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@ferntastic-m

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It is crazy to me how many cis dudes are like “My S/O got pregnant and got an abortion without my input/permission and this is a worse portrayal than being cheated on and I am absolutely justified in treating her like garbage after I impregnated her without her permission.” especially when the S/O is just a casual girlfriend and/or has bluntly told him they don’t want kids. I am of the firm belief you do not get to decide what someone does with your sperm after you deposit it in their body, you cannot force them to keep a pregnancy or to abort a pregnancy and having the intent to do so makes you a fucking supervillain. You can inform them you’ll be there financially and would like to coparent if they’re open to it OR you can tell them you have no intention of being a father and will not be in the child’s life but you do not get to control the decision.

The fact your girl did not tell you she was pregnant and had an abortion means she thought you were both clear on not wanting a kid at this time OR she knew you would be a massive fucking asshole about the whole thing. These guys treat it like a personal insult and a wound that someone they’ve been casually fucking for 4 months does not want to go through 9 months of pregnancy and have their baby.

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forget cannibalism it bums me out that i will probably never be able to ethically eat like, a flamingo

Penguin flippers, Kiwi breast, elephant trunk steak, that kind of stuff?

you jest but now I'm genuinely curious what penguin meat would taste like under all that blubber. would it retain any "bird" flavor or would it be more similar to marine mammals??? i don't actually want to eat a penguin to be clear, you've simply sparked my curiosity

My grandfather reported that they taste like fishy rubber boiled in motor oil. So bad that he only tried it once despite being on a ship in the Antarctic ocean for months on end. 1940s dry rations were preferable to fresh penguin.

Ok so I tried something similar today during work.

Pretty much most marine birds who mainly have fish in their diet taste pretty similar.

I tried a number of auk species (those include things like puffins, little auks, guillemots, razorbills ect.) And when boiled they both smell and taste kind of like wet Catfood and have dark meat.

Pretty gross and not reccomedable.

I could imagine its fair to assume penguin meat will not taste much different, though I can't give first hand accounts.

BUT i live in a place where people used to hunt and eat young gulls and they supposedly tasted good ( biggest lie ive ever heard).

I think with most of these marine bird species you really only eat them when you NEED to or go through a longer process of trying to get rid of the fishy taste by keeping them in milk baths or vinegar.

The joy of cooking has a similar suggestion for eating varmints who tend to eat garbage, such as opossums: Keep them alive for a week or so, feeding them oats, cereals, and honey.

Can confirm, makes for tastier varmint

THE JOY OF COOKING????

Found it! Apparently this is from at least the 1975 edition, though likely much earlier (Depression era cooking was notoriously creative).

Source A and Source B also have photos of several other unlikely recipes, including porcupine, raccoon, and squirrel.

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Damian: Todd, i need you to die so i can claim to be grieving and skip school for a while.
Jason, not questioning it: ya' better off with somebody else dying, i already came back once, they might not believe me.
Tim: *enters the room*
Damian: hm. maybe you're right. Drake! kill yourself.
Tim, not blinking: you fucking kill yourself. also i'm going to dinner later, wanna come?
Damian: sure.
Tim: cool. *leaves*
Jason:
Jason: ...so he aint even ask for context on the suicide baiting, huh?
Dick: it's not like it's out of the blue for those two.
Jason: fair.
Damian, announcing: i'm going to tell them Richard is dead.
Dick: woah woah hold on i'm supposed to go out in public tomorrow hold on-
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Paying your way through college by selling weed or doing Only Fans or whatever is infinitely more honorable than joining the military to get an education. Never forget community college is an option and you do not have to contribute to American imperialism to attend. I knew a girl who had scholarships but sold her dirty socks and underwear to pervs online for living expenses and she is stronger than any US marine for that.

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jasminesapphires
“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

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anarchistmemecollective
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mentalhealthmemez
“If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.” 

- Vincent van Gogh

the average person with bad taste can be into some extremely banal garbage but when you get close enough to someone with otherwise good taste that they start a recommendation by going off on a preamble about how they don't necessarily recommend it you know you're seconds away from hearing about some real torturously wretched dogshit

friend from work will have you watch a two hour movie where you can feel every second as it passes by, but enemployed movie mutual will put you on the kind of shit that feels like crawling on cobblestone until emaciated

people are reading this as the latter friend recommending dry, pretentious cinema. that's not the case. not that kind of situation. you're getting no enrichment out of this. I need you to understand they're making you watch Gooby because "it's kinda good"

Not to insert myself here but as someone who owns Ghost Rider 1 and 2 on DVD I do actually need everyone to watch it right now because in the second one a kid asks Nick Cage as Ghost Rider how he pees and Nick Cage says “it’s like a flamethrower” and then they hard cut to a CGI skeleton in full black moto leather pissing a jet of fire and then it does a shoulder check at the camera and nods like “hell yeah brother”

Fully derailing this post because I found a gif

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one of the batkids gets dosed with truth serum and they immediately use it to try to get the others in trouble. not the non-drugged batkids using it to their advantage mind you, but the drugged one.

