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General | Posted 11 years ago
goatflufflesThinking of moving again (Please read)
General | Posted 11 years agoOkay so let's be honest, this account is a fucking train wreck. It's full of vent art, whiny journals and bad memories. Plus my username on this account is sort of triggering for me now as someone I will not name made fun of it without realising how upsetting it was for me. So yeah, I may make a new account, yet another new fursona and have a fresh start. I'm not sure what to use as a username though so if you have any suggestions please let me know ^_^
Good news
General | Posted 11 years agoIt's not ringworm! It was just my eczema acting up hahahahaha...I must have looked like a right idiot to the doctor
You don't know true pain...
General | Posted 11 years agoUntil you may have ringworm and you're not allowed to scratch anywhere that itches.
Thanks, anxiety
General | Posted 11 years agoThanks for making me feel like I'm constantly bothering everyone
Thanks for making me feel useless and annoying
Thanks for putting fake scenarios in my head and making me sad for no reason
Thanks for making me seem like a sniveling, pathetic babyf5 or refresh for new icon - art by zillyhoo
General | Posted 11 years agoGIMME PIZZAAAAAA
Songs that mean a lot to me and why
General | Posted 11 years agoThis is a dumb journal but I want to do this so shut up
Goodbye My Friend - John Barrowman's Cover
I'd never heard this song before I got John's new album. And to be honest, even when I got the album, this song didn't really stick out to me too much. Then for whatever reason I looked it up on YouTube when I was out one day and paid attention to it. Every note, every word, every instrument etc. This version, however, was from his live show from 2012 I believe? He said he was singing it for the pets he's lost. So when I was listening to it I was thinking of my lovely gerbils I had last year, Svengali and Rasputin. They were my best friends for a while and I loved them to pieces so when they passed away I was heartbroken but this song made me feel happy about them and helped me to remember the lil cuties. I know they were only gerbils and this probably sounds pathetic but I loved those gerbs a lot. Also, in light of recent events, this song really makes me remember my friends, Daniel who passed away 2 years ago and Lucas who passed not that long ago. It makes me feel better about it tbh.
We Are Golden - MIKA
Ah, the childhood memories of MIKA songs are strong and it was tough to choose just one but this one means the most to me. It reminds me of when I used to go on holiday with just my dad and brother and dancing like crazy to it on the dancefloor, hyped up on sherbert and slush puppies. This song also makes me feel super duper happy just because of its upbeat music and positive lyrics and ahh I just love it haha ;v;
Montauk - Rufus Wainwright
Yeah, it was hard to pick just one Rufus song too tbh ahaha xP But yeah this song is so adorable and listening to it makes me so gushy and happy and aaaa it's just so cute!! To be honest the reason it means a lot to me sounds so dumb but basically this is song that will be sung to my future cat. I hope my future boyfriend doesn't mind being called his "other dad" :')
Footloose - Kenny Loggins
I pretty much just chose this song because it was used in Derren Brown's Infamous and you all know why that means so much to me so yeah I'm not gonna write a long paragraph on that one as I already have about 10 times
Heaven On Thier Minds - Tim Minchin's version
This just brings back so many memories of 2012 which was practically one of the happiest years of my life. I was always complaining about how bad my life was but my life was freaking awesome back then. The one thing that made it awesome, which is why this song sticks out to me, was seeing Jesus Christ Superstar (also starring Minchy) with one of my best friends at the time and having the best afternoon and evening of my life. Everytime I listen to this song it makes me so nostalgic and happy.
Candles - Rufus Wainwright
Okay scratch that idea of only having one Rufus song. This song is honestly so beautiful and I love it so much. And again, it makes me think of Daniel and Lucas. When I'll be doing covers in the future I will definitely cover this in dedication to one of them and at the moment I think it will be Lucas because he was one of the few people who shared my love for Rufus and I'm sure he'd appreciate. Also Daniel was overly camp so I'm sure he'll prefer me covering a song that was introduced to me by John Barrowman :')
Goodbye My Friend - John Barrowman's Cover
I'd never heard this song before I got John's new album. And to be honest, even when I got the album, this song didn't really stick out to me too much. Then for whatever reason I looked it up on YouTube when I was out one day and paid attention to it. Every note, every word, every instrument etc. This version, however, was from his live show from 2012 I believe? He said he was singing it for the pets he's lost. So when I was listening to it I was thinking of my lovely gerbils I had last year, Svengali and Rasputin. They were my best friends for a while and I loved them to pieces so when they passed away I was heartbroken but this song made me feel happy about them and helped me to remember the lil cuties. I know they were only gerbils and this probably sounds pathetic but I loved those gerbs a lot. Also, in light of recent events, this song really makes me remember my friends, Daniel who passed away 2 years ago and Lucas who passed not that long ago. It makes me feel better about it tbh.
