You will never guess who tried to make a Nutrient Block in the late 90s
It really did have everything and some of the varieties even managed to have a Flavor, but the downside was that packing that much nutrition into a single log made your digestive system work REALLY hard and well it turned out to not be an appropriate thing to eat in an office environment. Look up the reviews if you want to hear some fascinating colorful descriptions of waves of loud farts
you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools
to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.
The lack of agreement across brands on what “extra firm tofu” is is, in fact, very high on my list of unimportant problems.
Several years back “extra firm” still had high water content and needed to be diligently pressed and pan fried with care if you wanted to achieve crispy.
And then I guess tofu had a moment and brands got scared of losing people to trial-and-error and started manufacturing extra-firm tofu you could use to break a window and escape a house fire with.
And the more Americanized brands went that direction while the traditional brands said “no that’s fucking stupid we’re not changing anything” and SOME brands said “what if we do like the middle of that?”
Buying tofu is now in fact a vibe-check game of assessing a brand’s packaging and gauging what YOU think they mean by “extra firm”
It’s actually worse in fact because you need to play the vibe-check game twice on account of the recipe will inevitably call for some kind of “extra firm” and you need to know ITS vibes.
Asking you to grate the tofu on a cheese grater and bake it? Westernized. You want that red brick tofu. You want Whole Foods amount of extra firm or SUPER firm because if that thing has any amount of moisture left in it it’ll disintegrate like Tubby Custard on the grater.
Tofu scrambled eggs? You want the OG extra firm. You want it to hold its form but still have that softness and give unless your goal is to imitate sad dining hall scrambled eggs.
Many such difficulties in today’s tofu landscape
They should be printing the tofu’s mechanical properties like it’s a structural material.
Shaking your hand shaking your hand shaking your hand???????
These are the random extra/super firm tofus in my fridge and the labels are based on my own experience with them. Completely in alignment with this trick hello????????????
I like to imagine the hyrule royal family breathes a sigh of relief every time a child is born that has no resemblance to ancient legends or goddesses, and then when they get one a little too uncanny they just go “fucking dammit we got another Zelda. Pack it up lads we’re fucked.”
King talking to an attendant like “yeah nah legit blonde hair and all. hanging out with that green kid. started playing music at like 2 years old we’re so fucked. anyway this big gerudo bloke is here to meet with me. sure this will be just fuckin grand. NOT NOW IMPA I’M BUSY”
I know this makes me sound like a cranky old millennial but, in this day and age of connections and communications, with our smartphones and computers and social media, it’s really not healthy to expect constant and instant social interactions from anyone and everyone.
Sometimes people in your life just, don’t want to talk, or can’t, and more often than not it’s nothing personal. Doesn’t mean they don’t like you anymore and doesn’t mean they just want to ignore you.
Strangers on the internet also don’t owe each other interactions. Somebody who doesn’t even know you isn’t obligated to respond to you. It’s no different from strangers out on the streets in real life not having to interact with you. Again, a lot of times, people simply aren’t up for conversations, nothing personal. People don’t have to talk to people when they don’t want to. People can just, exist.
No one should always be available, to always be reachable, online or offline.
These kinds of responses are my FAVORITE. Some examples to answers to this question I have heard:
1.
“Okay, and who’s the president?”
“Obama, no wait, shit *vehemently* fuck, I hate him… what’s his name…”
“It’s okay, you know who he is.”
2.
“Who’s the president?”
“*drunkenly angry and confused* ..uhhhhhhh…Orange… damn it what’s the fuck’s name….
“Yup, good enough.”
3.
“And who’s the president,”
“Not fuckin’ Obama!”
“I feel ya.”
4.
“Who’s the president- wait, nevermind you’re from Korea you said, right? So who’s-“
“Everybody knows that Trump-bitch.”
“Oh, well, alright then.”
5. (My personal favorite)
“Who’s the president?”
“Ew.”
“Good enough.”
My roommate is a neurologist and has to do this check all the time. Her all-time favorite so far has been “ay dios mio” during which the woman was vigorously crossing herself.
lol me too , lady
One time I got “that orange fuck” from a very cute little old lady with urosepsis
I have - quite unintentionally - contributed to this phenomenon.
I was waking up from surgery in the post-op observation room, where they kept people before sending them off to the ICU. The nurse was talking to me as I was semi-awake, telling me that as soon as it was ready, I would be sent to room 2008.
I did not hear the word “room”.
I started trying to sit up and get out of bed (entirely unsuccessfully), shouting (mumbling forcefully), “He’s not president yet! I have to warn everyone!”
That’s awesome. Thank you for trying to warn us
i’ve been looking for this post for ages and it finally crossed my dash again
(( *smiles* the post is back))
Paramedics had to stop asking “who’s the prime minister?” in Australia because it changed so often that not knowing the answer wasn’t really all that indicative of anything.
One paramedic reported receiving the answer “I haven’t watched the news today”.
Meanwhile in Germany, the joke goes that a teenager is waking up in a hospital bed, the nurse asks them who the chancellor is and they say, “hang on are you telling me that can change?”
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