Life is too short not to start something stupid.

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Hey hello hi

I’m Ash

haha remember when I was a baby child that was a horrible phase of my life we aren’t talking about

Age is nunya business

Location: behind you

Proud aroace, femflux, and pansexual

atheist but I support other religions 😎

pronouns are she/they

I’ll draw something sometimes (like once every two months) oh and I probably might not post it

My fandoms are ROTTMNT, HTTYD, MCU, PJO and oh is that it I think that’s it

I have a sister on here (she’s hiding from me) don’t know where she is but I will find u sis

I would tag moots but I’m afraid to forget someone so

all of you are now my moots 😊

uh what else do I type here bro 🫥🫥🫥

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equalistmako

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

damianmcgintleman

he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!

equalistmako

you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too 

prokopetz

Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft - an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.

My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.

lightninjohn

Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?

prokopetz

Yes.

iguanamouth

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carryonmy-assbutt

oh god theres art

tediousfeline

@altadude you know what must be done.

altadude

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drowningsun

ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr

magickspills

I apologize to all my followers for this

watfordwallflower

if i had to read this you do too

quinintheclouds

I have a hate-hate relationship with this

theepitomeofamess

………

anony-phangirl

Good grief… I’m sorry, but I can’t not reblog this…

broadwaytheanimatedseries

Tis the season bitches

theresneverenoughfandoms

DAMN IT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK YOU HEATHEN

logan-exe

Why is this on my dash?

princeanxious

…..I’m.. Bothered? by the fact that I’m not bothered by this.

randomslasher

You’re not bothered?? I’m not only not bothered, I’m freaking invested. I’m having actual empathetic sadness for The Grinch. I want them to go into couple’s counseling. I want the “ten years later” when Tony visits Whoville on business and meets the reformed Grinch whose heart has grown 3 times its usual size. I want them to reminisce over a shared dinner of roast beast and wine, then spend a drunken night together, then realize that maybe things are different and people really do change. I want a 3-act story where there’s a long dark night of soul searching and the realization that maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance. 

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em-in-the-den

current aesthetic: cute english teacher who’s high key banging the history professor

satanstrousers

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current aesthetic: the history professor

lightgetsout

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current aesthetic: the history professor’s substitute who joins in on the action.

datvikingtho

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current aesthetic: the principal who really wants to get in on this sexyfest, but also doesn’t want this whole thing to blow up in his face.

professor-remus

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aesthetic: the librarian who nearly exposes the whole affair before joining in.

welpwomp

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aesthetic: The bookish guidance counselor who thinks you all need Jesus. 

gandalfthegreywarden

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Aesthetic: the law student in his dorm across campus who can hear everything.

squided

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aesthetic: human burrito college student that wants as far away from these people as possible

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kissyourneck-slitmythroat

I showed this post to my boyfriend and he tried to take his shirt off like a girl and 

uh

yeah

peetasboxers

Out of the 82k notes my post got this is by far the best comment holy shit thank u for being u

wingscannotspeak

So i tried it both ways and uh

i mean how do you do the first one without pulling out all your hair?

zorobro

this made me laugh really hard….

and it made me realize that girls and boys pull their shirt off differently. /amazed

but seriously I think girls just do the cross arm thing because of HAIR like demonstrated 

wingscanspeak

So one year, one URL change, and a hair cut later, I decide to try again… FOR SCIENCE! 

Its not science unless you write it down so 

30secondstocalifornia

First method:

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Well done, i guess…

Second:

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I fucked up

Girls… how?

plushestrumpest

I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE CAN HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT WAYS OF TAKING OFF SHIRTS AND SO MUCH DIFFICULTY DOING IT THE OTHER WAY

iprayforangels

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!

It’s all in the way that girl/boys shirts are made.

Girls shirts have less armpit room then boy’s do and are generally shorter so pulling it off over your head is more practical because by lifting your arms all the way up you make enough room for the sleeves to just slip off.

Boys shirts have more room and are generally longer so it is easy to slip them off over your head.

but if you take a girls shirt off like a boys shirt you will get your arms caught because there isn’t much armpit space.

and if you take a boys shirt off like a girls shit you will still have your head in it when you’ve lifted your arms all the way up because of the shirt’s length.

It has nothing to do with us. It is entirely to do with how our shirts are made. I figured it out for you. YOU’RE WELCOME!

super-highschool-level-homestuck

bless you

wingscanspeak

look what is back on my dash. Jesus.

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mylordshesacactus

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

mylordshesacactus

The rules of Gay Pirate Plate are simple by the way.

  1. The plate must be clearly and openly displayed in a place of great prominence whenever it is in your possession. When it is not in your possession, the display piece must remain in place. This is where you would put your gay pirate plate, IF YOU HAD ONE.
  2. No active steps may be taken to prevent the theft of the Gay Pirate Plate. That goes against the spirit of the game, as does attempting to hide it.
  3. The plate MUST be stolen and cannot be gifted or removed with permission. Should you witness attempted theft of the Gay Pirate Plate you are required to intervene and return it to its place.
  4. Every time your sibling successfully absconds with the Gay Pirate Plate, you must respond with indignant fury, as if you have not also repeatedly and blatantly stolen the Gay Pirate Plate.
mylordshesacactus

WOE

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PLATE BE UPON YE

mylordshesacactus

STATUS UPDATE

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I texted this image to my family at around 2am their time last night and woke up to appropriately indignant messages about theft, betrayal, etc.

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what-even-is-thiss

When I criticize jk Rowling do not assume I always hated Harry Potter. I knitted hogwarts house scarves. I got my first binder to dress as Draco Malfoy for Halloween. I reread the books multiple times. I read probably every pottermore article there was at the time.

I’m not here to validate your smug feelings about not liking a children’s book series 20 years ago. I’m here to discourage others from spending money on it and to give myself and others words and space to work through some feelings. I’m a trans person that made Harry Potter one of my cornerstone interests. One of my favorite things. I’m not some cis person doing cope.

Harry Potter was a big thing. Like. Big in a way that’s difficult to fully understand. It still is. If you were caught up in it during your formative years it’s normal to need to process all of the horrid things now associated with it.

Having to burn down the house you grew up in is going to be hard even if it turns out that the house was always rotten from the inside out. Even if it turns out that the foundation was made of straw. But the destruction and deconstruction must happen if one hopes to move on and move forward. That’s why I talk about it at all.