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How to be a blue dude, pro-phlegm style.
14 years ago
General
I happened to be eating an apple at one point in my life. It was a delecious apple.. But then a butt-uggleh worm crawled out of one of my chomp marks. I asked him, "What the fuck are you doing nomming up in my apple, homes?!"
He of course was offended by my foul language and semi-ghetto demeanor, so his little wormy self grew less pinkish and more reddish in the face, and was all like, "This aint your apple, boy. You don't know better, but I am here to tell you that it's not."
I was taken aback! I knew not what to say... Who was I to say that my words meant more than this worm's, or that I had more of a right to say who's apple this was? As I grew a little chilled out while thinking about this, the worm relaxed a bit, too. He obviously saw that he was about to have a discussion with a reasonable ferret, I guess. I was at a loss though.. How was I to simply say, "Nah, you are wrong. This is my %#@$in apple, sir." There was nothing to say to back that up ^^.
He saw the indecision in my face, and decided to make his move, "Well son, tell you what. This is a big apple to me, even though it's just a couple of bites for you. How bout' you let me have this here apple, on account of the fact that it would benefit me more than thou?"
I was almost convinced, when I realized that nothing he had said should have had any effect on the fact that there was a worm in this apple I had really been enjoying eating in peace up till that point. So, against seemingly impeccable logic, I found a very silly and smart-ass response to give that worm, "I am not in the mood for taking shit from a worm, I am here to enjoy an apple. You can fuck off kind sir."
The worm left, because I started clicking my thumb and foreclaw like they were pincers. Perhaps I was wrong to assume the fact that he was bothering me was a fine enough justification for gently asking him to leave. I don't think so though.. I had been enjoying myself, but his reason clearly showed me just how much of a difference that apple would have made in our very different lives. I guess maybe I should have not been a dick.. I am okay with it though. I even still speak with many of the worm's friends like I was never cruel either ^^. Immah boss. It was my God-given right to assume I was above this worm, for any reason I felt was religiously justifiable. Yeeeeah Immah boss! I eat apples better anyway.
He of course was offended by my foul language and semi-ghetto demeanor, so his little wormy self grew less pinkish and more reddish in the face, and was all like, "This aint your apple, boy. You don't know better, but I am here to tell you that it's not."
I was taken aback! I knew not what to say... Who was I to say that my words meant more than this worm's, or that I had more of a right to say who's apple this was? As I grew a little chilled out while thinking about this, the worm relaxed a bit, too. He obviously saw that he was about to have a discussion with a reasonable ferret, I guess. I was at a loss though.. How was I to simply say, "Nah, you are wrong. This is my %#@$in apple, sir." There was nothing to say to back that up ^^.
He saw the indecision in my face, and decided to make his move, "Well son, tell you what. This is a big apple to me, even though it's just a couple of bites for you. How bout' you let me have this here apple, on account of the fact that it would benefit me more than thou?"
I was almost convinced, when I realized that nothing he had said should have had any effect on the fact that there was a worm in this apple I had really been enjoying eating in peace up till that point. So, against seemingly impeccable logic, I found a very silly and smart-ass response to give that worm, "I am not in the mood for taking shit from a worm, I am here to enjoy an apple. You can fuck off kind sir."
The worm left, because I started clicking my thumb and foreclaw like they were pincers. Perhaps I was wrong to assume the fact that he was bothering me was a fine enough justification for gently asking him to leave. I don't think so though.. I had been enjoying myself, but his reason clearly showed me just how much of a difference that apple would have made in our very different lives. I guess maybe I should have not been a dick.. I am okay with it though. I even still speak with many of the worm's friends like I was never cruel either ^^. Immah boss. It was my God-given right to assume I was above this worm, for any reason I felt was religiously justifiable. Yeeeeah Immah boss! I eat apples better anyway.
Carson_Coyote
~carsoncoyote
