sunrise, parabellum
1/14664

im evil here

im not good at tagging. you have been warned

listen to machinegum
read Medalist (manga). 
play Umineko no Naku Koro ni.

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clowndykeonabarbiebike:

flippedroundagain:

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Absolutely cackling over the banjo subreddit

The fact I had no fucking clue which euphemisms were about sex and which ones were about playing banjo

notahorseindisguise:

“its a living” <- guy who has a job it hates

“its'a living!’ <- dr mario frankenstein

pankendev:

by all means. but also by all niceys

kcdoos:

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TETOTETOTETO 💥💥💥

munchy-k:

munchy-k:

munchy-k:

ive always rly liked the idea of a member of a group of adventurers having what everyone assumes is very well trained hawk and then at the end of their journey its casually revealed that thats actually just his buddy whos a shapeshifter and just rly likes being a hawk

the guy also like thinks everyone knows bc he never tries to hide the fact that the hawk is a person but everyone assumes hes always just joking. like the others being like “damn its crazy how he knows exactly what you want him to do its like he knows english or something.” and the guy is just like “well yeah thats his first language so ofc he’s fluent??” and they all go “haha good one” and move on, leaving him confused

they just think hes a quirky guy that really loves his pet and says things like “the 9 of us” even tho there are clearly only 8 people! he just cares about the bird so much he counts it as a group member haha !

creamiestdoenuts:

creamiestdoenuts:

target acquired. small animal deployed.

a small baby pūkeko (small black fluffy bird with long spindly legs and large thin feet) walking across the floor of a house towards the camera which is moving backwardsALT

INCOMING

256gb:

256gb:

in case you need further proof re: penn & teller’s shithead basketball

i still think it’s insane that penn’s son showed them my dumb joke and then immediately they made this video on the spot

xekstrin:

xekstrin:

My boyfriend, again blending together fanfiction tropes: So what if when you finally find your soulmate, that’s when you discover if you’re alpha or omega, right?

Me, hands shaking as I frantically search for pen & paper: KEEP TALKING

Me: Seems hellish

Boyfriend: So does being an ant person

Me: Again, baby, they’re not ants

Boyfriend: YES THEY ARE. They communicate via pheromones— LIKE ANTS.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing….

Boyfriend: You could trick them into following orders and thinking they’re dead by spraying them with a spritz bottle. I think they need a queen.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing…. Seems hellish!

Boyfriend: Not really. If being around the other person is what triggers the changes, if you want to go back to normal… all you need to do is leave.

Me, writing: (You found your soulmate. It’s changing you in scary ways. All you need to do is leave… how difficult would it be to leave? What pressures exist to stay?)

Boyfriend: So these ant-people—

Me: OMEGAVERSE IS NOT ANTS!!!!!!