Dick: B i have to tell you something and you have to remember i literally cannot lie. Jason's on drugs. i saw him taking drugs you need to punish him. he's on drugs.
Bruce:
Jason from across the cave, THE most irritated they've ever heard him: I TOOK AN IBUPROFEN YOU FUCKIN' JACKASS.

-

Damian: father, usually i am not a snitch because Jason trained that out of me at the league, but i am under truth serum so i feel i have no choice but to let you know that Timothy is neglecting to tell you about injuries he gets on patrol again, despite your interventions. he clearly has no respect for you and this should be addressed.
Bruce, grave: Tim, is this true?
Tim, immensely confused: wha- NO?!
Bruce: Damian is currently unable to lie to me, Tim. please, be honest.
Damian: he even did it tonight, he does it all the time father.
Tim: what the- WHAT FUCKING-
Tim: *pauses*
Tim, incredulous: yOU MEAN THE FUCKING SPLINTER I GOT FOUR HOURS AGO?!?!
Bruce:
Bruce: ok but you didn't deny the no respect thing.
Tim: no comment.

-

Tim, through the coms: B, i've been dosed with truth serum. also Jason's killing again.
Jason, just accidentally stepped on a snail but loves to disappoint Batman: and i'll fucking do it again, what are you gonna do about it?

This somehow might be the most siblings-coded post you've created yet

You know technology literacy is dying because I saw this meme with 76k likes

F11 the full screen button? You’re scared of the full screen button? F10?? It opens the menu bar???

Computers are so scary what if I accidentally hit F12 in a steam game and it takes a screenshot. What if I press shift + F12 while in word and accidentally save my document 😖

If you had to learn what the F keys on your computer do through me reblogging this post, then I'm glad you did. Computer literacy is not a skill that gets taught anymore, and it is absolutely one that needs to be taught in order to be learned. Don't ever feel bad for not knowing something, but ☝️ don't ever stop learning learning about your environment, the tools you use, and especially the people around you

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

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Bruce Wayne is Danny Fenton's Bio dad but I'm getting sick of comically evil parents so Maddie and Jack had a 3sum with Bruce way-back-when and she never ACTUALLY got a paternity check (they forgot/it didn't matter) but then Jazz gets into knowing her bloodline and family history and does a 23andMe test and then it comes back that her and Danny are only half siblings and they're like "omfg…. did mom cheat on dad??? ….. ITS NOT VLAD IS IT??? OH NO. OH NO" and then Maddie and Jack see it and they're like "oh! lol! that's probably Brucie :)" and then they're like "wouldn't it be nice for you to meet your bio dad? he's such a fun guy. He's funded some of our projects <3" and then they send Danny to live with Bruce for the Summer

cue Batfam shenanigans of everyone trying to keep identities a secret

(This is endgame Maddie/Jack/Vlad)

How much discourse do you think there is in the kpop demon hunters universe over Huntrix's breakup? I assume half the fans are analyzing every second of footage from the last three years looking for signs of tension and arguing about the whose fault it was and half the fans are posting that it's actually kind of fucked up to ruin the Idol Awards with a fake onstage breakup just to build up to dropping a new song, even if it is kind of a banger

@sagewiththyme You know that's a fascinating point because I figure the two options are a) no one really remembers what happened at the end because of magic bullshit or b) they play it off as a really elaborate but fully planned performance.

And the second one - can you fucking imagine.

Imagine one of the most popular bands in the world have this ongoing lore bit that they're actually demon hunters and they're always referencing it in their songs. And then one day a new boy band pops up and gets wildly popular with an over-the-top-cutesy hit. They're so soft and sweet and respectful. They're called Saja (Lion) Boys and they're all like "join the pride!" How cute!

And then they announce a new concert and you get there and it's fucking this. They're all dressed as demons/grim reapers. Surprise, "Saja" meant Jeoseung Saja all along! They're singing about how they're here for your soul and they relish in your pain, just a stunning 180 from their previous personas.

