AH! Three days ago at work, I was having a bit of trouble. You see, my friend and I made a very obvious sort of mistake, and purchased some horrible and delicious fried chickins from a skanky sort of gas station "food tray." Of course, I was lifting a bunch of heavy shyte, as usual, but the process was a disgusting example of why one must never purchase chikins or other assorted meats (we got corn dogs and mystery burritos too) from a filthy ghetto gas station.
My gas was palpable. The disgust I felt was magnified by the extreme heat of each expulsion. So much for holding them in... Every time I bent over to heft some sort of heavy object, like a horrible bag of industrial garbage, or a dead cat, my abs just tensed so affectionately around muh guts that there just had to be some sort of equally loving and caring response. So the air around me was pretty shitteh.
So there happens to be a really supah dupah ultra mega hitting up on me all the time princessy black fellow who works the heavy lifting department with me. I could tell he was getting a strong dose of muh medicine, for his face kept twitching in that pained sort of expression one excludes when the body encounters soomtin naturally vile. So I approached him with the intention of apologizing; it turned out to be just another example of him being suggestive with me though. "Hey man, urh... sorreh aboot that smell, it happens toos be coming from-" At this point he interrupted me with that silly, spazy sort of expression I have come to expect from his gay old self.
He was like, "Yeah I know... its from your freend!" His brain paused for a little 'teehee,' then he continued with a suggestive lift of his eyebrows, "Mmmmhr! Smell that ass to eh?"
I was of course instantly taken aback, and was speechless except for a slightly timid sounding "I uh guess sooos..." He just winked his rather unfeminine eyebrows at me, and as he bent over to pick up some more heavy shyt, flexed his gym pumped buttocks rather strenuously. I did not fart so much after that... butthole was cleeenched so thouroughly it hurt.