Whenever Bruce gets hurt in front of one of his kids and it’s their fault because they didn’t listen to him or something, they will be extra clingy to him until he gets better, cause they feel guilty

—

“No chum, I thought you grew out of this.” Bruce let out a frustrated huff as Dick was practically glued to his side. He just wanted to go take a quick piss and maybe have some alone time in the bathroom. So what if his arm was in a sling? He’s had worse.

Instead, his oldest was whining and trying to stop him. When he closed the door to the bathroom, thankfully alone, Dick was sticking his fingers underneath the door and begging to be let inside, just like he did when Bruce first adopted him.

Bruce truly thought his eldest had grown out of that particular habit. It had only happened when Dick suffered terribly from separation anxiety and couldn’t bear to let Bruce out of his sight for long. He never did it again when he got to double digits, but now- “Tati, open the doorrrr! I miss you!”

Bruce sat on the closed toilet lid and held his head in one hand, already exhausted. “Dick, just give me ten minutes!” He pleaded, silently hoping that Dick would listen to him. What a fool he is.

Bruce ignored Dick’s cry of anguish and turned on the shower to drown it out. Ten minutes, that’s all he needed alone.

—

Bruce was trying to move around the kitchen and make himself something to eat, but it was especially hard with a grown man taller than he was clinging to his back like a koala. It was truly lucky that Bruce was Batman and worked out consistently, so he could give his massive baby a piggyback ride.

“Jay baby, please go wait at the dining table.” Bruce tried to request nicely, but was only greeted with a muffled whine in response. “I can’t just keep carrying you around.”

Bruce sighs and continues to suffer as he makes the two of them omelets for lunch. “Extra cheese and ham on mine, pa?” Jason requested, hooking his chin on Bruce’s shoulder. Bruce sighed, but started doing it.

He should’ve never fallen into the harbor and gotten that cold. It was a bad one. Must’ve reminded Jason of some dark times with his mother. Bruce was barely conscious and coherent for a week.

At the dining table, Jason moves his chair to be right next to Bruce’s. At least he wasn’t trying to squeeze into the same chair as him. Small mercies.

The moment Bruce was done with his food and stood up, Jason was once again clinging to his back, grumbling softly about something Bruce didn’t bother to try and decipher.

Lucky for him, he had a reinforced spine.

—

Tim frowned and poked at the eyepatch Bruce was wearing for a temporary period, for the fourth time.

“Sweetheart. Stop thinking about it.” Bruce scolded softly, gently pulling his son’s hand down and letting out a huff of air. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Tim didn’t say anything but snuggled himself deeper into Bruce’s side. Since Bruce had temporarily lost sight in one of his eyes, he’s been confined to his room and forced to lounge on his bed till his vision returned.

Tim pressed himself even closer, squeezing Bruce, even as he had a scowl on his face. “I’m gonna hunt down those mother-“

“Stop that.” Bruce sighed and ran his fingers through Tim’s hair, messing up the careful comb job his son most likely did that morning. “I just need a few days, and my sight will be back to normal. When that happens, we’ll work on the case again.”

Tim nodded. “You’re not allowed to get up.” He stated, grabbing Bruce’s blanket and tugging it over both of their bodies.

Bruce chuckled, but stopped when he saw Tim’s serious expression. Damn, he was hoping to at least walk around his room for exercise. Now that he has an octopus clinging to him, he definitely wouldn’t be able to.

—

“Baba, hold my hand.” Damian insisted, grabbing Bruce’s hand as he tried to make his way down the stairs.

Bruce barely resisted rolling his eyes right in his son’s face. It was cute how caring he was the first few times, but now it was way too much. Damian was acting as if he were an invalid.

“Qalbi, I’m just going down the stairs.”

“But you’re hurt!”

Bruce sighed and ruffled Damian’s hair. “It’s a grade 1 muscle tear that’s basically healed. I’m more resistant than you think.” Bruce tried to reassure, not mentioning the fact that it was almost a grade 2 muscle tear.

Damian pouted and looked up to Bruce with tears in his green eyes, widening them to make them look even bigger. “Please, Baba? Let me help you.”

Bruce felt his heart clench as he looked down at his youngest child, who rarely willingly showed any trace of distress. “Awe- I mean, okay, I suppose I can continue letting you help me maneuver around Habibi.”

Damian let’s put a huff of triumph, it was adorable, but Bruce would never tell him so, and tightly held onto Bruce’s hand as he helped him walk down the manor stairs.

Slightly unfortunate, Damian refused to allow Bruce to let go of his hand for even a second. Adorable, but tiring. Bruce could never refuse him, though.

—

Bruce thought it would be different with Cassandra because he hadn’t seen her in almost an hour, and he was free to relax by himself. It was nice to relax on the one-seater armchair and not focus on the dull throb of his ribs. He should’ve realized that none of his kids could be normal about anything.

