team fortress two came out ten thousand years ago. the spy has been found in the paris catacombs.
(via breakbeatbun)
27/ they-them / I go by Coal /
you ever crave something you can’t have? ssssshut up about your ex i mean i want grilled cheese but im scared of the stove
(via dumbbullet)
fun fact: you don’t need to be dead to haunt someone. you can literally go round to their house and do all the stuff a ghost would do right now
(via scalar)
tv pitch: a completely average workplace sitcom except that it’s established at the end of the pilot that it takes place on the 90th floor of the world trade center in 2000. every episode the date is shown, just to build the sense of impending doom. the show is otherwise a completely generic the office ripoff. the intro sequence is a montage of airplanes taking off.
at the end of the second season, we reach 9/10/01. after six months of waiting, season 3 drops. now it’s 9/12/01. nothing has happened. the characters carry on as normal. fans of the series go insane. the show never explains what happened, and continues to pretend it’s a normal sitcom.
trying something new called ‘repressing it’
⚠︎! 14 new chronic illnesses developed
We went from “being online is for a relatively niche group of nerdy people” to “being online is for literally every single person” so rapidly it’s jarring.
You pull up an image posted in 2011 on a now-semi-defunct meme site that got 13,000 likes during its original posting and every single person you know who’s been online more than 10 years knows this image.
You pull up a popular TikTok lady from 2026 who talks about how melons give you cancer and does video tours of her mansion whose videos get 600,000 likes minimum and no single person you know has ever even heard of her.
My boyfriend, again blending together fanfiction tropes: So what if when you finally find your soulmate, that’s when you discover if you’re alpha or omega, right?
Me, hands shaking as I frantically search for pen & paper: KEEP TALKING
Me: Seems hellish
Boyfriend: So does being an ant person
Me: Again, baby, they’re not ants
Boyfriend: YES THEY ARE. They communicate via pheromones— LIKE ANTS.
Me: So back to the soulmate thing….
Boyfriend: You could trick them into following orders and thinking they’re dead by spraying them with a spritz bottle. I think they need a queen.
Me: So back to the soulmate thing…. Seems hellish!
Boyfriend: Not really. If being around the other person is what triggers the changes, if you want to go back to normal… all you need to do is leave.
Me, writing: (You found your soulmate. It’s changing you in scary ways. All you need to do is leave… how difficult would it be to leave? What pressures exist to stay?)
Boyfriend: So these ant-people—
Me: OMEGAVERSE IS NOT ANTS!!!!!!
(via scentedzonkdreamerpeanut)
rlly embarrassing when ppl act like topping/bottoming has any bearing on anything beyond how you like to fuck. grow up
you’re like, inches away from asking who’s the man and who’s the woman lol
(via hippodameia)
