Assorted Bullshit & Occasional Ramblings

Omg big gay men vs trans guys football game saturday ^_^

Stuck on the idea of vampires as a kind of reverse fae, or like someone's twisted, perverse attempt at moulding humans into fae.

They're repelled by liminal spaces.

A vampire could never enter fairyland, not just because they'd never be welcomed, but because most of the usual entry-ways are naturally barred to them.

They can't cross running water. They can't be seen in mirrors. They will wait forever at a crossroads, unable to pick a direction to go in. They can't even step over a thresh-hold unless there is absolutely no ambiguity about whether they are welcome inside.

They crave human blood, iron and salt, but are repelled by herbs and plants. They are supernaturally prevented from harming you unless the rules of hospitality have been invoked.

A fairy may replace your newborn child with something unnatural and ever-hungry. A vampire will do the same, but with your grandmother's corpse.

The fae are typically associated, even in stories where they're the bad guys, with flourishing and purity. Vampires, even in stories where they're the good guys, are typically associated with decay and corruption.

The fae turn ancient human burial mounds into fancy halls for their courts. Vampires take ancient human castles and let them grow mildewed and cobwebbed, exchanging the beds for coffins, turning them into burial places.

Fae don't tend to live among humans, but can generally pass for them with relative ease if they so choose. Vampires nearly always live among humans, but tend to find not revealing themselves a huge struggle.

I can't think of many stories I've read where fae and vampires even exist in the same universe, let alone ones where they actively interact. I feel like their enmity is almost more inevitable than that between vampires and werewolves, however.

The rivalry between vampires and werewolves is, essentially, the rivalry between two apex predator species who share a territory. (Even in stories where the werewolves aren't actually hunting humans.)

The vampires hate the werewolves because the werewolves interfere with their access to prey. The werewolves hate the vampires either because they consider themselves aligned with humans (the prey species), or because they are also predators and the vampires are competing with them.

By comparison, I think there's some story potential in the fae finding something genuinely creepy and uncanny valley about vampires.

They're immortal, like them, but also dead. They can be beautiful, like them, but that beauty is something they actively require humans to sustain. They like to inhabit beautiful and ancient ex-human dwellings, like them, but they actively work to make those places dark, damp and empty.

Fairies who are unflappable in the face of all sorts of Otherworldly monsters, can look an eldritch horror in the eye(s) without blinking, and have never been phased yet by any human, but will recoil from even the weakest vampire.

Vampires who hate fairies just as much, but in a more envious way. The way that the creature for whom immortality is a curse is bound to hate the creatures for whom immortality is an eternity of sunlight and laughter.

Maybe their touches burn each other. Maybe vampires can't stand physical contact with anything so alive and vital. Maybe immortal fairies become ill from too much exposure to the undead.

Maybe they fight over the human population when their territories overlap. The fairy need for servants and people to make deals with, competing with the vampire need for thralls and blood to drink.

Just… fairies and vampires. We need more stories about them interacting.

The only other fae/vamp crossover I know of, and like the exact same vein, but with more enemies to lovers

does a bear go up shit creek without a pot to piss in?

not if nobody's around to hear it

from the term “disc jockey,” more commonly known as a dj, we can conclude that music is descended from horses

Despite it being a riff on the “women can’t drive” stereotype, I like how driving does play into offering a peek into Sophie and Parker as individuals and their relationship. It may be one of my favorite little mini things.

The first mention of driving skills (or lack thereof???) gets dropped in 3x07 “The Gone Fishin’ Job”:

Parker: Who knew a sedan could hit 140? Sophie: Parker, you are never to get behind the wheel of a car again, okay? Never.

Now, Nate seemed unperturbed by the experience from his front row perspective riding shotgun. Maybe Sophie was just exaggerating. Or maybe being in the back seat just made it worse. But then we get to the next episode, 3x08 “The Boost Job”:

Eliot: Parker, where’d you learn to drive?! Parker: Before I stole cars, I was a getaway driver. Hardison: Before? You started stealing cars when you were twelve.

The flashback sells it. Along with the horrified expressions of Eliot and Hardison when we come back to them. Later, when they swing around to pick up Nate and Sophie, How long do you think it took Sophie to realize Parker was behind the wheel? Mind you, the back seat would have had Nate, Sophie, Eliot, and Josie crammed together like sardines.

Not that Sophie has much room to cast aspersions on driving abilities according to 3x15 “The Big Bang Job”:

Parker: Who taught you how to drive? Sophie: Taxi driver in Istanbul. Parker: I like it.

I feel like this should be one of those “Your approval fills me with shame” moments. Not that Sophie cares. (And, really, there’s a whole story there, because at what age was Sophie learning to drive from an Istanbul taxi driver???) It might be more important to her to keep Parker in the passenger seat. Certainly it was Sophie behind the wheel of the ambulance in 4x07 “The Grave Danger Job.” (Parker did have a different, very important task at the time.)

But, for all that, I couldn’t help but notice that in 4x15 “The Lonely Hearts Job,” who is behind the wheel to pick up Lady Charlotte Prentiss after her date?

Nate: Okay, Meredith is off comms. Parker? Parker: I’m here. Sophie ready?

Parker in the cutest little pageboy! Sophie doesn’t even hesitate to get in. Of course, fast forward five minutes llllater:

[Taxi peeling out.] Hardison: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa— Eliot: Parker, slow down! Sophie: Parker!