“I will find a way to transfer your pain to me,” Cass stated seriously, holding around twelve thick books in her arms and sitting on the ground by Bruce’s feet.

“Please don’t practice dark magic on us, Princess.” Bruce sighed, massaging his brow as a headache started to bloom beneath his eyes.

Cass frowned and set her book to the side. “But Dad-“

“No black magic,” Bruce said firmly, scooting over to one side and patting the cushion. Cass immediately pressed herself into his side, trying to keep her body away from his torso to prevent herself from causing him any discomfort.

Cass stayed silent for a little while before looking up at Bruce with an accusing frown. “You would use black magic to transfer our pain to you.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“I’m your Dad,” Bruce stated, hugging his daughter closer and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

—

“Hold still.” Stephanie hissed, sticking her tongue out as she colored in whatever she was drawing on his arm cast.

Bruce hummed and kept his eyes closed. He didn’t know why she decided he needed a makeover now that he wasn’t allowed to move much until his broken hand was healed.

She had already painted his nails on both his hands, gave him a full face of makeup (which he looked great in), and was now trying to write her name graffiti-style on his cast.

“You done?” Bruce asked, chewing on some snacks Alfred brought in earlier for him and Steph.

“Nah, I can’t figure out how to write the S.”

Bruce blanked. “What? Thats the first fucking letter. What the fuck have you been doing this entire time?” Bruce looked down incredulously just to see his hand case mostly being covered by a surprisingly good drawing of Nyan Cat.

“Like?”

“Hrn.” Bruce lay back down but didn’t close his eyes, just watched Stephanie’s face. She looked a little constipated as she worried on her bottom lip and stared at his cast.

“Sorry about your-“

“I thought you said something about face masks?” Bruce asked, interrupting her with a soft smile. “You gotta wipe off my makeup though, I’m not doing it.”

Steph grinned and grabbed her backpack, which she had thrown into the corner. “Okay, I found, like, a bunch and they’re fruity smelling so I think they’ll be really good.”

Bruce smiled as Stephanie started chattering again, the pained and hesitant look on her face mostly gone. As long as she didn’t try to wax his eyebrows, everything would be fine.

—

Bruce watched with a grimace as Duke choked down another sob, trying his best to get through his slam poetry read, tears streaming down his face.

“Honey bee, you really don’t have to do this.”

“B-but-! You broke your leg cause of me!” Duke flung his body at Bruce and hugged him; his poem, stained with tears, fluttered softly to the carpeted ground.

Bruce gently patted Duke’s back and shushed him. “Next time, I’ll go over protocols clearly for when I work with you during the day. We both could’ve done a better job.”

Duke sniffed and continued to hide his face in Bruce’s shoulder before pulling away. “I need to go write another poem.” He sniffled, a frown set on his face. “But- I can’t let you out of my sight-!”

“Maybe that should wait until your mind is clear?” Bruce laughed, but kept Duke from getting up and grabbing another piece of paper and trying to rhyme as many words as possible with the words ‘sad’ and ‘cry’. “Let’s watch some TV, hm? We’ve got all the time in the world.”

Duke chewed on his bottom lip before settling back down next to Bruce, holding onto his arm tightly. “I guess…” Duke agreed.

Bruce let out a sigh in relief that Duke was no longer crying and settled down for some prime TV watching, checking ever so often that Duke was doing fine and no tears would appear again.

I had a vision while scrolling on pinterest and I figured out why we don't see Castor and Pollux in that one scene. Good old embarrassment lmao

shane hollander: omg you like. played bad, mr. scott. haha look at me i’m so brave

scott hunter: i see you for what you are, homotron3000. sucking dick and cock so hard that you might as well start quoting dostoevsky in russian

They hyphenated, your honor 🏒

Baby Hollanov AU

They’re about 9 or 10. Ilya doesn’t know any English yet, but they still become besties

(SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE THIS FIC)

Shane wearing Ilya’s jersey

(He lost a bet 💔)

s5 byler girl dads and miwi parallels can be something so special…

dc super hero girls brucie’s instagram is slutty thirst traps and precious dick content and his protein diet

Dick was probably such a little shit when he first got to the Manor and decided that Bruce was his new parent (not quite dad but not quite mom, a secret third thing) but Bruce had engagements outside of Batman and life at the Manor and Dick activitively works against those plans. Such as:

Dick eventually grows up and he admits to Bruce who just chuckles because he knew what was going on. Bruce doesn't really have to worry about his kids doing it... Until Damian comes along and the cycle begins again.