And then while you're trying to process the emotional whiplash the fucking demon hunter band bursts in and beats the shit out of them with the most insane pyrotechnic show you've ever seen in your life. They "kill" the boy band demons and then you never see them again. The whole band was a fucking psyop for Huntrix to play up the "demon hunters" bit.

I would never recover. The cheesiest fantasy power metal band has NOTHING on that level of commitment. I'd be stanning Huntrix for the rest of my life.

[ID: A comment by @‌sagewiththyme that says, "Didn’t they also say that the Saja boys were fighting onstage and that’s why they swapped time slots with the girls? Double breakup and makeup type thing". End ID]

"Yeah, the Saja Boys were a fake band. We paid them to steal the limelight for a little bit while Rumi's voice was out of commission. We thought it would be a cool setup for a triumphant return, you know? The cute little Lion Boys end up being secret demons trying to steal your souls, and Huntrix steps in and slays them in a triumphant return? ...Yeah. We planned it all, the songs, the heel-turn, the special effects, the whole shebang.

Except, uhhhh. We didn't expect them to get so popular so fast? They For Sure weren't supposed to make it to the final round of the Idol Awards. Like, for Legal Reasons. We were almost visibly panicking on stage when they announced that! I mean, do you know how it would look once it eventually came out that Saja Boys were working for us? "Oh, you planted a fake band so you could win the competition!" No joke. I mean, that is a pret-ty clear conflict of interest there. You know?

The Idol Awards are all about the fan's choices, and we just accidentally rigged the game.

The Saja Boys had to win the Idol Awards, now, but there was no chance. They only had two songs, Soda Pop and Your Idol. We couldn't have them push up the debut--I mean, we thought about it, Your Idol's a banger song and it totally would've given us a run for our money--but we'd have to follow it up with This Is What It Sounds Like, first off, and second, 'killing' the Saja Boys onstage would be like. The Media equivalent of announcing we won, like the Fans didn't have a choice in the matter. At the Idol Awards? Ha. Yeah. That's a no-go.

And I mean. Soda Pop is catchy but not that catchy guys, c'mon. We were totally gonna cream them with Golden.

So we were all scrambling. Rumi and Mira and I were trying to write and choreograph a brand new song, Takedown, something good but not Good Enough To Win, to maybe prolong the Rivalry, you know? To make our comeback all the more sweet. But it was all such short notice, and the song wasn't working, and Huntrix never gives a shoddy performance, on principle. We couldn't do it. But it was looking like the only way we were gonna legitimately lose was if something... happened during the competition.

And then Rumi had this brilliant idea..."

Memes

I just sent this to my husband and his response was “you can’t put a price on that” uh, yeah you can, they just did. 🙄

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jacquez45

My mother used to mutter “I want a WIFE” angrily from time to time.

Later, after my parents split up and my mom’s bff’s spouse died, mom’s bff moved in. Mom would come home from work and the house would be clean! Dinner would be ready! Laundry done! Homework checked!

She called me up, delighted, a few weeks into it. “I was right! I DID want a wife!”

i remember the blissful 14 months when me and my friend shared a nanny, and coming back into the living room to find she had spontaneously tidied up the extreme chaos. That must be what it’s like, being a man, that you can just walk away from some mess to get ready for work, and when you come back somebody else has dealt with it without any physical or mental effort from you. 

I think about this essay all the time

just a reminder that these prices are from 2014

In usd today a housewife is worth 278,431 and 14 cents.

Just so you know

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High King Phantom had been a honorary member of the Justice League for a while.

He had been summoned by the heroes about 25 years ago and found their apocalyptic scenario rather amusing. He had indulged them, enjoying the cute fear that painted their faces any time he would play up his annoyance.

It was after the first year of interacting with them that he started to remember what it was like to be human. He began to realize that these mortals were more than just cute pets. After spending so much time ruling the dead, he really had forgotten what it was like to be alive.

So, he got to know them. Their likes, dislikes, what they did outside of the hero business, what their individual moral code was. It was fascinating to learn about lives before they ended, and to make friends with living breathing creatures again was like a breath of fresh air.

Phantom had slowly shed his regal shell he'd built up over the centuries, eventually deciding to take a small 40 year vacation and help out his new... friends full time.

Everything had been going so so well.

That is, until a villain got a little too close with a obnoxiously powerful amnesia spell.

They had planned on wiping Phantom's memories completely and using his vulnerability as a means of control. They did not account for the fact that Phantom was much older than his 25 year old shell would leave those to believe.

Now, the Justice League is stuck with a condescending, slightly cruel, ruler once again, until they can reverse the spell. It would be so much easier if Phantom had left the spell-caster, or at least his ghost, alive, but they'll make due.