Oddly, despite all their collective past experiences, the whole team still lets Parker drive. Their reactions are so them, too, because Hardison doesn’t criticize Parker, but he airs his fear as a form of disapproval; Eliot outright commands Parker to not be herself; and Sophie doesn’t need more than the scolding tone in saying Parker’s name to convey “You need to tone it down.” And there’s something about the underlying arc that threads through Parker’s driving, wherein they all know that Parker’s driving is bound to include illegal maneuvers at best and be life-harrowing at worst, but they trust her and her skills (and she is skillful to have been a successful getaway driver, not to mention that she has the reflexes of a cat) enough to not kick her out of the driver seat. She does get them to places quickly, alive and in one piece.

Or maybe just a carful of otherwise smart, intelligent, competent people really can’t see this bad decision for what it is. Or maybe they just love Parker enough to let her do the driving if she wants to do the driving. The smart move in “The Rundown Job” would have been for Hardison or Eliot to quickly replace Parker in the driver seat, but instead their immediate recourse was to panic over the lack of seatbelts.

Honestly, though, if I could make gifs, I would gif Sophie telling Parker she could never get behind the wheel again and then do a set right under it showing Sophie getting into that taxi. I feel like that sums up so much about how these people protest about not being able to stand each other or finding one another incomprehensible, but truly appreciate each other’s presence and trust each piece of the team to hold their own whatever they’re called to do. (Except for the Ice Man. Never rely on the Ice Man.)

Ah, so THAT’S why nobody ever complains that Nate is usually the driver even though he can’t pass a breathalyzer to save his life. If they tried to stop him he’d just be like “okay, so who SHOULD drive?” and so much chaos would ensue that they’d just give up and give him the keys back.

some birds are very intuitively named. looked up a sparrow going chipchipchip in my yard, it was a chipping sparrow. saw a black bird with red wings, it was a red winged blackbird. gray bird that sounds like a cat? gray catbird. the first time i saw a house finch it was perched on a windowsill. However, some birds are the red-bellied woodpecker

hey, hey, don’t cry. seals are recolonizing the tidal zone of the Thames River in London, okay?

"they make me insane" and it's my own ocs

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it ith the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

Fascinated by the perceived necessity of an Equivalent Exchange

Each Benoit Blanc film takes place in a different season and classic murder mystery setting.

Knives Out: Autumn in a country house

Glass Onion: Summer on a private island

Wake up Dead Man: Spring in a small town

So the next film in the cycle needs to be set in winter on a mode of transportation.

The people yearn for Murder on the Orient Express

love how much of Aragorn’s initial interactions with the hobbits is just telling them not to say things

aragorn: could you stop casually invoking the dread name of the ancient and terrible evil that even now follows at our very heels for FIVE MINUTES

aragorn: hey I gotta take a breather can you take over the hobbit duties for a bit

gandalf: no worries got you covered

Aragorn’s given up

elrond: hey you can’t say that here

gandalf: you can’t tell me what to say, do I look like a hobbit to you

The film repositions this for comedy, but in Return of the King, there’s this scene:

Gandalf, outside the door: oh hang on, just a sec. for reasons I won’t explain; this is about to get super geopolitical. Try not to spill too many beans in front of Denethor.

Pippin: Do I have that many of them?

Denethor: right, you ignorant child! Under my skilled interrogation I shall force you to spill the beans.

Pippin: I know three things about beans and will share them (under skilled interrogation, discourses for a full hour on beans, the preparation thereof, the cultivation thereof, and the Shire’s various thoughts on beans in general)

Gandalf: (pretends to be annoyed) denethor if you wanted SENSIBLE discourse on geopolitical beans I am RIGHT HERE

Denethor, fascinated: no! I already know everything you’re about to say and I’m NOT accepting criticism at this time. And I genuinely have no idea what this guy’s going to say next - do you have ANY idea how fun that is for me

Pippin: now the classic market share of baked beans inna tin belongs to Heinz, but I myself am a Branston man, because - referencing my previous statements - if you want beans, you do NOT need to faff about with a tin opener. The decision to retain the pop-top -

Gandalf: this is unbelievable. denethor, can we -

Denethor: BZT! ✋ let him cook

(Later)

Pippin: are you mad at me for talking about beans for an hour

Gandalf: it was, in a weird way, the best move on the chessboard, and so politically savvy that it furthered three of my agendas, and was also really funny to listen to. Denethor has the long sight; he is accustomed to reading the minds and hearts of men at a long distance, these long years. Actually, maybe this has jaded him as much as anything else. To meet a mind whose umwelt, whose very nature, he has not already fully plumbed is not just an act of political obfuscation on our part; for Denethor himself, could such fresh provocation burst his stagnant social bubble, and save him from being so terminally fucking online? Might we have uncovered the potential of a Theoden thematic parallel? Much to ponder. The only unfortunate bit was that you kept freezing up and looking guilty when Denethor asked you about containers

Pippin: you said not to spill any beans and I was worried he’d trip me up

Gandalf: it is, as ever, like talking to a fucking genie with you people

ilya destroying that plate of spaghetti right before this sweet moment is so fucking funny to me. especially since the actor was actually eating the spaghetti

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

art books on the internet archive for you

morpho books

figure drawing for all it's worth (+ creative illustration)

framed ink

will eisner comics and sequential art

will eisner graphic storytelling and visual narrative

understanding comics (+ making comics)

folder of various animation production art

burne hogarth drawing dynamic hands

perspective for comic book artists

michael mattesi force drawing

the animator's survival kit

color and light james gurney

be free

I've recommended this one before, but for all the non-human vertebrate likers out there... the art of animal drawing