As you asked!!! More Curtis babies <)

i’m already writing a fic so no one steal this or ill steal ur left socks but

the concept that for the first 12 years of pony’s life, soda only referred to pony as “the baby”. like ponyboy isn’t a real pony so he doesn’t deserve to be called pony (soda’s words not mine)

sodapop (2 yrs and 10 months old) at his parents bedside at 12 in the morning: mommy, baby’s crying

sodapop (3 yrs and two hours old): the baby’s spitting up

sodapop (5 yrs old): the baby stopped up the toilet… again

sodapop (16 yrs and 4 months old): what’re we gonna do with him, dar? the baby still hasn’t spoken in like 3 weeks

sodapop (16 and 10 months old) in the middle of the night bc he can’t sleep: darry did the baby come back yet

sodapop: the baby’s not speakin or eatin again darry

sodapop: the baby’s crying again; i think he misses johnny

me and my beloved chud son

Itty bitty baby Jason, who is sooo annoyed and grumpy when big brother Dick comes to stay over at the manor.

He was excited the first few times he visited, never had siblings before, but the novelty has worn off, and he wants Dick gone.

Not only is he taking up all of Papa’s time (by arguing! Not even cuddling and having fun like Jason would!), but he’s eating all of his snacks too! Specifically, the ones Jason told him he liked the bestest!

“He doesn’t even live here!”

“Jason, sugar cube, your brother has to eat too, even if he doesn’t live here.” Bruce sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll buy you more snacks once he leaves.”

Dick starts loudly chewing on Jason’s toaster strudels with an evil grin on his face cause he’s annoying.

“Chickadee, stop antagonizing your brother.”

And Dick just flips him off, which makes Bruce sad, which in turn makes Jay even more angry because his brother needs to stop being so mean to Papa!

darn it

So my Batfamily brain rot is back (not that it ever really left) and I just had a thought like…

If you’re a henchman/criminal in Gotham, seeing your life flash past your eyes is gonna be a somewhat regular occurance but… what if like… the thing that truly made a henchman’s heart fall to his ass was when they hit Robin just a little too hard and this 10 year old kid just starts crying and goes ‘Daaaaaadddd!’

That’s the moment when they truly think they’re going to die because said dad, the kid is calling for is a 6’6 demon from hell who’s all muscle and shadows and vengance and a lot of Gotham still thinks he’s a cryptid

The henchmen all drop their guns and try to calm the kid down but it’s over in 5 seconds flat. Batman breaks several bones before speaking to Robin in the softest voice they’ve ever heard him use and the criminal world, who was already a bit hesitant to fight a kid have even more reason to take it just a little easy on Robin.

And like, I can picture different reactions with every Robin.

Like, for Dick, he’s ten and we all know he was the most violent Robin second only to Damian so maybe when he’s ten or eleven and has calmed down a little, a henchback who still remembers what a little shit he used to be decides to get back at Robin, slips on a pair of brass knuckles and BAM

And then, little Dick just stares for a moment in shock, cheek already starting to bruise, the criminals he’d been fighting all stay still because it was a nasty punch and then…

“Daaaaad!!!” He cries out in a whiny voice that reminds them that Robin really is just a kid and it all clicks into place.

Even Bruce wasn’t expecting that, Dick has just started calling him dad and he still isn’t used to being called that so to hear his kid calling for him in the moment where he is startled and hurt and a little scared… the henchmen don’t even have time to react and they wake up in the hospital with concussions and maybe a few broken bones.

It doesn’t take Dick long to calm down, it was mostly that the hit from a random henchmen really startled him and got him right in the cheekbone. But Bruce still finishes patrol early and Dick still hides under Bruce’s cape all the way to the Batmobile.

Then comes Jason and Jason was such a sweet kid, I headcannon he was the one that called Bruce dad the most often while being Robin. So one night during patrol maybe he finds himself fighting Penguin or Two-Face and it’s been a long night and he has an exam the following day and Bruce is fighting another villain at the other side of the warehouse

The point is, the henchmen and Two-Face start landing hits on eleven year old Jason in his gut and at some point he loses sight of Batman fighting on the other side of the room. Jason gets scared because he’s never really fought without Batman and while he knows that Bruce is still in the warehouse, he can’t see him and the handle of a gun hits the back of his ankle and he falls and he sees Two-Face or Penguin or one of the henchmen getting ready to grab the front of his uniform and beat him up and…

“Daaaaddd!”

The criminals freeze for a moment. They’ve heard the stories of what happened the last time a Robin called scared for dad.

They’re fucked.

They all drop their guns and try to get Jason to calm down, but he’s crying just a little bit and calls again, his voice breaking and despite having been at the other side of the warehouse just a second ago, Bruce somehow drops from the ceiling and it’s over before the criminals can keep pleading with Robin to calm down.

Jason tries to apologize for ‘acting like a baby’ but Bruce is having none of it and carries him back to the Batmobile and Jason is happy to just hide his face in Bruce’s cape because he knows his dad will always be there to save him.

Then comes Tim.

