you were not born with venom in your veins

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
callingvoicemail
mareastrorum

Been thinking about Halandil Fang. I think he’s meant to be a “bystander” who complies with whomever is in charge because it preserves the only things he cares about: his vocation and his family.

In episode 1, Liam introduces Hal by describing his house uphill from his (newly acquired) theater, with a view of most of the city, with numerous bedrooms, a study with multiple desks filled with his written drafts, and meant for hosting both family and guests as “modest.” There’s no era in any history where such a house is modest; that is only the proper term when made in comparison to the rich, not in comparison to what is average. Hal views his life as humble despite that such a residence is luxury to most of the population. We know that’s true now that we’ve seen more of the city of Dol-Makjar and the settlements elsewhere. Hal’s home is only modest compared to the people most on his mind: the ruling classes. It’s a mindset that others have more, and therefore he doesn't have much.

In episode 2, during a flashback to Thjazi's marriage to Aranessa Royce, Aranessa gifts Thimble to Thjazi. Thjazi immediately comments that he doesn't agree with that and then asks Thimble if she wants to be a gift. Before Aranessa or Thimble reply to that question, Hal cuts in to say, "Just shut up and say thank you." Hal didn't want Thjazi to discuss this at the moment, and we don't know the exact parameters of his intent behind it. Maybe he didn't want Aranessa to take offense; maybe he didn't want to risk the marriage not happening; maybe it was cutting off Thjazi's nerves to avoid a side discussion. Regardless of how many or which issues prompted Hal's comment, he didn't think the concern for Thimble's agency and/or freedom was important compared to complying with societal expectation of accepting Aranessa's gift on their wedding day. Hal has priorities, and since Thimble is no one to them until that precise moment, she's not a priority.

In episodes 1 and 2, we saw that Hal's attempts to save Thjazi were by appealing to Aranessa Royce (Thjazi's wife) and Wicander Halovar (his student), who are both nobles of the Sundered Houses and attempted to persuade Yanessa Halovar to spare Thjazi's life. Both failed. It was an entirely transactional expectation, and when he didn't get what he wanted, his anger was directed at Wick—not Yanessa, and not even the Tachonis, who had demanded Thjazi's execution in the first place. There's no way Hal has been teaching Wick and hasn't realized by now that Wick is not a malicious person. It's not suspicion of betrayal that pissed off Hal; it's that he felt Wick owed this to him, and Wick failed.

In episode 3, Hal shows Thaisha the Hallowed Round (AKA the Dithyramb of Azgra), the amphitheater he finally owns after decades of work. Although Hal and Thaisha are both orcs of about the same age, he isn't as affected by the history of the orcs' subjugation by Azgra in this place. That doesn't weigh him down. Instead, he’s talking to family and co-workers for most of the scene, and yet one of the first things he says to Thaisha about his plans is that “I can't nail down what we're allowed to do.” Allowed to do. He's not interested in fighting for what can be done in this place. Before the topic is even broached, he speaks to the woman he loves, whose family made swords to kill the gods, and—unprompted—states his intent to abide by what the government tells him is acceptable. Hal is not like Thaisha. He doesn’t go on adventures or change the world. He runs a theater company, and he does that by going along and getting along.

Also in episode 3, after Wick and Tyranny arrive with Teor, as well as the PCs allied with Thjazi, Hal leaves the conversation and goes to the roof to look for "anybody that looks like a problem in the vicinity of the building." When Liam rolled a 13, the only people he spots are the people he received as guests. Other than Murray and Azune, Hal views them all as problems first and foremost. Knowing that his kids are in safer areas, Hal then goes to his office, and the first thing he looks at are his business papers, particularly the deed to his theater. His mind is on his vocation now at risk. That's his priority when his family is safe.

In episode 5, during the last scene with the seekers and schemers at the Lloy estate, Thaisha and Hal bid farewell to each other. Thaisha notes that she wouldn’t have had the chance to say goodbye to him if the plan to save Thjazi would have worked, and Hal responds, “We get what we get, and we don’t get upset.” There’s humility in that, but it’s also a cope and something that would be more apt to say to a child. He’s well into his 40s, so the only reason to say such a thing to another full-grown adult is that it’s his philosophy. It’s something he’s said over and over again, which is why she doesn’t take it as patronizing. Hal accepts whatever happens, and he does not make a fuss.

Hal is not a hero. He's a theater owner who doesn’t want to fight because he’s already got everything he wants. He views his success as a result of not being a problem. He’ll do what he’s told as long as he gets to keep what is already his. All the terrible things happening to other people didn't matter before, and there’s little reason for it to matter now. This is not a man who heeds the call to destiny because he doesn’t care about that.

He is not a man of principles, morals, or ideologies. Hal just wants his cozy, luxurious life, a successful business in the arts, and the ability to call in favors from his noble patrons. Everything else is a potential problem.

