swagophile:

none of this even real we living in goo goo land

shadowseductress:

i want to be loved correctly or left alone

byjove:

‘I realized my husband jumped from his relationship to his babymama to his relationship with me just so he’d have someone to do childcare-’ yes, this is common, this is why a lot of people try to warn young childless women away from dating older men with kids. ‘so I’m going to move us away from his children and try to get him out of paying child support so we can have a happy relationship together.’ damn, I was wrong, maybe you deserve each other after all.

eymurn:

Oh! The intimacy of adopting each other’s vocabulary.

pisshandkerchief:

what are they going to do about the fact that you can never go back

depsidase:

hokkotarumae:

starting a collection

bippus:

“kill self” at the bottom of an otherwise long and healthy to-do list

newporters:

whats so wrong with wishing people would die

torturequeen:

I hope something cool dope or legendary happens to me soon

ovur:

You have to use your phone when you have a really bad headache

homunculus-argument:

Fun fact: if you, as an adult, tell miserable children that their youth is the best that life will ever be, and that it’s all just downhill from there, there’s a percentage of them who will hear this and think “well, I guess I better kill myself before that happens.” And a certain percentage of those will proceed to do that and succeed.

Anyway what I’m saying is that any time you feel tempted to say that, you should instead consider shutting the fuck up. Just because you peaked at 16 doesn’t mean anyone else did. Most peoples’ lives get better than that.

bonivers:

saiintofawe:

holy shit dude the elephant in the room just beat that horse to death holy fuck he’s still going

calicotisane:

Its so cold outside i can see my speech bubble