There was something a trans woman said to us long before we came to realize ourselves. I think this was back in 2008 or so, I can hardly be sure of the time or site, and those specifics aren’t important. We had exchanged DMs on most days for a while, and I asked her how she was doing. She replied, “I looked in the mirror and there was a pretty woman with stubble staring back at me.”
I recall asking her whether this was a good thing or not, and she affirmed it was. Her body felt like hers, and she could only see herself as a girl, regardless of such things. She had simply admired her reflection for what it is, shaved, and moved happily on.
I think why it stuck with us for so long, was that it was the first time I had heard a trans woman talk about herself in such a way. I was in a few lgbt groups at the time, identifying as a gay man, and had interacted with them a number of times, finding them good company and relatable for reasons that needed another few years to come out. They had always couched such things in disappointment, as though any incongruence with femininity had snatched all the joy it brought them.
This was the first time it occurred to me, that you could learn to see yourself as inalienably feminine. That your body is a woman’s body, if you want it to be, and nothing can take from you.
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