We Are Golden - MIKA
Ah, the childhood memories of MIKA songs are strong and it was tough to choose just one but this one means the most to me. It reminds me of when I used to go on holiday with just my dad and brother and dancing like crazy to it on the dancefloor, hyped up on sherbert and slush puppies. This song also makes me feel super duper happy just because of its upbeat music and positive lyrics and ahh I just love it haha ;v;
Montauk - Rufus Wainwright
Yeah, it was hard to pick just one Rufus song too tbh ahaha xP But yeah this song is so adorable and listening to it makes me so gushy and happy and aaaa it's just so cute!! To be honest the reason it means a lot to me sounds so dumb but basically this is song that will be sung to my future cat. I hope my future boyfriend doesn't mind being called his "other dad" :')
Footloose - Kenny Loggins
I pretty much just chose this song because it was used in Derren Brown's Infamous and you all know why that means so much to me so yeah I'm not gonna write a long paragraph on that one as I already have about 10 times
Heaven On Thier Minds - Tim Minchin's version
This just brings back so many memories of 2012 which was practically one of the happiest years of my life. I was always complaining about how bad my life was but my life was freaking awesome back then. The one thing that made it awesome, which is why this song sticks out to me, was seeing Jesus Christ Superstar (also starring Minchy) with one of my best friends at the time and having the best afternoon and evening of my life. Everytime I listen to this song it makes me so nostalgic and happy.
Candles - Rufus Wainwright
Okay scratch that idea of only having one Rufus song. This song is honestly so beautiful and I love it so much. And again, it makes me think of Daniel and Lucas. When I'll be doing covers in the future I will definitely cover this in dedication to one of them and at the moment I think it will be Lucas because he was one of the few people who shared my love for Rufus and I'm sure he'd appreciate. Also Daniel was overly camp so I'm sure he'll prefer me covering a song that was introduced to me by John Barrowman :')
guys
General | Posted 11 years agoI sung the line "I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me" from well you don't need me to tell you do you but yeah I sung it cus the people at college I consider my friends were walking way ahead of me cus I'm a slow motherfucker and they DIDN'T KNOW THE SONG???
I literally felt like clawing their eyes out I'm just so disappointed
I literally felt like clawing their eyes out I'm just so disappointed
General | Posted 11 years ago
So no one cares about my dysphoria
Great c:
Great c:
EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS - I need a new binder!!
General | Posted 11 years agoHey guys so ever since I've been more active and stuff with college and whatnot I have fortunately lost lots of weight! Yay! This is a pretty good thing, however my binder is starting to get looser on me meaning a lot of the time it doesn't do its job very well. I want to get a new one but I'm saving money for Christmas presents etc and heaven forbid I ask my parents to buy it for me. So, it looks like I'll have to earn the money myself. The binder I want is $30 so I will take 6 $5 commissions
I will draw pretty much anything. However, it will have to be traditional and will not be coloured. Sorry, very low on art supplies lately.
Slots
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Thanks for reading and please spread the word and help out if you can! <3huffs
General | Posted 11 years agoThis is gonna sound really dumb but it genuinely hurts when people misgender me now
Cus most people in my life now use the correct pronouns and name and that really does make me feel great
Then there's family
Who I understand have a harder time since they've known me as she for 16 years but idk ever since male pronouns became a reality it hurts even more now
I hate days at home with my mum
It's not her fault, and she's been so supportive and amazing
But I hate the misgendering
Idk how to get her to understand
I don't even mind her not calling me he
Just
Use they if it's that difficult
I hate family get togethers now
A room full of people calling me a girl
I know I'm being selfish
It just hurts idmI'll be okay
General | Posted 11 years agoHe's not worth it
Now to get that 3-4 hour sleep :P
Now to get that 3-4 hour sleep :P
I legit feel like I'm gonna throw up
General | Posted 11 years agosomebody please let me vent to them please please please
i made a draw my life
General | Posted 11 years agohttp://youtu.be/smG4vJb91VQ
go watch ;v;
go watch ;v;
I wanted to do the thing
General | Posted 11 years agoI did something very similar to this on tumblr but this seemed interesting
Dear Parents
You're both amazing but please accept me for who I am. It hurts when you pretend this huge part of me doesn't exist.
Dear siblings
I miss one of you a lot! The rest of you are pretty rad and I love you all
Dear friends
I have no idea how you all put up with me to be honest but you're all the best and I love you!
Dear best friend
You are so amazing I just wanna hug you forever and thank you for everything you've done for me. You mean so much to me. You're the best.
Dear boyfriend/girlfriend
Sorry, you don't exist right now.
Dear ex
I'm sorry for everything I did to you. But to be honest, your attitude wasn't much better. I'm glad we'll probably never talk again. You made everything turn shit again so thanks.
