This moment broke me. It’s the moment where he has allowed himself what he wants and realizes how much more difficult his life has become. The edge of tears, the moment of satisfaction so quickly dissolving into despair. If you wonder why Shane doesn’t just ‘hit Grindr’ instead of letting Ilya ‘lead him on’ THIS, this right here is why.
like sure they’re not having sit down formal discussions about limits and safewords. shane would rather die than admit he has wants and needs; ilya makes everything into a joke or a game (“let’s make a deal”) to lessen the threat of rejection. but they’ve spent their entire adult lives studying each other’s physicality on the ice (“you’re an awesome player to watch”), competing against each other, having sex together, paying close attention, cataloguing physical tells, weaknesses, erogenous zones, preferences (“ginger ale cold enough?” + “i bought you cokes”). they’ve unintentionally become the world’s leading experts in each other’s bodies. “i think i know how the staff likes to be treated after all these years” ….yeah, yeah they do. how am i supposed to ever be Normal About Them
heated rivalry is amazing because it has all the appeal of something that’s good AND all the appeal of something that sucks. i didn’t think “good adaptation of maddeningly bad source material” was a thing that could exist but here we are.
whenever i post stupid shit that gets a lot of notes on here that i regret i take comfort in knowing that theres no real repercussions from that because this website is going to be tanked and shutdown within, at the most, 3 years
