I missed most of the people I wanted to attack this year! So I'll be making gifts. If you get one you're not expected to revenge.

I had a really great Art Fight! So great in fact that I spent 100% of the time on revenge after the first quick little drawing. I'm really sad that it's over, but also after the overwhelm going back to being alone all the time is kind of peaceful at least for the first couple of weeks

I'll post the art soon! :D

A little late but it's been fucking outrageous over here. I wish you all a year of prosperity, growth, new and copious love of all kinds and a motherfucking break. (Yes, even you.)

This year I'm turning inwards (coming out of my cage and going right back in) and re-evaluating my values, presentation and approach with my art. Yes, again, and yes, even more.

This year I have a mentor! I'm really surprised to have found one at my age, but apparently they're out there if you are lucky. He's a sweet older romanian man with a similar background as me (though far more opulent), and he always has time for me. I'm excited at the personal growth and independence I've already learned and hope this can sway the year in my favor.

My health is steadily going down hill and my ''good days'' are getting further and further apart. Instead of resting and trying to recover, I plan to treat this year as if it's the best I'll ever experience again, because it just might be. I might be a little happier if I let myself use up what I have, instead of trying to store it up and hope I get more.

Hope you all had a good holiday! I wish you happiness.

I've kind of lost steam for the art challenge, as I made the mistake of including other people, which is normally what causes the downfall of any art project I begin, heavy or light. I had hoped to challenge myself and to recover from the last time this happened, by proving to myself that my creativity was worth something more than 2 seconds of a scroll pause.

But after the first and then the second image wasn't even acknowledged I just haven't found the desire to do a 3rd to see it completely unrecognized as well. I'd rather spend my time doing something that doesn't make me feel like crap! Sooooo much art just.... makes me feel like crap since I started including other people.

So... I might just experiment with color palettes on my own terms, on my own time, at my own pace, of my own characters, since that's the one person who will care about it and be happy!

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I'll be doing Huevember, but in a personal and private challange. I won't be selling slots or anything of the sort, but I'll invite you to drop your characters here in a non-owed, no-obligations opportunity for me to draw your characters! I might include you, and I might not. Just opening a little door, here.

If you reply to this journal with links to your characters, I'll refer back to them as I proceed with the challenge.
Please tell your friends of my unusual request thread, you don't have to be a follower. Anyone can submit!
You are free to submit as many characters as you like, I'll consider each one.

Be sure to name them so I can refer to them properly when posting! For this offer, I'm not offering custom, tailor made art requests, so please omit these. I'll draw your character according to my interpretation of your references, and what feels right in the moment.

Thank you so much! Looking forward to it!

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hategarden

Hey there! Just wanted to drop my Tumblr link here!

My blog is all about art: a cozy little corner where I share loads of my stuff you won’t find anywhere else!

There's progress shots, long-lost forgotten work, uplifting words and my secret sauce for staying motivated. You’ll find step-by-step tutorials and helpful resources to inspire your own creative journey, I drop it all there for you to find!

As a bonus It’s totally free of random posts or off-topic chatter! Just pure, uninterrupted art goodness! :V Come take a peek, it will be totally worth it

I felt the need to reach out after learning this morning that someone I once admired for their rationality, kindness, and higher reasoning has given in to fear and now seems unable to see the difference between a multi-billionaire warmonger and a high school student. It saddens me to see that they, too, have joined the ranks of those they oppose: reacting harshly against anyone from a particular racial or cultural background. They're no better than the people they denounce.

This is especially surprising and heartbreaking given that this person belongs to a group that has faced significant marginalization and persecution themselves.
I want to express my sympathy and gently remind you that most people understand that accusing someone of supporting genocide requires far more than them simply being born in a certain place.

I am deeply sorry for the way you have been treated. It's truly sad you have to face this at a time when support and compassion are what you need the most to endure the hardships you're facing. There is nothing more painful than losing a friend, lover or family member and then being wrongly accused of celebrating their loss because of where you come from.

