Women's Soccer, Critical Role, She-Ra, and really anything with lesbians are my main interests, given that I'm pretty damn gay. Also anything that will make people laugh, since we need more of that. She/Her.
My AO3 Account: fairytaleslayer
what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs
i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names
my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them
framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse
why haven’t I seen anyone posting about that giant fucking baby penguin in Melbourne that’s bigger than some of the adults already
his name is Pesto <3
this bastard weighs 46 lbs at 9 months old. he’s 22 lbs heavier than his PARENTS
OMG I SAW THIS LAD IN PERSON AND LOST EVERY OUNCE OF SHIT I’VE EVER POSSESSED
Look at him!
Also he was separated with one of his parents when I saw him but obviously wanted to Be Where The People Penguins Are so they’d set him up with a little rock stool so he could gaze upon his brethren:
Which enabled me to capture the single funniest video I’ve ever taken of anything in my life:
All hail Pesto! The king of chonk!
He’s adventurous, cheeky, sings to the caretakers who clean his enclosure and has been seen CANOODLING with a penguin named Pudding.
And fucking handsome too—look at him striking a pose with his new look!
when i worked at cracker barrel (vision darkens for a moment) we all got custom aprons with our names embroidered on them but not for 90 days bc the barrel isn’t gonna invest in custom embroidery if you can’t hack it. so until you get your own aprons you wear an apron that says ‘rising star’ on it. the issue being every single other person who works there is wearing aprons with their real names. so every single day for 3 months customers would be like 'can we get a table for 4? thank you, Rising Star. and what an interesting name!’
Rising Star would genuinely be a very lovely name but it wasn’t mine and I did just think it was funny that the power of the Apron Name had such command.
btw if youre young and scared of doing adult things without your parents ive learned that like 90% of the time you can just tell the doctors office or the dmv “haha sorry ive never done this without help before… can you show me how to do this?” the employee will not care. if that means anything to you