And Tim gets found out while doing reconnisance and somehow he finds himself face to face with Bane who manages to wrench away his bo staff and Tim is just eleven and he is scared because Bane doesn’t look like he’s going to hold back

All Tim knows is that the crack he hears must surely be his ribs either cracking or breaking and he can’t breath and he can only muster enough air for a single word… and he calls for his dad through tears and fear

And at this point… at this point Batman has already lost a Robin, Tim may not be his legally but he is his son just as much as Jason was

Bane spends a month in the ICU

Tim is embarrased that he reacted like that. He thinks it makes him less of a Robin to called scared for Batman… for dad.

So Bruce tells him of the other two times it happened. It’s one of the first times he’s spoken about Jason to Tim so bluntly.

Then comes Stephanie.

Stephanie never calls Bruce dad when she’s Robin. She’s not his daughter and he’s not her dad. They’re not sure what exactly they are to one another.

As far as Bruce knows, Stephanie’s version of Robin never called out to him when she was scared.

What he doesn’t know is that it did happen. Just once

It was the last time she was Robin. When Black Mask had her and she thought she was going to die

At some point while bleeding and feeling nauseous and so scared she could barely hear anything that wasn’t her own heart beating wildly against her chest… she called for dad. Not for Arthur Brown, but for Bruce

Black Mask laughed at her

Stephanie never tells Bruce

And finally… Damian

Now, we know Damian would probably never be startled enough to call for Bruce out of instinct, so I can see 2 scenarios in which this could happen.

First, he sees another kid do it. He sees a kid close to his own age laughing and playing, then tripping and staying quiet for a split second before crying out for mom and dad and he just… assumes that’s something kids do when scared and hurt and startled and does it mostly in an attempt to be a little more ‘normal’

Or, my favorite scenario… he hears of the other times it has happened. He overhears maybe Dick remind Jason of what Bruce did when Jason called out to dad as Robin. Tim maybe jokes that a Robin calling for dad is still the villains’ greatest fear

So Damian stores that knowledge away as a battle strategy just in case he ever needs it… and maybe a small part of him wants to put it to the test, to see if his father would protect him as brutally as he’s protected the Robins before him

So some random night during patrol, he’s up against several henchmen, a few of them grab him from behind, trying to hold him down. Damian is fighting against them when one of them swings a cylinder of metal that Damian thinks might’ve been meant for the plumbing and…

The henchman breaks Damian’s nose, there’s blood dripping down his chin and staining his uniform

Now… it is most certainly not the first time he’s broken something, he’s more than used to the pain, in fact, he barely feels it. However, it gives him a chance to put his little theory to the test

And so Damian allows himself to sound like the ten year old that he is and in a whiny, teary voice, goes… “Babaaaaa!” (Bonus points if it’s the first or second time he’s called Bruce baba instead of father)

What Damian didn’t take into account though, is that Batman and Robin aren’t the only ones on patrol that night. They made a big bust. The biggest part of the operation was over but they were still fighting a few stragglers. The whole fucking family is here.

And they all hear his cry.

Damian doesn’t think he’s ever seen a fight end so quickly. The henchmen only have a split-second of surprise before vanishing, being tackled or shot or having knives buried on their shoulders by his siblings.

The one that actually broke Damian’s nose is being beaten up by Nightwing, Damian doesn’t think he’s ever seen Grayson so angry.

A shadow kneels in front of him, father. Baba. He’s checking Damian and Todd is right at his side, both speaking in hushed tones, checking his injuries and wiping the tears that usually came with a broken nose.

And now… Damian is used to his father and Grayson treating him like a child, trying to be as soft as they can with him. Even Cain does it to some extent.

But… having Drake wrap an arm around him, calling him baby when knocking out one of the criminals that had hurt him ‘that’s my fucking baby brother!’ and continue to hold him later into the night on the couch, having Brown willingly give up all the snacks she keeps in her utility belt and promise to take him to Batburger the following day for milkshakes because he was ‘a champ’. And Thomas wraps his favorite blanket around Damian while they’re fixing him up.

Todd decides to stay the night at the manor. Which he never does. They all decide to spend the night at the manor when Damian still sniffles on the Batmobile and they have breakfast all of them together. Which Damian isn’t sure has ever happened before and Cain gets Alfred to make pancakes with chocolate chips instead of blueberries.

They call him baby in hushed whispers but for once, it doesn’t bother him even though it really should

But most of all, Bruce refuses to let him go for a good five minutes after he first cries for him. Smoothing down his hair and whispering that it’ll be okay and just being soft in a way Damian has never seen before.

He sleeps between his Baba and Grayson and he knows that Todd and Drake and Cain check in on them at least twice in the night for some reason.

And he realizes it’s… it’s nice. Maybe this really could be an effective battle strategy to be employed again someday.