You are not defined by where you were born. You are not inherently evil. You are not responsible for the actions of powerful billionaires who silence dissent. You are deserving of love and understanding. Who you are is shaped by your choices and beliefs, not by the land you were born on.

Stay strong! Keep moving forward, and know that I will continue to believe in your innocence until you personally tell me otherwise. Take care!

Hey everyone!

So, I recently posted a spicy Terms of Service (TOS) that will stay tucked away in my journals for now. I haven't decided if I'll actually offer this yet, but wow, the amount of support I've received has been totally unexpected! Thank you all so much for your encouragement and enthusiasm. It really means a lot!

Now, a little confession time: I’ve rarely had adult content on the table, even though it's clearly in demand, pays well, and I'm comfortable doing it. I’d love to share why I haven’t ventured into this territory and hear about your own experiences with lewd art commissions. Your insights would really help me make up my mind!

First off, I’m not embarrassed by the nature of adult art, nor am I worried about being judged for catering to a mature audience. My real concern? The behavior of some clients on the other side of the transaction. For some reason, mixing payment, creative freedom to describe what they want, and the fact that it’s sexually explicit gives some people the idea that they can say or do anything. I have no clue why! If you take away even one of these factors, this bizarre entitlement never seems to show its nasty face.

Almost every single time I’ve done a paid lewd commission, I've had encounters that left me feeling extremely uncomfortable (check out the red text on page 2 of the spicy TOS for the gritty details—I’d rather not spell it all out again here). When someone talks to me like that under the guise of simply ordering art, it gives me the creeps—like the time I was followed around a department store by a guy who had exposed himself and was trying to involve me in his “activity” while I desperately searched for help.

Many experienced mature artists have assured me that no, this is not how people usually act when ordering explicit commissions. Yes, they too would be horrified if a client behaved like this. I guess I'm a superior creep magnet :]

Let me break it down for you: Drawing sex scenes is not quick and can't be treated with the same process as my regular art. Even a modest piece easily takes 20 hours or more. This means I’m locked in my own head with the commissioner for hours on end, soaking in whatever rancid vibes they’ve dumped in there with me. If that vibe is gross or creepy, I basically have to muster up the courage to suffer so I can start a session, battling that nasty department-store-pervert feeling the whole time. (This has happened with PG-variety bullying too, but it’s still a nightmare.)

And here's the kicker: If you’re not okay with letting a client sexually harass you, they get angry that they didn’t get what they thought they paid for and act like you’re the one who wronged them. I've had people try to damage my reputation out of spite, or as an attempt to justify their shameful behavior and escape accountability.

The excuses I’ve heard from a these people in my career are wild, but always the same:

“You didn’t clearly state that I couldn’t show you my genitals, there was room for interpretation! You tricked me into sexually harassing you as part of some scam!”
“You agreed to draw the cover for my erotic fan fiction, so you invited me to tell you when I’m... you know! You tricked me into sexually harassing you as part of some scam!””

I can’t tell you how much I hated these encounters. The dreaded red-text scenarios on page 2 of the TOS have haunted me every single time I considered accepting one of these requests or opening sales to the public. The “bread girl” incident is basically pulled right from my last “Pay What You Want” experience on here—let’s just say, I managed to finish the surprisingly PG-13 drawing but can’t stand the sight of it now.

THE HORRORS.

I’m hoping the spicy TOS will serve as a shield against these bad actors, removing those two ridiculous defenses that creeps seem to love pulling out once I hit the brakes. But this isn’t a magic bullet. I’m still exposing myself to potential department store creeps and the mason jar of icky feelings they have with my name on it.

I’m still figuring out how to confront this reality, am asking how others cope with it, and where to go from here. Any advice or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated!

This is a separate addendum to my terms of service for works that are sexually explicit >:3

https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....XgQDCIVNE/edit

I have finally written out a terms of service! This is made for transparency, to protect you and me, and to avoid hard feelings when I inevitably have to say no to some of you guys ;u;

https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing

Reading them is your choice!
The terms remain valid even if you choose not to read them, so It might be a good idea to look into what to expect when paying for my work!