Dear school
I always look forward to Mondays and Tuesdays. They're the best days at college cus you're all so nice. Even when I'm annoying as hell, you're all still so accepting and I love you all. Thursdays, however, even though all the lovely people are still there, bring nasty tutors and drama. I see people who I care about getting hurt and upset. I do love you college but please, tone down the negativity on Thursdays.
Dear crush
Again, you don't exist.
Dear favorite singer
You're so amazing and your music has helped me a lot. Especially the Out Of The Game album, I'm obsessed with that shit. Also, please notice me Senpai.
Dear old me
DON'T BE AFRAID TO COME OUT! As Derren said, people don't really care! Also, don't change who you are to satisfy those around you. It sucks.
Dear myself
Hey, you're doing pretty well at the moment. Almost a month clean from self harming and working harder at college! But, you still need to tone down that hyperactivity. You're definitely not as bad as you used to be, but you just need to try a little harder. Also, learn to love yourself soon, please c:
Dear future me
I swear to God if your voice hasn't changed after T I am gonna be so mad.
Dear life
Well, you certainly have been bumpy. Then again, you're never easy for anyone else so I shouldn't expect anything less. In hindsight, you've not been too bad. You've brought amazing people into my life over the years and I thank you for thst .On a lighter note - Let's do another notification clogger!
General | Posted 11 years ago1. What was the last TV show you watched?
The Fixer
2. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?
Bulmers
3. Have you ever lied to get out of a date or relationship?
Not really
4. What do you think of velvet knickers?
Wow they sound really uncomfortable
5. Have you ever been in the back of a police car?
Yes
6. Post a screenshot of your tumblr dash
I cannot
7. Post a screenshot of your facebook newsfeed
I cannot
8. What do you normally order in a bar/pub?
Lemonade cus I'm under 18 //sobs
9. Have you ever wanted to be a police officer?
Not really
10. What is your usual everyday dress code?
Oxymoron corgi obviously
11. Do you lift weights?
Lol no
12. Sherlock or Doctor Who?
Content based would be Sherlock. Unfortunately I hate 90% of the fandom.
13. Do you know self defence?
Ehh not really
14. What fandoms are you part of?
Too many to list brah
15. Who is your OTP?
Ten x Jack
16. Glitter or feathers?
Glitter. Because I live for it, not you.
17. Daisies or buttercups?
Daisies
18. What countries have you been to?
England, Tunisia and France
19. Do you think schools should bring back corporal punishment?
Wtf no
20. Post a screencap of a Google maps view of your hometown, state or county.
I CANNOT POST SCREENCAPS
21. Have you ever self harmed?
That's really fucking personal??
22. Do you look after your body?
Nah lol
23. How much sleep do you get per night?
About 8 hours?
24. If you could take only one trip with the Doctor in his TARDIS where would you ask him to take you?
Tbh I'd be blabbing all over the place if I met the Doctor. And I don't really know lol
25. Do you think women look good in suits?
I guess
26. Matches or lighters?
Lighters
27. What is your favourite type of cake?
Chocolate I guess
28. Who was the last celebrity you spoke to and what did you say?
Dave Gorman and I said thanks to him for helping me through a bunch of crap going on in my life and yeah I miss that
29. Do you get starstruck?
I was pretty awkward around him but then again I'm awkward around anyone I've never met before lol
30. Who was your favourite author as a child?
Roald Dahl
The Fixer
2. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?
Bulmers
3. Have you ever lied to get out of a date or relationship?
Not really
4. What do you think of velvet knickers?
Wow they sound really uncomfortable
5. Have you ever been in the back of a police car?
Yes
6. Post a screenshot of your tumblr dash
I cannot
7. Post a screenshot of your facebook newsfeed
I cannot
8. What do you normally order in a bar/pub?
Lemonade cus I'm under 18 //sobs
9. Have you ever wanted to be a police officer?
Not really
10. What is your usual everyday dress code?
Oxymoron corgi obviously
11. Do you lift weights?
Lol no
12. Sherlock or Doctor Who?
Content based would be Sherlock. Unfortunately I hate 90% of the fandom.
13. Do you know self defence?
Ehh not really
14. What fandoms are you part of?
Too many to list brah
15. Who is your OTP?
Ten x Jack
16. Glitter or feathers?
Glitter. Because I live for it, not you.
17. Daisies or buttercups?
Daisies
18. What countries have you been to?
England, Tunisia and France
19. Do you think schools should bring back corporal punishment?
Wtf no
20. Post a screencap of a Google maps view of your hometown, state or county.
I CANNOT POST SCREENCAPS
21. Have you ever self harmed?
That's really fucking personal??
22. Do you look after your body?
Nah lol
23. How much sleep do you get per night?
About 8 hours?
