honestly i think it's disgusting that people still share that five year plan fuck it we ball image as a funny meme, as if it doesn't uncritically encourage self-destructive behaviors like starting a podcast

one of the batkids gets dosed with truth serum and they immediately use it to try to get the others in trouble. not the non-drugged batkids using it to their advantage mind you, but the drugged one.

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This somehow might be the most siblings-coded post you've created yet

that’s not even all of them.

"i want to work on a hobby but i wont because i should be doing more important things" <- person who isnt gonna do either of those

the justice league put on a scavenger hunt for the kids from the children’s cancer center of metropolis and it added 12 years to my life

Joker can go fuck himself because Bruce’s sense of humor is great the clown prince has just never told a good one.

like he woukdn’t’ve smiled if that kid said anything

Hell the kid could have just said please and Batman would have cracked a grin just to make the kids happy

Batman is a freaking stellar human and he would 1000000% spend all his time helping kids if there werent criminals haunting the streets.

The whole reason he became Batman was so no other kid would go through what he went through.

Batman is amazing.

so so many fictional characters i love i know i would HAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEE as people. but when they are within the context of their little worlds and dealing with people that are not me i luv them

Unmute !

Captions

Woman in purple, in a high pitched, enthusiastic voice: if you’re not at work today or you’re working from home, you may be wondering, whAt day is it?

Man in suit, emotionless and factual: itsmonday

End captions

emotionless and factual? that man is heartbroken. you can hear the grief in his voice.

Guess what day it is again folks

It’s monday

Happy first Monday of 2023 to those two newscasters specifically.

HI, 2024!

Happy First Monday of 2025!

Happy First Monday of 2026!

i love seeing tendons move under my skin and being reminded im an awesome meat puppet #mypuppet

horse owners are either extremely far right or extremely far left. horseshoe theory but for owning an actual horse. I guess it’s because apolitical moderate weirdos are too weak to steer a horse in either direction. you have to have some sort of conviction to ride a horse, they can tell when you’re wavering and they will ignore you.

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

youre right im sorry beautiful

worst part of anxiety/ocd is that sometimes your fears actually do happen and you have to wag your finger at i like this still doesn't prove you're right asshole. it's like having a venom symbiote except you don't even get to have gay alien sex

People only like posts about base level emotions like "love" and "suffering" unlike us who indulge in highly advanced emotions like "car alarm"

Having a wide variety of friends is fun. One of my friends' boyfriend - one of the most recent additions to the collection - has a habit of only joking by saying sarcastically absurd or utterly idiotic things with complete deadpan seriousness. Another one is the most sweet and pure-hearted autism creature who is too delicate and far too pure for this world.

So every time she gets caught up by something baffling he said, he just keeps running with it, until someone intervenes and tells her that he didn't mean that seriously, that was a joke. Otherwise he would just keep smooth sharking her both ways all the way to the shores of Liechtenstein and back again.

Liechtenstein is landlocked.

Exactly. Op is saying the guy had no intentions of ever stopping

Liechestein is double-landlocked. And I genuinely can't tell if he's unable to stop himself or simply unable to make it stop. For all I know it could be like running in a hamster wheel where the only way to stop it is to eat shit and fall off.

someone just literally interrupted me mid conversation to tell me “what wonderful big dark eyes i’ve got” and on the one hand extremely flattering that she couldn’t even wait until the end of my sentence to comment on this, on the other hand did she have to say it like im the big bad wolf

Dubcon but it's me bringing you back from the dead

ok I endured it. now what!!!!!!!!!