not my labyrinth not my minotaur

affirmations: you are not real, you don’t have feelings, you don’t want anything, this will be over soon

i don’t want to be angry anymore i’m never going to hate again unless someone says something really stupid or if i see something i don’t like at all or maybe just whenever i feel like it

i am 6 seconds old

get a job

they call me the guy whos afraid of everything because. what was that. whos there

bonding

of course he compels me. he has the demeanour of someone expecting to be yelled at at any given second

oh my cutes

problematic will to live gap

STATUE

7th-level transmutation (bard, warlock, wizard)

Casting Time: 1 minute

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M (pinch of lime, water, and earth; and a small iron bar, such as a nail)

Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour

You transform willing creature that you touch into stone, subjecting them to the petrified condition for the duration. While petrified in this way, the creature is a magical object, and it can be affected by divination spells such as detect magic and true seeing. Additionally, the creature is still aware of its surroundings and able to use its senses; and it is able to concentrate on spells. However, it is still unable to move, and its sense of touch is dulled.

If the creature is physically broken while petrified, it suffers from similar deformities if it reverts to its original state.

At any time during the spell’s duration, an affected creature can use their action to end the petrified condition and return to their original state or turn back into stone and become petrified again.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 8th level or higher, you can target up to three creatures for each slot level above 7th. The creatures must be within 10 feet of you when you cast the spell.

Converted from the Player's Handbook (3.5e)

My retirement plan is to be dead in a pit

is there any extra room in the pit? i am interested in joining u in this plan

I can't even get my own pit

this girl who has to be discouraged from hanging on me at recess was showing me her flu shot bandaid today & shes like “it didnt hurt when i got it :)” & im like oh good & shes like “its gonna hurt when you get it tho :)” bitch what

*at the beginner improv class* No because my feet are immune to banana peels and also I shoot beams out of my eyes that vaporize people. *beat* nuh uh because my eye-beams are immune to beam-proof skin so you still get vaporized. And scene.