24. If you could take only one trip with the Doctor in his TARDIS where would you ask him to take you?
Tbh I'd be blabbing all over the place if I met the Doctor. And I don't really know lol
25. Do you think women look good in suits?
I guess
26. Matches or lighters?
Lighters
27. What is your favourite type of cake?
Chocolate I guess
28. Who was the last celebrity you spoke to and what did you say?
Dave Gorman and I said thanks to him for helping me through a bunch of crap going on in my life and yeah I miss that
29. Do you get starstruck?
I was pretty awkward around him but then again I'm awkward around anyone I've never met before lol
30. Who was your favourite author as a child?
Roald Dahl
Sorry for the vent journals
General | Posted 11 years agoI've just been feeling really shitty lately
I will shut up with my dumb feelings now
I will shut up with my dumb feelings now
I'm so sorry...
General | Posted 11 years agoI'm not proud of the way I acted
I loved you
You meant the world and so much more to me
And I got mad
Just because you didn't have time to talk to me
I made you so upset
You don't deserve a dick like me as your partner
No one does
I'm glad you've moved on already
He is the luckiest guy alive
I wish you all the best
I know there's a chance we'll never speak again
And even if we do the outcome won't be pretty
But I'll never forget you
Hopefully this has taught me not to be so clingy
Goodbye
I love you...Kill me...
General | Posted 11 years agoI'm at college and I'm still depressed as hell :)
Great
General | Posted 11 years agoNow I'm triggered by bears.
Fucking bears.
And I was the one who made fun of stupid triggers.
I couldn't sleep so I talked to my friend Danny. They suggested I watched Brave to calm myself down as I had told them a while ago I'd never seen it. Also, it's one of their favourite movies. So, I did. And I was really enjoying it, up until the part where Merida's mum turned into a bear. The cute little facial expressions. They made me think of him...The way he smiled at me on that day we were together...I honestly thought he was the right person for me...I felt at home when I was with him...He obviously didn't feel the same way...
I feel like such a dick for being mad at him...But at the same time...he built my hopes up for a long and healthy relationship...then just ignored me...treated me like some toy you get bored with after a while...
I just hate everything...
I haven't felt this low in a long time...
I'm still smiling of course, wouldn't want to worry anyone...
Fucking bears.
And I was the one who made fun of stupid triggers.
I couldn't sleep so I talked to my friend Danny. They suggested I watched Brave to calm myself down as I had told them a while ago I'd never seen it. Also, it's one of their favourite movies. So, I did. And I was really enjoying it, up until the part where Merida's mum turned into a bear. The cute little facial expressions. They made me think of him...The way he smiled at me on that day we were together...I honestly thought he was the right person for me...I felt at home when I was with him...He obviously didn't feel the same way...
I feel like such a dick for being mad at him...But at the same time...he built my hopes up for a long and healthy relationship...then just ignored me...treated me like some toy you get bored with after a while...
I just hate everything...
I haven't felt this low in a long time...
I'm still smiling of course, wouldn't want to worry anyone...
Sorry...
General | Posted 11 years agoSorry for that journal. I wasn’t trying to get attention, I just wanted to let out some anger. I’m okay though I guess. Just pissed off. I’ll delete it now then maybe get some sleep and so I can be my normal happy self at college tomorrow.
Today was perfect
General | Posted 11 years agoThat is all
CHILDHOOD FEELS
General | Posted 11 years agoI remember we had this series on VHS and I used to watch this one over and over again and I loved it so much
http://youtu.be/VVVzJO0Iw-U
http://youtu.be/VVVzJO0Iw-U
Wedding Meme
General | Posted 11 years agoBecause I'm currently bored as frick and I cannot sleep
Your Wedding Meme:
Pick 13 people
Use: https://www.random.org/lists/
Your Groom/Bride
Peter Capaldi. Pretty sure that'd be illegal
The Best Man
Fang. Pretty accurate i would definitely have him in mind
The Ring Bearer
Micheal. Again, would consider it.
The Flower girl
Jodie. Awww~
The Wedding Planner
John Barrowman. YAAASS WE WILL HAVE THE MOST FABULOUS WEDDING
The Priest
Jack Douglass. Just yes.
The Bride's Maid
Kaz. Don't see that tbh xD
The Chef
Nathan. I don't think I'd trust him in the kitchen tbh
The Father-In Law
Rufus Wainwright. So Rufus is actually Peter Capaldi's dad. Even though he's 15 years younger than him.
The Overly-Joyed Crying Mother-in-Law
Danny. Yep, seems pretty accurate to me.
The Jealous One
Mattie. AWWW MATT-MATT BBY
The Wedding Crasher
Lisa. That would definitely happen yes
The Photographer
Dayna. She is a photographer as well WHOAHH