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DC x DP again :>

Danny, after he’s completely given up on his parents and his friends all decided that studies in other states was the best choice for them, he’s now decided to move himself. Amity park is pretty much calm now after he’s become the young king, and even if something was to come up, his ghosts would protect it on his behalf.

The city he’s decided on after a lot of research, searching best astrophysics schools in the country, was Gotham.

His big plan was to take on a job for a while to save up, then with the money from that he’d start school and maybe even apply to work with building rockets and other space programs. His constitution as a halfa officially killed his dream about actually going to space, since his health isn’t exactly his strongest feature.

Gotham was a cheap city sure, but that was also true because of its high unemployment rate. Most places that were stable to work at also had a high chance of being robbed, hijacked or becoming the center stage for a villainous plan.

Danny would have to think outside the box. What would a place like this need where he could have a stable income, make a lot of money and be able to keep his ghost self hidden

His solution?

Ghost cleanup crew.

Gotham was a city where it was almost guaranteed that someone would break into your apartment at least once a year, that number times the amount of people that lived in Gotham, it was surefire way to keep having an income.

He could use his ghost powers to handle most of the heavy lifting, get help from his otherworldly pals to repair, or at least salvage some of the stuff, and for an extra tip, he might even be able to help locate where the stuff went.

It was perfect.

Within his first day of putting up the advertisement, his entire week was already booked, it seems that since the apartment had already been raided, the people didn’t really see a reason not to try to save what was left.

Buuut it also only lasted a week before he was noticed by a certain group.

“You guys hear about the magic cleanup crew?” Jason asked out in the room one evening at the manor.

The rest of the family was in the middle of a rather fierce game of Uno. 4 weapons had already been confiscated. Bruce was calmly napping in his big chair, light snores filling the room whenever there was a break in the yelling.

Tim paused in his laying down cards to look at Jason. “You mean the one man cleaning crew that’s started up in the narrows?”

Of course the little creep knew of every new person in town. “Yea, I’ve heard from some of the guys in my crew that he’s some miracle worker. He’ll make your place look as close to new as possible after it’s been ransacked. In under a day too.”

Dick whooped as he laid down a green, stopping Duke’s win. “Bruce mentioned it on our last after-patrol-talk, the guy seems clean tho.”

Tim seemed mostly out of the game now and was glancing over at his tablet if he should look through his official notes on it. Something Jason knew he would do when he finally said his next piece of information. “Apparently he gives hints on who’s robbed the people too.” That seems to do it for most of them.

Dick halted in his track to once again switch colors, while Damian stopped his efforts to stab Steph under the table for her previous +2. “He’s telling people who robbing them? Does he have a death wish?” Duke said, following Tim’s movement with his eyes as the other finally moved to grab his tablet and pulling up the information.

Jason popped the gum he was chew on while looking up at the ceiling. “My guys also reported he was clean, but apparently he just knows.” The mystery was leaving a sour taste in his mouth.

A quiet settled over the group, slightly broken by the light breathing of Bruce’s sleeping. Even without saying it out loud, it calmed something in all of them to just hear him breathe. After a second Steph hummed and said “why don’t you guys just hire him then?” When all eyes turned to her she simply shrugged. “If he’s a cleanup crew, simply hire him and check him out. He seems to simply help people out if he’s clean, and if not, what better way to get a close look.”

“Jason’s place needs a loving hand too”

“Shut up Dickhead, at least my closet isn’t a chair in the corner.”

“If it works, it works” Dick stuck his tongue out but focused back on the matter at hand again. “It’s not a bad idea, it wouldn’t be unusual for our civilian places to be robbed and we wouldn’t just trust anyone.”

Eyes fell to Tim again, who simply blinked and began clicking “Guess we’re doing it like this then.”

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Healer phantom, who works for the justice league and needs field experience

he asks batman if he can get that in gotham, B, very reluctantly agrees because gotham do be needing a healer, or B agrees because he either owes danny/dannys healing mentor a favor

so danny is going to move to gotham as a new student in gotham academy, to help out with the aftermath of battles as a support hero

tim notices him in the academy, he knows about phantom, but not danny, and think of him as suspicious

Tim stalks him, danny thinks he's just shy and is bad at making friends, so he adopts him as his friend

that starts a domino effect of danny getting to be friends with all the bats, and they are all desperately trying to hide him from B because he's way too suspicious with a way too good cover story/fake ID

something something "oh hi B!:DD"

"hello danny:)"

"YOU KNOW HIM??!!??"

"have none of you read the report? really?"

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