the internet was invented people used to have to watch monty python movies just to see any jokes at all

some people still don’t know they don’t have to watch monty python movies anymore

exiting a uquiz halfway through when it becomes clear the creator's narrow and immature world view and cultural knowledge leaves them totally unequipped to tell me which peanuts character i am with any degree of accuracy or insight

is the world really such a terrible place? yesterday i asked if oat milk was extra and the barista said yes so i said ok just regular milk then and when she gave me my chai latte she whispered “i used oat milk ;)” doesnt that make u want to live another day?

here is my life philosophy: next week there might be someone ahead of you in line at the store who’s short a quarter and you have a quarter and you can give it to them. if you weren’t there, they’d have to put something back. the week after that you could be getting lunch and the waiter might ask if you want some pancakes someone else ordered and never picked up. you could find someone’s lost cat. you could watch someone’s bag while they go to the restroom. there are so many ways you are going to touch other people’s lives and they are going to touch yours and there’s no way to know when it’s going to happen. so you have to keep living!!! i wouldn’t want to die knowing that tomorrow the barista will give me free oat milk just to be nice. 

When I was 11 years old - we went to Sea World for my birthday. This was to avoid the realization I had no friends, and no one to come to a birthday party and probably because someone gave my mother free tickets at work. It was kinda a shitty day despite being at a theme park full of cute animals. There was a new roller coaster there that had just opened so we decided to go on. I was nervous. I’d never been on a roller coaster.

A group of 6 college kids were ahead of us in line and started chatting with me. Full on just having a fun conversation with someone literally going through the beginning of a very awkward middle school period. I was so shocked they wanted to talk to me. I think my mom mentioned it was my birthday. They were very nice about it. When we got on the ride they told us to go ahead of them so we could sit at the front of the car since it held 8 people.

Now the ride (called Journey to Atlantis - I believe it is sadly no longer there) started with a slow ride of beautiful visuals of dolphins and oceans and computerized images of this imaginary Atlantis before going up the hill to the beginning of the coaster, where it paused for about 30 seconds, and then the ride started. The college kids must have known there would be a pause. Maybe they’d ridden it before I’m not sure.

But as we sat there on that peak, 6 people I’ve never known, and will never know again, sang a very very lonely 11 year old happy birthday. Loudly. And with gusto. They were happy and laughing and joyful. And it made me feel less alone in the world.

I am 29 years old this year, and I still remember them. I still remember that kindness. It is so important. It doesn’t go into a vacuum. It exists beside me in my daily life. And I love the idea that I have been that person to someone else too.

It’s stunningly lovely to be human when we’re kind to each other.

Digging up civil war era cannonballs and hucking them at passing cars

#archaeology #historicalreenactment

You are not staying in the tags

they've just become my dress up dolls at this point

The worst part of those stepparent forums is that they refuse to admit that being a stepchild sucks. Not because you want your mommy and daddy to get back together soooo bad or because you’re jealous that you’re not daddy’s only baby in the world anymore. It sucks because you are a child with absolutely zero agency. It sucks because you have no say on who your parents choose to bring into your life and you can’t do anything about it if that person hates you, mistreats you, has beef with you, a literal child. It sucks because you can’t even choose where you lay your head at night, you are bound by court order to go stay in a house you know you are not welcome in. It sucks because adults often take their hatred of another adult out on you and there is nothing you can do about it. Being a child sucks in a lot of ways, beyond the childlike wonder and the lack of financial responsibilities. It really does suck to be dependent on the adults in your lives and have them fail you. Being icy to your dad’s girlfriend of the month is sometimes the only way you can exert your power and hopefully warn her to get away, even if you can’t.

what the fuck

new nemesis dropped

Hey, we can talk this out. We don't have to fight

WHO ARE YOU

if I had a plasma pistol you wouldn't hear from me ever again. i would crouch behind highway guardrails and shoot fully charged shots at teslas passing by me

It’s ok to post this