And Liam has stated numerous times, with a gleeful smile, that he’s waiting for Brennan to ruin it.

:)

minathevampireslayer
hawkexvarric

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The flowers are fresh and their faces wet
My body has died, but I'm still alive
.

[Critical Role 4 ep 4 'Stone-Faced' / Eduardo Corral 'Three Candles Review' / Richard Siken 'Sidewalk' / Jane Mead 'World of Made and Unmade' / D.H. Lawrence 'The Plumbed Serpent' / The Mountain Goats 'Birth of Serpents' / Oliver Jeffers 'There's a Ghost in This House' / ryebreadgf / Undertale / Melanie Martinez 'Death']

UGHHHHHH cannot wait for this table
valakiir
moltensmusings

The funniest part of the nein stats is that none of them are stupid. Caduceus has the lowest, but even by the end he's got just no modifier. He's at a flat 10. He's average intelligence.

Fjord and jester? 14.

Caleb? 20.

Beau? 19.

Veth? 16.

Yasha and Kingsley? 12.

But the minute you stick them in a room it's like all their intelligence gets evaporated and Caleb is often the one left to go "hey wait what?"

And the man regularly turns himself into stupid things to not bear that responsibility.

I love the nein so much because if they even for a minute apply themselves they work wonders, and then you see them 3 way tie at boulder, parchment, sheers. Or watch nott and jester plan to explode a barrel of black powder in a closed up room.

incredible
rainbowcaleb
zmeess

a painting of Critical Role characters Essek Thelyss and Caleb Widogast, based on the Rider-Waite Tarot's The Devil. it is styled like a square painting on a vertically oriented tan canvas, with narrow unpainted strips above and below it. a looping leaning script reads "XV" above and "The Devil" below. Essek is a dark elf with gray-lavender skin and short white hair, dressed in elegant long dark robes and a silvery metal mantle piece, with the breastplate shaped like a beetle's back and long spikes curving off of his shoulders, radiating from his neck. Caleb is a light-skinned ginger human, with messy chin-length hair and a beard, wearing a gray tunic with a brown leather coat over it, a thick scarf wrapped around his shoulders. his spell book is just slightly visible at his side. the characters are facing each other, with Essek standing on the left and Caleb on the right. their right hands are raised between them, hovering under and over a floating hourglass that Essek is offering to Caleb; the violet sand in it is equally distributed between the top and the bottom halves and is not flowing down. Essek has his chin raised with a cool expression of confidence, while Caleb is looking at the hourglass with a deeply conflicted face, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes shining. Caleb's left arm down at his side is engulfed in orange flames. above them is the dodecahedron shape of a Beacon, pale gray and iridescent; the pentagonal plane facing the viewer is oriented with one of the corners pointing straight down. six silvery threads weave around it, intersecting at nine shining points, one thread each passing behind Essek's and Caleb's heads, and one each wrapping loosely around them. their figures, dark purple and brown, illuminated by the faint glow of the hourglass and the flame, are silhouetted against a much lighter gray and overcast light spilling from tall pointed arches behind them.ALT
a close-up of Essek's face.ALT
a close-up of Caleb's face.ALT

finally finished a painting i've been cooking in my mind for a few years! shadowgast as The Devil, one of my favorite tarot cards and one of the three cards i associate with their relationship

i'm not much for divination but i love the story-telling aspect of tarot, and one of my favorite visual metaphors of The Devil is how loose the chains around the two figures' necks are. they're not kept bound. it's that possibility to choose that i find so significant, and so fitting for the story of these two wizards. to say you're not defined by your past is to say you're born with all the choices you make; but to say you are forever defined by it is to deny yourself the right to change. the chains around your neck might be very heavy, but the choice to shrug them off is always yours to take.

tip jar!

this slaps
piratespencil
orym-blossoms

I'm so obsessed with Wulf telling Caleb that he and Astrid are "giving him a life."

Bren broke. Bren was weak. Bren lost his mind and disappeared into the dark and has haunted them ever since.

Except he escaped. Caleb is the only Volstrucker to break free, and it cost him everything. He isn't on a suicide mission because he hasn't felt like he's alive since his parents burned.

But he got out. He has a *choice*. And Astrid and Wulf still love him enough that this is what they can do:

"Stay away or we'll kill you. Stay away from this. Live a life (a life that we cannot)."

Whatever else they've become, they can offer him this.

oooooohhhh
burningdarkfire
shrugsinchinese

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Like a year or two after Bren’s breakdown

In my head is there’s some unspoken bitterness between them after Bren is locked up. Also the loss of trust between them for a good while, wondering when the other will finally betray them too. Then Wulf asks Astrid to pull a Trent Ikithon and fuck him up, offering her some nasty semblance of control but out of malice. And they are sexy about it too of course