This is the foundation of all hope btw. In the words of Tolkien, 'despair is for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.'

Heaven forbid a grown adult sit on her kitchen floor to drink a cup of ice water at 6 am without being harangued by a tragically orphaned lint poltergeist

Sir how are you 100% baby 100% demon. Choose one or the other

um yeah his name was Wheatley

CUT THAT OUT DAMNIT

Wait, so now he's throwing chocolate POTTERY?

Like, yeah, okay, we know he can make fruit out of pastry and chocolate. We know about the woodworking. Whatever the magic he has with making living creatures and actual pools of water out of chocolate end up being.

BUT POTTERY?!

I rhink we should all just be greatful he works with choclate and not like, making Biogenic weapons from Star Trek real

priest is a genius bc she knows that every character who is incredibly secretive bc they are convinced of their own monstrousness needs a boyfriend who is just. the nosiest person on the planet. can and will go through their stuff and won't feel bad about it

immediately after typing this I watched the scene where lwz justifies breaking into fei du's super secret basement room by saying "I TRIED calling him but he didn't answer. silence is consent." he's my dream man

luo wenzhou: I broke into my boyfriend's secret room and found the device he uses to torture himself

zhao yunlan: I broke in and found my boyfriend's shrine to all my past reincarnations

luo wenzhou: yours sounds way nicer

zhao yunlan: you'd think that wouldn't you

Local man chooses to stand by principles, much to his chagrin.

Is one of my favorite character types. Yes, he is going to be idealistic, and righteous, and virtuous and it's going to make things so much harder for him and he knows this dang well and he hates it.

Iroh: so Toph, what are your goals in life?

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

Toph: I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it 

King Boomie, having exactly zero limits:

Unstoppable object meets immovable force

Why wasn’t this Toph’s future instead of becoming a freaking cop. This would have made so much more sense. 

My favorite part of this is “when I am no longer fit to rule” because

1. Implying Bumi was fit to rule at any point

1.1 except maybe in the sense that he was completely shredded

2. That he has no plans to die, (nor would death necessarily make him unfit to rule), but that he apparently intends to like. Tuck his arms and legs into himself and just roll off into the sunset.

3. Given that the Earth Kingdom has an actual ruling family that causes some drama in LoK, Toph continuing to cause monarchy confusion is both 100% in character and fucking hilarious.

Toph takes over as King Bumi the second and everyone is like “no that’s not how inheriting works” and Bumi is like “No no she’s right, I did say “inherit my title!”

When toph is no longer fit to rule, she instills bumi (Aang’s son) as her heir and he is known as bumi 3.

Her first act as ruler is to ban herself from Omashu’s transportation system, thus fulfilling one of her life goals.

But then she ignores her ban and continues to use the transport system forcing her guard to chase her and print wanted posters declaring her a fugitive.

Fortunately the clerks served under King Bumi the First and are well aquatinted with explaining chaos to the confused citizenry of Omashu. Without missing a beat they print the posters in 2 parts.

The first (read this aloud) part is a fairly standard Wanted poster explaining that King Bumi II Toph the Blind Melon Bandit Lord is Banned from the Omashu Transport system for crimes etc….

The second part (do not read this aloud) explains not to be concerned; if you see the King at one of the stations just shout “There she is!” The guards will chase her and you are free to go about your day. The King thanks you for participating in this guard training drill.

I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table  arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

Wu Sanxing & Pan Zi

“Winter Bonsai” 1982 by  Eyvind Earle (1916-2000)

Art by Edmund Dulac, 1915, ‘The Ice Maiden,’ from the book, Dreamer of Dreams.

today I learned that in 2008, the city council of florence overturned dante’s sentence of execution if he returned from exile. yes, dante’s inferno dante, who died in 1321.

but the funniest part of this is not that they were debating the exile of a man who has been dead for over 500 years.

the funniest part is that the vote was 19-5. five people voted to uphold dante’s exile.

The objectively funniest part of this is actually that the city that holds his remains, Ravenna, refused to give his remains back. This was a ploy from florence to have his remains moved back for the tourist money and its been ongoing for a long time. Florence had a fake tomb built in the city to trick people into visiting, and have tried to force the return of the remains.

His actual caretakers have been very steadfast in keeping them hidden, moved, or generally out of reach to respect his choice in life to never, ever, ever return to florence, even when he was first offered the chance to return. This is at this point an almost millenium long feud that florence is really, really mad about losing

growing up sucks because you realize $1000 isn’t a lot of money

my humor 2016

happy 3 year anniversary of wheeze man

Finally, the original has crossed my dash.

@strangezeroz welcome to tumblr where the app decides when you can be gifted with the sight of og memes, you cannot look for these yourself via the search engine, you won’t find them, you have to wait to be gifted them

For those of you who might be new here, Tumblr has no algorithm, legendary memes are brought to your dash by mutuals like pet cats bringing you dead birds.

If you were ever wondering why someone would put up with a cat that's as much trouble as Mayhem (you weren't, she's stunningly cute) just know that most nights she climbs onto my chest and sleeps the whole night like this. Ultimate baby technique