Penelope: *leaves the room*

*literally less than a second later*

Odysseus: Ugh my life is miserable. What's the point of living? I miss her.

Imagine Odysseus thinking of shaving but Penelope is immediately against the idea because she likes his beard

Penelope: I look like a mess

Odysseus: You're a beautiful mess then

Penelope: You'll never stop flirting will you?

Odysseus: Bold of you to assume I would

Odysseus: You're stuck with this flirt for eternity

Odysseus: You agreed to marry me after all

Penelope: Yes

Penelope: And I do not regret that decision one bit

Penelope: Please tell me you didn't do anything stupid

Odysseus: I may have accidentally killed a man with a banjo

*on a walk*

Odysseus: It gets too cold here

Penelope: Why don't you wear gloves?

Odysseus: Left them at home

Penelope: Awwww. Let me warm your hands for you. *takes his hands and kisses the back of both*

Odysseus: ...holy shit

Penelope: Watch as I hold my whole word in my hands

Odysseus: Yeah right. That's impossible-

Penelope: *holds Odysseus' face in her hands* See?

Odysseus: oh

Penelope: Mhm

Odysseus: *drugged or something* My wife's gonna get mad if she sees you touching me like that on my chest

Penelope: *smiling* I am your wife

Odysseus: ...

Penelope: ...

Odysseus: *squints a little* ...

Penelope: ...

Odysseus: *gasps a little, realizing*

Me: *comes across an odyeury vid*

Me: Ooh nice

Me: *opens the comments*

Comments: *complaining/whining about how Odysseus is married to Penelope and that Odysseus and Eurylochus are brother in laws which means it's "incest"*

Me: ???

In conclusion, people are stupid and hate when others have fun

Allergies...😍

Art by Gigi

Penelope: Why weren't you sleeping??

Eurylochus: Because you two were having sex!

Odysseus:

Penelope:

Penelope: No we weren't!

Eurylochus: Don't you lie to me

Eurylochus: I can tell by Odysseus' hair

Eurylochus: *to Odysseus* You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?

Eurylochus: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Ctimene: Um...Neat

*later*

Ctimene: *lying face down on her bed* I said "Neat," Odysseus. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.

Odysseus: *reading a book* Don't beat yourself up too much, Ctimene. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Penelope confessed her love for me?

Ctimene: Didn't you thank her?

Odysseus: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked her

Penelope: Hey Eurylochus, wanna third wheel on my date with Odysseus tomorrow?

Eurylochus: Sure

Penelope: Ctimene! Wanna third wheel on my date with Odysseus tomorrow?

Ctimene: Sure?

Penelope: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!

Eurylochus: ...

Ctimene: ...

Odysseus: Penelope...

*playing a guess the drawing game*

Telemachus: *drawing*

Penelope: Hm...is it a hat?

Y/N: It's a dick!

Penelope: Y/N. How is that a-?

Telemachus: Actually...

Telemachus: *draws more then shows them that he drew Antinous*

Telemachus: You're right, Y/N

Y/N: I'm a lesbiab

Y/N: Lesbiam

Y/N: Les bien

Person: It's ok. Take your time.

Y/N: *pointing at Penelope* GIRLS

Penelope: Can't you please tie your tie for once?

Y/N: But then how will people know I'm gay?

Penelope: We are literally getting married

Penelope: Hello there. I'm Penelope. And you are?

Y/N: Not as straight as I thought I was

Y/N: Help! My wife's in labor!

Doctor: Calm down. Is this her first child?

Y/N: No this is her wife