guy who is definitely not about to fall into a surprise midday nap with an aftermath worse than a hangover: it seems like a really good idea to lay in bed and get cozy under the blanket as part of my plan not to fall asleep. I do not know why.

Really big problem: world hard cold and full of obligations, but duvet warm

In duvet: warm cozy. Everything as it should be

Outside duvet: debacle

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

we are in the midst of a true Real One

Dude the fact a COELACANTH blog is the one that survived when the rest died off……..

constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how he’s next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasn’t killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.

I keep sending them off on “boar hunts” together and wouldn’t you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!

two types of advisors

pancakes are made of eggs omfg

Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken

Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left.

I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t.

Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables.

This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens.

It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen.

Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds. 

Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it.

Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas.

Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur.

Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh?

You’re not allowed to let your chickens eat eggs purely because if they discover that they can, you will never get another egg from them again. They WILL eat them before you can collect them.

Yeah I was going to mention this. Once they get the taste, they’ll eat their own eggs and the eggs of other hens if they can. At that point, you gotta cull them.

I saw a post on pinterest recommending “anti-cannibalism spray” for chickens and the comments were all people like “It works!”

Narcissus taking a selfie is the ACTUAL best.

These are REALLY cool

These are art in themselves, in a some of them point out what lockdown was like for us, they’re expressed themselves in a really cool way. But I think these are going to be talked about in the future.

the funniest man on the planet

my knight dismissed me as his squire for shrieking “DIVA DOWN!” when he was unhorsed on the battlefield

i don't WANT to drink water I WANT a bard to draft a eulogy for me to criticise!!!!!!!

I appreciate that people also liked this one

Link

What a thirst trap!!!

... gotta say i am genuinely impressed by this man's ability to fold a fitted sheet and have it come out well.

HELLO?

the “what do you fear, my lady?” scene where eowyn talks about “a cage” is undoubtedly a great one however it’s kind of a loss that the dialogue that directly preceded it is not there in the film because

OH MY GOD

“WHEN THE MEN HAVE DIED IN BATTLE AND HONOR, YOU HAVE LEAVE TO BE BURNED IN THE HOUSE”

what kind of raw female dialogue holy shit

Brotherhood of The Orb

just had a convo with my friend. she mentioned she doesnt like sake cause its sparkling.

“wait, sake is sparkling? what have i been drinking?” i said. because i also dont like sparkling stuff.

i look at the sake bottle ive been drinking from for fun events for the past year. its vinegar.

i’ve been drinking strawberry flavored vinegar.

in my defense:

and:

its very hard to tell for someone who only kind-of reads Japanese and just saw the component for "sake flask" (酉) and, rightfully assumed, that the bottle that said sake was probably sake.

No no, you don’t get to hide this in the tags

Summary: no one involved was drinking sake.

ive always rly liked the idea of a member of a group of adventurers having what everyone assumes is very well trained hawk and then at the end of their journey its casually revealed that thats actually just his buddy whos a shapeshifter and just rly likes being a hawk

the guy also like thinks everyone knows bc he never tries to hide the fact that the hawk is a person but everyone assumes hes always just joking. like the others being like "damn its crazy how he knows exactly what you want him to do its like he knows english or something." and the guy is just like "well yeah thats his first language so ofc he's fluent??" and they all go "haha good one" and move on, leaving him confused

they just think hes a quirky guy that really loves his pet and says things like "the 9 of us" even tho there are clearly only 8 people! he just cares about the bird so much he counts it as a group member haha !

re-posting bc reblogs got turned off etc